There are weeks that take everything from you and weeks that
give everything back. This week gave me everything and more.
Saturday night we
went to an epic party and I got to watch my slave perform. I love watching her perform, I cried like a
baby. she had chosen two pieces that were perfect for the event and she was so
spot on! I was and still am so deeply proud. AND OF COURSE- I didn't get ONE
PICTURE! UGG!
Then I got to I play
with a gorgeous beauty. Since I didn't
have any toys I used a plastic fork. It was intense, amazing, and dizzying. She
was intoxicating, and I loved every minute of teasing her.
That night I also met one of the presenters for Spring Pan
and he agreed to collaborate with one of the presenters that we have for the April
11th event! WHAT!!! I was blown away by
his generosity. Cross collaboration is
just not something that we do a lot
here, so him being so willing to
do this warmed my heart and gave me the biggest smile!
Sunday I crashed and Monday was AEL. Before the AEL speaker
began, multiple people came up to me and offered items for the raffle for the
event on the 11th. I was so blown
away by what people were willing to
offer up to support
the event! Vintage art, a leather vest, paddles, scarves, jewelry, a package of whips, and SO MUCH MORE!
On top of that people brought items for me that night! It seemed like every time I turned around there was another amazing offer of generosity, another offer from someone who had very obviously put their time, thought, and effort into what they were giving.
There were so many people that came through and put themselves out there that I was almost in tears.
On top of that people brought items for me that night! It seemed like every time I turned around there was another amazing offer of generosity, another offer from someone who had very obviously put their time, thought, and effort into what they were giving.
There were so many people that came through and put themselves out there that I was almost in tears.
Besides the Spring Pan package so
generously donated, there was also a bad ass face mask- you have to see the
thing- it is AWESOME! I WANT IT!!!!
An amazingly beautiful collection of knives, candles, and
vases!
And a full violet wand set ( I
still can’t believe that) all donated that night.
I was so deeply touched by the generosity of everyone there.
It was overwhelming- it still is.
The topic that night was knife play it was really well done
and I learned a lot. So many mistakes I have made!!!
In fact EVERY mistake she mentioned was one
that I have made! I laughed so much and that
I even told the presenter “If I had this class ten years ago, I could have
saved A LOT on knives!!!”
The rest of the week was just as intense.
My book is done. Yep, it is ready to go. It is being formatted
and I got to see the cover art. I had an all day conservation with my editor- who
is AMAZING. She has taken care of everything, she has anticipated my needs,
done all of the foot work, worked with me and been beside me every step of the
way. She has held my hand when I was to frozen or scared to move forward, and
sent me loving reassurance when the whole thing sent me over the edge in levels
of “OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT this cant be happening!!! WHAT AM I DOING??????!!! ACKACKACAKCAKCK!!!”.
It came to me that
day- this book had waited for her. It
had waited for her hands, her thoughts, and her imprint on it before it would
become alive. The book knew what it was waiting for, even if I didn’t.
Then something happened, something that as I write this I can
feel myself going under, feel myself being immersed into the intensity of it
all. Have you ever had one of those conversations with your love where you find
out so much about them, where what they share takes the deepest part of their
trust, that you can feel the effort of them talking? That you can feel that the part of themselves
that they are allowing you to be a part of is so deep, so intimate, that the
moment in time will remain forever in your mind and heart?
Yes. I got to have
one of those, and I can only say- My love- thank you for trusting me, for opening up to me, for sharing with me your heart. I didn't think that it was possible for me to love you more, and yet here we are …..
After all of this, I just happened to open a letter- it was a check. A check that would
allow me to start printing the book this Saturday, instead of having to wait
for my next paycheck. I was and still am
overwhelmed with emotion.
At that point could not believe the last week. I could
barely believe all of this had happened. The event is booking quickly and wonderfully-
my book will be in print quicker than I ever thought possible, and forever I
will have in my heart and mind that day.
Holy cow. Is this
really my life? Or am I dreaming?