It is a powerful
question isn’t it? Do public play parties
limit our skill? I think that public play parties offer so much good- I am by
no means here belittling what they offer. Public play parties are an amazing
venue to watch others, to see what else is being done, to learn, network, ask
questions, meet new people and compare toys of all kinds. It is also a place for growth, finding out
where your skill level is in comparison to others and that safe space for so
many to come and experience their firsts. Their first time seeing or having a
flogging, their first time witnessing aftercare, their first time watching a caning,
and getting that feeling way down deep in their crotch. I love those firsts.
However, because
of the nature of public play parties, there are limits. Public play parties are
about protecting the host house, the organizer, and providing a safe place for
newbie’s to come. So often that means a limit on the types of play that can
happen, such as blood, full body impact, wrestling, wax, suspension and sometimes sex. It also means that there
are limits on time as far as equipment. Just
to be clear here, for the most part I agree with these limits in public play. I
agree with not splattering blood over someone else’s walls and then sitting on
their furniture to rub it into the couch. Wax can be very messy and extensive to
clean, full body play and wrestling takes a lot of room without stuff that
breaks in it, and suspension takes specialized equipment. As far as sex, I am very careful whose sexual energy I allow
around me and my slave, and I don’t enjoy going to parties where I feel unsafe by the sexual vibe.
Those limits do not mean that public, open,
everyone can come parties aren’t extremely important. When I first came into
this community I learned tons of valuable information just by watching others. I
learned so much about what I could do differently, better, stronger, how I
could increase my skill, and what other toys are out there. I loved that phase of my leaning, and I am grateful
for it. I still love going to public play parties because I still learn, push
myself, watch, and grow from others.
But like all
learning there comes that point where you grown and grow and outgrow some
things. I am in no way saying that I have outgrown learning in a public play arena.
What I am saying is that where I want to grow is sometimes restricted from public
play. I really want to get better at piercing and cutting, and I would like to
greater experience more total body rough play and heavy impact. I would love to
learn full body suspension safely on
bigger bodies.
I know that
ultimately my learning is my responsibility, and that it is my job to seek out others that can teach
me what I want to learn, as well
as create the place for me to do that. But I just got to thinking, do we
as a community become lazy when we don’t strive to enhance or strengthen our skills?
And is that influenced by being where we want to be in our familiar groups when
it comes to public play? Do we, as a public play community, push each other to
be more skilled and more daring in our play? Do we take advantage of the
amazing amount of skill that exists in our community? Or have we relaxed and
said that we are fine with our skill, no need to take it forward?
I do think that
to a certain extent public play parties can limit a communities learning and growth
as a whole because of the limitations that need to happen. I also feel that if
we as a community are not careful, we can become extremely comfortable and then
stagnant in what we are doing and learning.
Public play parties
are wonderful things, and we are lucky to have them, as they did not always
exist. At one point you had to know someone and they had to approve you getting
in and so on….. So being able to look online and say I would love to go to that
play party is a novelty. Every time you send in your RSVP you should remember that
this is a privilege. That many have never had that privilege, and so many have
never been able to experience public play. But
don’t let where you are in public be the end of your learning, keep striving for that next skill, that next piece
of information that can unlock that next
piece for you. The opening of that door is powerful and amazing, be grateful,
and honor those that have come before you by pushing yourself forward.
There is
always more to learn.
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