BDSM and the Medical Community

One of the classes that I am taking is on how culture affects ones view of medical care and services. How culture can effect, delay, or stop treatment, even to the point of death. Primarily the class is dealing with cultures were the people don’t speak  the primary language of the medical  staff, and when  things like eye contact ,  touch, or gender of the health care  worker can make or break  the patients acceptance of what is being said about their health  or disease, as well  as their follow up care such  as medications, follow up  appointments, dressing changes and lifestyle changes that sometimes need to occur with  diagnoses.   

As I read these books and articles  I think about the mass amounts of transgendered, GLBTQI, and BDSM folks out there who won’t seek  medical care because of the medical  communities  current views, and how in essence we as a BDSM culture are a different culture then the vanilla folk. What we view as normal  and functional translates in the medical  community as  the reportable offenses of domestic violence, sexual  assault,  battery, and on  and on.

So how do we as a culture walk that line of being honest with our health care professionals and educating them without getting ourselves and our partners sent to jail? How do we know when we should be speaking out about what is going on in our relationships,  and when it is best to just remain quiet?

It is my belief that any sex related question is on the table for health care workers, everything from deep throat, to multiple partner sex, to varied types of penetration of any orifice. If the Dr can’t handle the question, becomes uncomfortable talking openly about sex concerns, or changes the subject without giving resources, it is time to get a new Dr.

This isn’t 1813, it is 2013 and Dr's need to be able to communicate openly and honestly about sex and sexual concerns, and if they aren’t able to answer your questions, they need to have resources for other people that can.

BDSM is one of those gray lines that even we as a culture sometimes have a difficulty in determining what protocol is and what is abuse. So I think it is unrealistic for us to expect the medical   community to catch up to what we can’t define.

Play that leaves marks is a tricky area for the medical l community. Consider this- someone comes into their Dr with marks but questions regarding another medical condition. The Dr asks what happened; the patent says “it was consensual” the Dr notes the marks in the chart as well as the patient’s response and moves on to other parts of the assessment. Down the line that person is looking to get out of their relationship maybe have full custody of the kids and the Dr is subpoenaed for physical evidence of what was viewed during that exam. How far will the Dr saying “it was consensual” fly in a court of law then? So the Dr looks at losing their license for not reporting possible abuse. Ugly but possible.

Sometimes I get lucky and I have a chance to talk about BDSM to other health care practitioners. I stress that is usually consensual and pre negotiated but I see the confusion and resistance on their faces. On the job the topic will come up from time to time (thanks Rhiannon the singer) and I will talk fairly openly but with some reservation about BDSM versus abuse. I already openly discuss being poly,   being gay, some issues in the GLBTQI community and sex workers, so the leap into BDSM is easier for me, I think.

But I understand where the medical community is coming from when it comes to the gray line of BDSM and how it can  conflict with  their responsibility to report suspected abuse; it is after all a felony for a medical professional to not report abuse.

So I think -just like all things- this will  take time, and  right now we are in that interesting phase of media  acceptance putting us into the social  conscience, and starting discussions, the place where people in general are getting to know the terminology which is always the start to a better understanding of each other. Other things will follow, and who knows what it will mean for us as a culture?  

Being able to go into the Dr and say “those whip marks are from last night, but what I would really like you to look at…..”

How cool would that be?