This week we had the pleasure of being asked to present at
AEL on a panel with some amazing people. There were three other people beside
my slave and I, and we all had completely different prospective on the topics.
It was really interesting to listen to the others on the panel talk about their
experiences, beliefs and desires. At the end of the topic there was one question
that was asked, but as we were out of time, it went unanswered, and I thought
that I would tackle it here.
The question was “Should
there be a title in New Mexico?” Basically one of the other panel members and I
groaned in response. But over the next day or so I really thought about it.
I think that if New Mexico would open another title that it
would only be if the title itself had a purpose. If the titleholder was
required to hold at least one fundraiser every three months, if they had to incorporate
at least 4 different community groups into each fundraiser to provide across
the board representation, if they had to teach a certain amount of classes over
the year and account for every dollar raised, and send out a monthly report to
the community at large through Fetlife. I could see having a title again.
But otherwise what would be the point?
Seriously? What is
the point? To have a title just to say we have a title- big deal. And hat means what and does what
for our community? It affects this community how? I am not ANTI- Title. I am
ANTI- Purposeless.
There is a lot of planning, time, effort, energy, thought,
love and devotion that goes into a title and its holders. People that dedicated
themselves to holding a contest are passionate about it, and they also take
quite the beating for it. The complaint list is always 3 times longer than the
compliment list. It is hours of work.
So I say sure, a title in New Mexico could be a really good thing. But have it
come with a meaning, a purpose, and accountability. Make it be about more than
how someone looks, and whether or not that person can travel. Make it about
being a representative that does things in and for OUR community. That can
bring together all kinds of people, someone who mobilizes, inspires and is a
lightning rod for others.
I can see where a title can do all sorts of good things- but
only if it is formulated that away. Otherwise might as well stand in a group
and throw out a sash and whoever catches it gets to try to remember it for the
next year.
If we are going to have a representative – how would you
like them to represent you?
i was hoping to learn why "a title in New Mexico could be a really good thing.". that might be the issue.... a title holder needs community support
ReplyDeleteim not trying to be antagonistic. i really dont get it
ReplyDeleteHello Sarah! I am glad that you asked! I dont find that antagonistic at all. Title holders in Albuquerque have - from my experience - always had tremendous community support. When the title holder themselves have put in the work to this community this community responds with tons of love. So the community isn't the issue.
ReplyDeleteFor the last title that NM had the only thing that they have required is that the title holder travel to represent NM. This is a good thing because if the title holder does it right it can attract big names to come down here to speak and present.
It can be a not so good thing because this community does not see the title holder, and if the title holder does not touch base with the community on a regular basis- then the title holder and the community loose touch.
In my opinion where a title holder can be a really good thing is IF the title holder is required to organize and work within our community, to be visible, to raise funds for charity, to be a representation of us to others who may 1) be interested in BDSM but didn't know we had a community here. 2) be a go -to person who can be called on to represent us in some media 3) work within the community to create occasions for the separate groups to work together. (Someone may not want to participate in a show for another person, but if that person is a title holder, they would be more likely to say yes.)
A lot of other community have title holders and use their title holders to network to bring others into town to speak, present, and teach.
A titleholder can be wonderful if they are doing outreach for our community and working within our community to bring people together at the same time.
Does that make sense?
Yes that makes sense. Sort of a political representative... a community rep.
ReplyDeleteYes- to the point where even at events people will ask if you have a title holder.
ReplyDelete