I have written a book called "M/s for the Rest of Us" it is available for purchase here: http://www.lulu.com/shop/k-e-enzweiler/ms-for-the-rest-of-us/paperback/product-22151343.html

Or on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Rest-Us-K-E-Enzweiler/dp/1329062213/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1432825657&sr=1-2&keywords=m%2Fs+for+the+rest+of+us

I am the founder of the Albuquerque Masters Group. We meet once every other month. The group is open to all who wish to explore their Mastery, slavery, or Dominance and submission. Please contact me here or at my email : Bigdykebear@yahoo.com for more information!
The meetings are free to all who wish to attend!

If you are interested in power munches, skills workshops or play parties in the Albuquerque area please contact the 20 year organization of AEL at:


If you are interested in active online community please find:


Group names for the Albuquerque Community Include:

Land Of Enchantment Fetlifers

Albuquerque Kinksters

KinkySpot Clubhouse

Albuquerque Master/slave forum

New Mexico Leather League: Leather/Kink/Fetish and More

Friday, May 25, 2012

Faces of Albuquerque: Community Leaders Part Two

 This is part two of the community leader interviews that I did in which three of the leaders of the Albuquerque and New Mexico communities were patient enough to answer my questions. Their bios are in the previous article but I have included their contact info if you wish to contact them!

Daddy Stan:  Alternative Erotic Lifestyles (AEL) at   aelmailing@gmail.com

Sera Miles at: www.newmexicofetlifers.com        www.fetlife.com/seramiles     www.twitter.com/seramiles

Shelby Sue at: https://fetlife.com/groups/16977

1)    What are the conflicts that you see happening over and over again

Daddy Stan:       People overstepping personal boundaries. The number of times over the years that I have had to pull people aside, and let them know that a given behavior was reported is far greater than it should be. Thankfully the incidents have decreased in the past few years, and I think that is due to greater education through events such as the AEL Power Munch.

Sera Miles:    Conflicts--whew! People fighting for primacy in the community. I think Albuquerque is in a good place, and this conflict isn't strong in our community right now. But, I recently visited another city where this conflict is ripe and stressful for all involved. We need to understand that we all do better, create better opportunities, and leave a stronger legacy when we work together. One group's shining moment doesn't destroy anyone else. Another group's crisis moment can be an opportunity for cooperation. I feel like it sounds trite, but we have to, as a whole community, focus more on unity.

Shelby Sue: I think most conflicts stem from people not being able to see things from someone else's perspective. We all have this picture in our head of how things should work, but what's good for me isn't good for everyone else, and I'm no more important than anyone else is. People criticize the actions of others, the relationships of others, the ideas of others, but rarely do we step back and say to ourselves, "what makes me right and them wrong? Can we both be right?" In a community where we advocate communication and negotiation between individuals we seem to foul that up more often than we'd like to admit.

2)    What drove you to begin your journey of organizing events, and is it what still drives you now?

Daddy Stan:  I did not opt to be organizing events. The group had gone dormant for several months, and two more experienced people asked us to join them in getting AEL up and running again. After a very short period of time, they both left, leaving AEL in our laps.

Sera Miles:  I was lonely! I'd been a stay-at-home and then work-at-home mom for a year. Most of my friends did not have children, and I was not able to be as active in the sex worker community I'd loved for many years. I wanted to find people I could hang out with as my whole self--mom, kinkster, and everything in-between; and I figured that if I wanted that, other people did, too.

Shelby Sue:   When I moved to Las Cruces two years ago there was no active group. I was just getting my feet wet, so to speak, in the kinky community and I wanted and needed a community to relate to, so I started a group hoping others would join, and they did. Now it's a family to me. I wouldn't give this group up because it's a group full of my friends, friends I can be open and honest with, without the fear of judgment or disdain. That's a beautiful thing in my world.

3)    What do you feel is the biggest pressure when it comes to being a leader?

Daddy Stan:  Trying to keep a balance between making people happy, and doing what is needed. For example, wanting to do certain activities vs. what is lawful, or finding reliable venues vs. a few individuals personal tastes.

Sera Miles:   To make the next class/event/get-together, etc, bigger and better. To smartly gather the resources to create what the community (seems to) need. I don't feign to always KNOW what the community needs, but my team and I work at paying attention and doing our best to create what we feel people are hungry for. Gathering the basic resources (time, space, money) to make all of those things happen is always a challenge. I don't want our work to feel lackluster, and I don't want to rely on excuses of, "Oh, that's all we could manage ..." which is often a way of saying "YOU, community, weren't willing to pay for anything else/help with anything/put any energy in." I want our work to inspire folks to say, "I will volunteer, b/c going to this and fostering it is important to me"; or, "I will make this event happen for me financially b/c I want to learn"; or, "I see what you are doing, and I want to create this--let's work together, let's move forward, let's grow."
That is all both the greatest challenge and the greatest joy in being a community leader. I love that challenge--I wake up in the morning energized by that challenge. What can we make next? How will we do it? We know what we need--now how do we get there? How do we best communicate? How do we inspire? Figuring out how to sign a contract and place an order and such are the easy parts. The invigorating part is inspiring the community to come together once that contract is signed

Shelby Sue:   For me the biggest pressure is to maintain my professionalism. I get just as riled and agitated as everyone else, but it's my duty to maintain a level head and be the voice of reason. There are times when, I'm sure you're shocked to hear, I want to tell everyone to take a flying leap, but I don't, because I have to put on my big girl panties and put out the fires, not start new ones.

4)    What is the one thing that you want people to know about being a community leader?

Daddy Stan:  It is not something to do for your own purposes. If you do it, plan on making some people upset with you. As I said earlier, we did not opt for leadership. The goals should always be for the greater good and advancement of the community.

Sera Miles:   One thing to know about being a community leader: this is an all or nothing proposition. Being a leader in this community is not something you can do--successfully--halfway. This is a huge commitment. It is better to honestly say, "No, I can't," than to think you can do it halfway.

Shelby Sue:   Community leaders are human. We cry, we put our panties on one leg at a time. We're not perfect, and our capacity for ridicule and criticism is finite, just like everyone else. I would ask everyone to step back and ask themselves, what would I do if I were in that situation?

Thank you so very much to Daddy Stan,  Sera Miles and Shelby Sue for your time and thoughtfulness in answering my questions!

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