Yea, Asshole, I'm taking about you

We are hosting this round of AEL play parties and loving it! I enjoy the process from beginning to end. I even like the reading of the rules.  It grounds me in a way. It gets people thinking about their behavior and it reminds us all that we are responsible to and for each other. That means all of us, no matter how many years in.  I have heard people complain about the reading of the rules over the years. Roll their eyes, bitch about how they are SOOOO OVERDONE and they take SOOOO LONG.

The only thing I can think when I hear this is that if people would treat others right in the first place, then we wouldn’t need to read the rules.  But we are not that lucky.   

I honestly don’t know how Whipdaddy does it and maintains his sanity. Even though the rules are very specific, they are still broken. Over and over again. 

The same sense of entitlement that a person feels that allows them to justify not listening to the rules, is the same sense of entitlement that allows them to not listen to someone saying no. They know better, the rules don’t apply to them, listening to behavioral expectations is beneath them. They are the exception that know the one true way! 

Now – just so you are aware- these are all things that my slave and I have experienced personally, or have been present when they have occurred in other host homes, recently. As in within the last year.  People who say things that are offensive or derogatory including (but not limited to) the “N” word, people who interrupt scenes, interrupt aftercare, touch collars, don’t take no for an answer. People who break things and don’t tell the hosts, people who out others in public (has happened to me more than once at my job). 

These things still happen. So next time you roll your eyes at the rules, stop what you are doing and actually listen to them. Consider where they came from, and more importantly understand that these offenses still happen.  If you think yourself above the rules, then there is a good chance that the rules are there because of you in the first place. 

Just saying.

The other thing that the reading of the rules does is create a chain of command.  If you are paying attention, there is no doubt who you go to in the event something happens. The interesting thing there is that people don’t use it.  Instead of handling the issue right there right then, they wait. Sometimes a day, sometimes more, to tell the AEL leadership about what happened. 

I didn’t understand that for a long time, until something happened to me. It was a breaking of the rules. The very explicit rules.

 I got confused as to what to do next, what was the right thing. I didn’t want to ruin the feel of the event, so I just left. On the way home I called Whipdaddy and let him know what was up.  I figured the quicker he knew the better, and it all ended up alright. But I couldn’t deal with it right then. I needed to get out before I was able to talk. It was all handled, and handled well, but now I understand better why people wait. 

So next time they are reading the rules and you are too busy bitching to listen, just know this, when we as a community talk about how to spot a dangerous player, we will be talking about you.