(Picture by Fox_Fotography!!!!)
Leather Bear Tails is about the leather journey of my slave and I. It deals with all parts of the leather and BDSM experience from safety to predators, to skills, and all of the lovely mistakes that she and I make along the way!!
Also!! I have written a book called "M/s for the Rest of Us" it can be found for purchase here: http://www.lulu.com/shop/k-e-enzweiler/ms-for-the-rest-of-us/paperback/product-22151343.html
I have written a book called "M/s for the Rest of Us" it is available for purchase here: http://www.lulu.com/shop/k-e-enzweiler/ms-for-the-rest-of-us/paperback/product-22151343.html
Or on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Rest-Us-K-E-Enzweiler/dp/1329062213/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1432825657&sr=1-2&keywords=m%2Fs+for+the+rest+of+us I am the founder of the Albuquerque Masters Group. We meet once every other month. The group is open to all who wish to explore their Mastery, slavery, or Dominance and submission. Please contact me here or at my email : Bigdykebear@yahoo.com for more information! The meetings are free to all who wish to attend!
If you are interested in power munches, skills workshops or play parties in the Albuquerque area please contact the 20 year organization of AEL at:
If you are interested in active online community please find:
Group names for the Albuquerque Community Include:
Land Of Enchantment Fetlifers
Albuquerque Master/slave forum
New Mexico Leather League: Leather/Kink/Fetish and More
Friday, May 25, 2012
Faces of Albuquerque: Community Leaders Part Two
This is part two of the community leader interviews that I did
in which three of the leaders of the Albuquerque and New Mexico communities
were patient enough to answer my questions. Their bios are in the previous article
but I have included their contact info if you wish to contact them!
Daddy Stan: Alternative
Erotic Lifestyles (AEL) at firstname.lastname@example.org
1)What are the conflicts that you see
happening over and over again
People overstepping personal boundaries.
The number of times over the years that I have had to pull people aside, and
let them know that a given behavior was reported is far greater than it should
be. Thankfully the incidents have decreased in the past few years, and I think
that is due to greater education through events such as the AEL Power Munch.
Miles: Conflicts--whew! People fighting for primacy
in the community. I think Albuquerque is in a good place, and this conflict
isn't strong in our community right now. But, I recently visited another city
where this conflict is ripe and stressful for all involved. We need to
understand that we all do better, create better opportunities, and leave a
stronger legacy when we work together. One group's shining moment doesn't
destroy anyone else. Another group's crisis moment can be an opportunity for
cooperation. I feel like it sounds trite, but we have to, as a whole community,
focus more on unity.
Sue: I think most conflicts stem from people not being able to see
things from someone else's perspective. We all have this picture in our head of
how things should work, but what's good for me isn't good for everyone else,
and I'm no more important than anyone else is. People criticize the actions of
others, the relationships of others, the ideas of others, but rarely do we step
back and say to ourselves, "what makes me right and them wrong? Can we both
be right?" In a community where we advocate communication and negotiation
between individuals we seem to foul that up more often than we'd like to admit.
2)What drove you to begin your journey
of organizing events, and is it what still drives you now?
Daddy Stan: I did not opt to be organizing events.
The group had gone dormant for several months, and two more experienced people
asked us to join them in getting AEL up and running again. After a very short
period of time, they both left, leaving AEL in our laps.
Miles: I was lonely! I'd been a
stay-at-home and then work-at-home mom for a year. Most of my friends did not
have children, and I was not able to be as active in the sex worker community
I'd loved for many years. I wanted to find people I could hang out with as my
whole self--mom, kinkster, and everything in-between; and I figured that if I
wanted that, other people did, too.
I moved to Las Cruces two years ago there was no active group. I was just
getting my feet wet, so to speak, in the kinky community and I wanted and
needed a community to relate to, so I started a group hoping others would join,
and they did. Now it's a family to me. I wouldn't give this group up because
it's a group full of my friends, friends I can be open and honest with, without
the fear of judgment or disdain. That's a beautiful thing in my world.
3)What do you feel is the biggest
pressure when it comes to being a leader?
Daddy Stan: Trying to keep a balance between making people
happy, and doing what is needed. For example, wanting to do certain activities
vs. what is lawful, or finding reliable venues vs. a few individuals personal
Miles: To make the next class/event/get-together,
etc, bigger and better. To smartly gather the resources to create what
the community (seems to) need. I don't feign to always KNOW what the community
needs, but my team and I work at paying attention and doing our best to create
what we feel people are hungry for. Gathering the basic resources (time, space,
money) to make all of those things happen is always a challenge. I don't want
our work to feel lackluster, and I don't want to rely on excuses of, "Oh,
that's all we could manage ..." which is often a way of saying "YOU,
community, weren't willing to pay for anything else/help with anything/put any
energy in." I want our work to inspire folks to say, "I will
volunteer, b/c going to this and fostering it is important to me"; or,
"I will make this event happen for me financially b/c I want to
learn"; or, "I see what you are doing, and I want to create
this--let's work together, let's move forward, let's grow."
That is all both the greatest challenge and the greatest joy
in being a community leader. I love that
challenge--I wake up in the morning energized by that challenge. What can we
make next? How will we do it? We know what we need--now how do we get there?
How do we best communicate? How do we inspire? Figuring
out how to sign a contract and place an order and such are the easy parts. The
invigorating part is inspiring the community to come together once that
contract is signed
Sue:For me the biggest pressure is to maintain my professionalism. I
get just as riled and agitated as everyone else, but it's my duty to maintain a
level head and be the voice of reason. There are times when, I'm sure you're
shocked to hear, I want to tell everyone to take a flying leap, but I don't,
because I have to put on my big girl panties and put out the fires, not start new
4)What is the one thing that you want
people to know about being a community leader?
Daddy Stan: It is not something to do for your own
purposes. If you do it, plan on making some people upset with you. As I said
earlier, we did not opt for leadership. The goals should always be for the
greater good and advancement of the community.
Miles: One thing to know about being a community
leader: this is an all or nothing proposition. Being a leader in this community
is not something you can do--successfully--halfway. This is a huge commitment.
It is better to honestly say, "No, I can't," than to think you can do
leaders are human. We cry, we put our panties on one leg at a time. We're not
perfect, and our capacity for ridicule and criticism is finite, just like
everyone else. I would ask everyone to step back and ask themselves, what would
I do if I were in that situation?
Thank you so very much to Daddy Stan, Sera Miles and Shelby Sue for your time and thoughtfulness in answering my questions!