How much privacy does a slave have? (REPOST)

A few months back I was looking for blog ideas and I received some great suggestions!  One of them was the question “How much privacy does a slave have?”  Thank you to MyNameIsMine!!!!!

The easy answer is none.

 The more complex answer is as much as the Master decides they have- which in essence is none because ultimately the Master can take away that privacy at any moment. 

It is important to keep in mind that there are different types of privacy, I tend to lump them into three different categories: privacy of things, privacy of the body and privacy of the mind. 

As far as privacy of things I have no interest in riffling through my slaves stuff, monitoring her correspondence, or listening in on her phone calls. she does have her own room, were she keeps her belly dance attire and her herbs and sundries.  That room is hers, she can care for it as she sees fit, and I lay no claim to it.  I have no interest in that, and in fact, feel a certain amount of pride that I can provide that space for her. I know her email passwords, and have access to all correspondence, but don’t use it unless I am looking for something- a phone number, directions, or the like.  And I will tell her that I am accessing her account and which one.  

Why?  Because my slave likes to buy me presents when we have a little extra coin- and sometimes she will need to access things herself to keep me from finding my next present. I have no issue getting presents, so this does not bother me. On the flip side, she also has access to all of my email as well. It isn’t uncommon that I will need her to contact someone for me -as me. 

As far as bodily privacy, my preference is that she is nude, especially during chores, so she spends most of her time that way.  I REALLY love that…. I also track her medications because I order then before they run out, so I know what she takes, how much and how often.

That leaves privacy of the mind, which in my opinion is the only kind that matters. The rest of privacy is relatively easy- it is space, stuff, geography, tangible, and visible. But not so with emotional privacy- that is a huge risk. That is where the heart of the slave lies.

 Emotional and intellectual privacy can be very invasive when taken away because it is such a risk to let someone know what you are really feeling and thinking.  It risks everything. It means that when I ask her what she is thinking and feeling, that she tells me, even when she doesn’t want to, or is afraid to say those things. Afraid of my reaction, afraid of what I will think of her, afraid of what she will think of herself once the words are out of her mouth.

The issue of privacy is a very personal one for every Master and for every slave. It has to do with where that Master feels their connection to power; do they feel empowered by having control over the slaves stuff? Over the slaves body, or being a part of the slaves mind?  For some Masters, stuff is enough- they get off on controlling everything from what the slave reads, has access to, and can use in the home. I once heard a Master talk about how their power came from limiting and approving each correspondence that the slave had- from their phone calls, to email- to letters. For others their power comes from the slave’s body, this can  include everything from what the slave eats, wears and how they move.

But for me those things are the window dressing. For me, what is the point of telling my slave what to wear, when what I really need to know is that she is struggling with how she views herself as a slave, as a leader and as a wife. 

Window dressing…….  better on windows.

Albuquerque Masters Group

In August I start a new project  a Master and slave group in Albuquerque.  I am really excited about it.  Just to be clear here, I will not be starting a MAsT chapter, although I support MAsT international, I am not interested in currently taking on the responsibility of their requirements to be able to have and maintain a group. I am going a little more independent at this time, not to say that might change, but for right now this is what works for me.

The group will be meeting once a month, with activities alternating month by month. On one month there will be a discussion group, this is for Masters, prospective Masters, ex Masters, and those who are Master curious only, no slaves will be allowed at the discussion groups. At the beginning of the meeting everyone will be handed a card and everyone will write a question that they want answered, it is anonymous, and can be asked to a person or to the group.  We will beat that to death, then pull another question from the hat.  I am currently scoping out meeting places and have three hopefuls at this point which also keep the group meetings free. 

There will be guidelines such  as:  respect others experiences  and ups and downs, listen  without interrupting  (I will need help on that one)  understand that no one has the one way, understand that everyone fails and everyone succeeds, no one Master has all the answers, and not one Master has he ability to  train every slave.

On the opposite months will be potluck get togethers for Masters and slaves, singles and those in M/s relationships of any dynamic, the M/s curious and the M/s seeking as well as Dominants looking to try new protocols or are Master and slave curious when it comes to their requests of their slaves and submissives. 

The get togethers are going to be at host houses and will be set up for Masters and slaves to practice public protocol, try out new ideas, work on strengthening protocol, or learning from others with specialties. The idea is that when Masters and slaves pay for events they don't necessarily want to try a new protocol or use the time at the event focusing on trying something new that may or may not work for them in the long run.   

For example let’s say that a Master and slave want to try the “don’t talk unless the slave has permission to speak protocol” - instead of paying for an event and trying it out this is a chance to try it out to see if it works for  them and be able to focus on that part of the slaves training and the Masters experience without it being at the cost of an event. Or let’s say the Master wants the slave to be naked in service in public, this is the place to try that, or if the Master or Masters wants to put their slave through their public paces while serving multiple people. 

