Redefining Dangerous

Politics can be a very hard thing. But what is it really? It is a belief or a set of beliefs that make us all different.  Nothing divides us or unites us so deeply and strongly as our personal passionate beliefs. Not just the wants that get us through the day to day.  Like - ok vanilla creamer in the morning coffee instead of mocha creamer.  Or ok, tuna at lunch and not turkey.  Not those. (Not even if you are REALLY passionate about turkey.) 

I am talking the biggies. The hard core, visceral beliefs that separate us as people. Those things are usually based in the concepts of morality, justice, and what we truly and honestly believe is right.

Things in particular to BDSM:

Do you believe it is ok to drink or use before, during, or after play? 

Do you believe it is OK to blacklist someone out of the community based on a personal issue? (I.e. they aren’t dangerous, or bad, you just don’t like them.)

Do you believe it is a right and just thing to warn others about groups that you feel are predatory and dangerous? 

Do you believe in inclusion, exclusion, or both?

 How do you define someone as dangerous? 

Let’s take the last one here.  How do you define someone as dangerous? 

I think as a rule we can all say the same basic four things that can apply to both tops and bottoms: 

Skews consent

Manipulates coercion

Isolation

Withholding of affection and/or support to achieve control 

Blah blah blah, we all get that. 

But what else makes someone dangerous?

What if it is as simple as treating people badly to the point of running them out?  

You could argue that this has nothing to do with BDSM. That they most likely treat people badly everywhere they go. 

But I argue that because BDSM is a small community, and because BDSM is a major part of identity, that the running of people out of a community is perhaps more dangerous then the unskilled player. 

They are, in essence, step by step removing support systems from someone who, may deeply need it, and in turn may accidentally hurt themselves or others.  

Creating unsafe space for people is deeply damaging, not just to those that leave because of it, but to those that stay and fight for some sort of balance after it.

Dangerous is easy to define when someone carries a scar, or loses a finger.  It is much harder to define when the psyche gets scarred.  The emotions get jacked to high hell, and the sense of safety is compromised.  

But I argue, that a scarred psyche and compromised safety  are  just as, if not more, dangerous then a lost finger.