Retired

Hello all.

Thank you, to everyone who has followed my blog for the last 5 or so years. 

You have taught me and uplifted me. 

I love you all.


Leather Bear Tails Retired 04/08/2017.

SPRING PAN IS HERE!!!!!

What are you doing sitting here and reading my blog, when you should be packing and wonderfully anticipating tonight’s beginning of SPRING PAN! 

http://nmleatherleague.com/spring-pandemonium-2017/

Take a look  at the classes ,  volunteered and picked from  your community!

Witchcraft and BDSM: Aftercare as Ritual

I Want It All: How to Negotiate for What you Want

Us Littles

Building Online Profiles and Netiquette

The  “What makes you Tick?” Panel

Playing While Disabled

The Art of Erotic Flogging: From Beginner to Advanced

Exploring Degradation and Psychological Sadism

Gender Rebels: Navigating Gender Identity in a BDSM Context

Play parties,  Raffles, Host rooms from  your favorites local  groups, and meet and greet!

MY NEXT PUBLISHED BOOK IS NOW AVAILABLE!!!!!!!!

It was a huge breakthrough for me to write and then publish “M/S for the Rest of Us”.

It was a dream come true and still feels somewhat surreal.

The feedback that I have gotten on M/s   from people who I have sent it to for a review has been intense for me.  It has all been overwhelmingly positive and powerful. 

Here is a link: 

http://www.lulu.com/us/en/shop/k-e-enzweiler/ms-for-the-rest-of-us/paperback/product-22991847.html

So today, the third book that I have written, and the second book that I have gotten published is available.

 It is called   “Nurse V Nurse” 

 

It can be a little hard to find because there are a lot of Nurse V---- out there.

So here are the links. 

 http://www.lulu.com/shop/a-dhaie/nurse-v-nurse/paperback/product-22991855.html

 https://www.amazon.com/Nurse-V-Dhaie/dp/1365516970

It will  also  be available   in  e form soon!

I am so excited!!!!!!!!

Thank you everyone for all of your love and support!

Redefining Dangerous

Politics can be a very hard thing. But what is it really? It is a belief or a set of beliefs that make us all different.  Nothing divides us or unites us so deeply and strongly as our personal passionate beliefs. Not just the wants that get us through the day to day.  Like - ok vanilla creamer in the morning coffee instead of mocha creamer.  Or ok, tuna at lunch and not turkey.  Not those. (Not even if you are REALLY passionate about turkey.) 

I am talking the biggies. The hard core, visceral beliefs that separate us as people. Those things are usually based in the concepts of morality, justice, and what we truly and honestly believe is right.

Things in particular to BDSM:

Do you believe it is ok to drink or use before, during, or after play? 

Do you believe it is OK to blacklist someone out of the community based on a personal issue? (I.e. they aren’t dangerous, or bad, you just don’t like them.)

Do you believe it is a right and just thing to warn others about groups that you feel are predatory and dangerous? 

Do you believe in inclusion, exclusion, or both?

 How do you define someone as dangerous? 

Let’s take the last one here.  How do you define someone as dangerous? 

I think as a rule we can all say the same basic four things that can apply to both tops and bottoms: 

Skews consent

Manipulates coercion

Isolation

Withholding of affection and/or support to achieve control 

Blah blah blah, we all get that. 

But what else makes someone dangerous?

What if it is as simple as treating people badly to the point of running them out?  

You could argue that this has nothing to do with BDSM. That they most likely treat people badly everywhere they go. 

But I argue that because BDSM is a small community, and because BDSM is a major part of identity, that the running of people out of a community is perhaps more dangerous then the unskilled player. 

They are, in essence, step by step removing support systems from someone who, may deeply need it, and in turn may accidentally hurt themselves or others.  

Creating unsafe space for people is deeply damaging, not just to those that leave because of it, but to those that stay and fight for some sort of balance after it.

Dangerous is easy to define when someone carries a scar, or loses a finger.  It is much harder to define when the psyche gets scarred.  The emotions get jacked to high hell, and the sense of safety is compromised.  

But I argue, that a scarred psyche and compromised safety  are  just as, if not more, dangerous then a lost finger. 

Lead with an open heart. OR not at all.

Lead with an open  heart.  OR not at all.

I wrote this in my last blog.  It is a modified quote from Ghandi. 

The actual quote is:

“In doing something, do it with love or never do it at all.” 

I have found that since last  November this quote, that I have kept to  my heart like my blood that flows through  it, I am  not able to  do.

I am angry, bitter, judgmental, and unable to let love lead. Truly unable to  lead. 

To me, letting love lead means putting the self aside, and being there for the other person - where they are, not where you think they should be. It means me saying- these are the other groups that you should look into- even if I personally am not welcome there.  It means acceptance and humility.  It means putting aside my wants and needs so that another can grow in their BDSM, their way. 

Being a leader is only partly about putting on events. It is bigger than that.  It is about reaching people, giving them that hope, and helping them grow. It is about putting you away- and not just listening, but truly hearing them. Putting away your own judgments by asking questions and hearing the answers. For them, not for you. Opening the door, and holding their hands that first few steps. With  the promise to  be there after they have found their footing.

And that applies to whether they are brand new, or 50 years in and growing into something new.  

These are the parts of leadership that I truly feel make leaders worth following. 

This is a part of me that I lost in November.  I am still here, by my fingernails.  I will still work behind the scenes, do what I can. 

But I truly feel that, as even though my love and I continue to have a solid M/s relationship.  That I cannot give to the community what it deserves. 

I removed my leather honor patch.  

I may put it back on again, when I feel I have something to offer worth honoring.