It is also a chance for us to learn from  each other, there are a few Masters that  know a lot about a higher protocol in  service, just kicking it up a notch, so  being able to talk with them and put my slave though a new way of serving excited me a lot! And being able to do to  try these new things “hands on” excites me even more!

  

There will be guidelines here as well:  no drinking, no drugs, no intoxication of any kind. This is not a play party, although  skills will be allowed to be shown  and taught upon request, no  touching what isn’t yours,  no requesting service from slaves that are not yours, inappropriate, impolite, or otherwise questionable behavior will lead to  that person  being asked to leave then  put on  probation  before being allowed back.

My goal is to create a stronger Master and slave community and network in Albuquerque. Free places where we can learn and grow from each other, as well as support  and help each other navigate through our relationships and our identities. There are some things that only other Masters ad slaves understand, some things that only single Masters and slaves know about expectations and relationships that other parts of the community, although  supportive, don’t really get. 

 Over time depending on how the group grows there may end up being an official event, weekend, or play party. But time will tell on those things.

I am really excited and will be posting all over when I have the meeting place and date set.  I do love a new project!!!!!

Although I will not be starting a MAsT chapter, if you are wanting  more information on MAsT International their website can be found here:  http://www.mast.net/

PERV May 25th

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Submissive and slave men speak

I have had the great honor of interviewing two men  regarding their slave and submissive lifestyles. I have always thought that it is a great risk for men to access and understand their submissive and slave nature in our society where machismo and brutality is so prized. Thank you so much to Lady Golden and Saint for allowing me to ask their wonderful partners questions!

Here are the bios of the wonderful men that were so  very patient in answering my questions!  
 



slave lou has had the honor of living in 24/7 service to Lady Golden for around 5 years now. Few who know me would consider me to be all that submissive. I get a great deal of pleasure and pride in providing exceptional service to my Lady.
 



My name is Chance Lee McCravey. I entered the scene in summer 2010, where I met the love of my life. I identify as a boy/fox. I like to be referred to as Chance. I am only referred to as Fox by Saint St. James, my Althair (Daddy). I enjoy providing my time and resources to the community. On my off time; I enjoy reading novels, knitting, and crocheting.

  1) What misconceptions do you feel that people have about submissive men?

sl:

A – That submissive men are weak. It takes a great deal of will and personal strength to submit to another.
B – That they have no minds and need someone else to think for them. Many if not most submissive men are quite capable and successful.
C – That submissive men have issues making decisions. Yea right. In order to provide exceptional service many decisions are made on a daily basis.


 C:   
Some of the misconceptions of submissive men that I have come across is that the submissives are just mindless drones and they no longer have any opinions for themselves. Another is that many people are not sure the difference between a boy and a slave, for me a boy is someone who retains an ability to question and ask clarifications of his Althair, slaves I have seen have much less autonomy in this regard.






2) What brought you to understanding that you are a submissive and you wanted that in your relationships?

sl: 
It's all about service. Service to self and service to others. It has been my experience that living alone can lead to a certain comfort and even contentment, but the path for my personal happiness is very closely tied to how well I provide service. The idea of an unequal partnership got me many odd looks, but if I take care of you and you take care of me, everyone wins.

C: 
I  came to the understanding that I am submissive because I enjoy doing certain duties for others. In my relationships, it seems to just happen automatically.




  

3) What do you expect from a dominant partner?

sl: 
They need to have their act together. They have to be sane. It helps if they have similar interests to myself. If they happen to be a 5'4” redhead with pert breasts that’s a major plus. They need to be able to make me feel safe and secure.



C:


What I expect from a dominant partner is someone who provides for me, defends me in dire situations, listens to my opinions, and cares about me. I am also very picky about what I consider a dominant, I look for people who have experienced being a submissive themselves and who are not afraid to be themselves.

           

  

4)  Do you find that there is a lot of competition between male submissives if so how does that manifest?

sl: 

I I suspect men would compete for just about anything. It's kinda what we do. Dominant females are probably the rarest breed in our community. Submissive males may be one of the largest nationwide. It has been my observation that the most successful slaves are the ones who took the time and energy to learn skills that are useful to the dominant female they are serving or wish to serve. Butler school.... who knew. If you want to get played with you have to find some way of differentiate yourself from the crowd.


C:

I see a lot of male submissive s competing for the dominants affection and approval. For example, being the first to bring the dominant his/her food during a meal. On the other hand I see many submissive s who are interested in working together for the betterment of their family and their community.





Thank  you again to Lady golden, slave lou, Saint, and Chance!