What you say matters

I love it when I hear  a quote or an idea that makes me stop in my tracks and think. It is one of those a-ha moments that I love and that many times  reminds me of  how closely knit we all really are.
So here are  some of my favorites:

I was at a work meeting and my  boss was talking about productivity and company goals when he said this:
" A person cannot hold an  ideal in their  head with an action  that is contrary until one or the other must change." T.G.

And instead of thinking about company goals and productivity I instantly thought of BDSM and this community. About how people come into BDSM, and how all of us  have something in common- in that we choose our lives and relationships because we desire to have our actions meet our ideals.  For some those ideals are about  service or submission,  for others it can be about domination  or control.  
For others this quote can  describe how people can get out of an abusive, neglectful  or unfulfilling relationship. The ideal being an understanding of their self worth and their actions being in contrast to the support of that, leading to a change.


There was one my mom told me when I was in my teens. I was having a really rough go of things and she came into my room, sat down  and said the most honest thing that I carry with me still:
 "I can't promise you that things are going to get better, but I can promise you that they will change."



I think of this now as I look  at how far the community has come, how much it has changed, and how change brings the optimism of better.  Not the delivery of better, just the hope. 


There is a thingy on my desk that reads from author unknown:
"You can't build a reputation on what you are going to do."

This is one of my biggies. Although intellectually I know that people will see what they want and need  to see no  matter what a person  does. That ultimately how I am  seen has more to do with the other persons  needs and filters then it will ever do with my intent or actions.  But I hold onto this because I need it for me.

I need to feel that even though I cant control how others feel about what I do- what I feel about what I do-  my reputation with myself- needs to have purpose. 



The one that I remember form that movie with Ben Kingsley when  he played Gandhi. I don't know if Gandhi ever said it, but Ben  was sure powerful when he did:
 "Do  it with  joy in your heart or not at all."

I use this when locking my slaves collar. When  talking about service, and when thinking about my own projects and leather journey.




I think that what amazes me is that the power of words and the intention of them can  be global, that we are there too in those thoughts and quotes and words.

I wonder was Gandhi leather?


Then there are the things that I have come up with and tell myself frequently:
"I can  do this, I can  do anything for --- hours."
"No Worries."
"What is the worst that can happen?"
"Well- that sucks real bad..."
"Yea- when pink monkeys fly out of my butt."
"How's that workin for ya?"

And my all time favorite:

"well........shit......." 
 
 
 

 







 



 






 

 



  




 
 

  
   








 
 












 

 

BDSM and Spirituality

OK I am just going to say it.

I do not understand people who say that BDSM is spiritual for them. I honestly  just don't get it. As I think about it, that is probably because I view spirituality in  pretty narrow terms.  

For me spirituality is about a personal internal connection with  a higher power. For me BDSM is about a personal internal connection to another person, or persons. So I have trouble understanding how someone can view BDSM  activities as part of their  spiritual path.

I understand  that suffering and self infliction of pain have been used by people for centuries of all religions and spiritual beliefs. These acts help the person deal with  emotional pain, guilt, show devotion, act to purify, or show empathy to their ancestors or spiritual and religious icons.   
I get that using pain to create an intense psychological and emotional space for some is a gateway for transcendence.

I view what those people do to be an  intentional personal self inflicted activity used specifically for the intensifying of  their spiritual connection.

It is hard for me to take that thought process and understand how a person can equate those things with modern day BDSM. 

I am not saying that play cannot create transcendence, clarity, and connection, it can  and does. What I am saying is that when I play I am looking for that experience with who I am playing with, and my spirituality is separate from that.  ( Even though it is common for my slave to scream for god....) 

Playing (no matter whether I am topping or bottoming) does not make me more spiritually in touch, neither does tantra, nor does my commitment and execution of my Mastery. Those things  do however, being me closer to my slave. 

So I am going to chop this up to yet another thing in  life that I do not understand. Like those people on Doomsday Preppers,  or people that marry their dogs.