One day at a time

I wasn’t going to write today. I didn’t have it in me. My grey horse Rainey has come down with a life threatening infection in her joint.  I wait every day and watch her and give her the two required shots with the help of my slave.


At first I couldn't give her the shots, I would try and I just couldn’t, so we would all stand there until I could get it together enough.
My slave would feed her a treat then feed me an apple slice and then her again.
I can still lose her, I will know more by Tuesday. I can see the stress and tension in her body as she walks.
She has gotten used to the shots now, so even with a lot of the extra care and treats, she is tensing her muscles and making the needle harder to insert.


The other day she was so scared, she was shaking and trying her best to let me do the shots and look at her leg. She knows that it is bed, and she is so deeply scared. 
If the antibiotics don’t take, and the joint puncture doesn’t close she will have to go down. 
I am not ready for that.

So I wait every day. I watch, I hope, I pray. I try not to obsess over her tiredness, and her stress.
Today was the day that she was supposed to be put down if there was no improvement. There has been enough improvement that day has been moved to Tuesday- depending on what happens between now and then.

So we are waiting and waiting.

That is today. That is tomorrow, that is Sunday.

My slave sent me this:

It made me cry- I hope that it touches you to.





http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uwSbiWkY15I