PERV, Party, Lap dances, labia vegatables

I am on such a high from last Saturday. It was one of those days that seemed magical, and wonderful and so very memorable, mostly.  I had worked the night before and was going on little sleep, but the adrenaline of the day was all that I needed! 

 On Saturday afternoon I presented at PERV. This was a dream come true on many levels. First off I love talking about Master and slave relationships that is my joy and my heart.  There were about 15 people there to start and about 11 stayed for the actual talk. It was an advanced crowd that had a lot to offer and I was so amazingly surprised that people were also very candid and open. At the beginning of every PERV is an hour of going over general rules and protocols of group and play etiquette.

Sera and I presented that together, I enjoyed that part, and the one place that got really interesting was when the issue of safe words came up. I listened as people talked about whether or not they use safe words, and the same sort of story kept returning. People would talk about how everyone should use safe words- but they personally don’t play with safe words. At one point after someone talked about how they had just met someone, didn’t negotiate and didn’t play with safe words- but it was the most intense scene they ever had- I interrupted the conversation and said “the conversation about safe words is the same every time- people will say you should use safe words because you are a pussy, I am a bad ass so I don’t use safe words. What safe words really boil down to is how much communication you want during a scene.”   Honestly, my slave and I don’t negotiate and we don’t use safe words, but they are always there if we need them and if they are used we both   know what they are. 

After the rules and protocols we had a break and I was given the floor to present on M/s for the rest of U/us.  I covered the 4 pillars of training the slave, understanding punishment on an emotional, chemical and biological level, the un- trainable slave and the un-trainable Master, and looking at the long term. The people there were amazing; they all had so much to give and were really engaged.  As a group they were open and comfortable enough to talk about those things that didn’t go well, their histories/her stories, and their personal and emotional candor really was something to experience.  

Meanwhile, the whole time, my slave was there looking beautiful, extraordinary and being her loving and supportive self.  This was not an easy thing because I was using her as the example of when things don’t always go right. That is never easy for her, but she was gracious, and because was so wonderful and open to be used as an example the crowd felt open. Her response to my talking about her allowed people to feel safe about talking about themselves.  That was really a gift. 

After PERV people stayed and talked and there was much excitement about July when the Masters group starts- but that is another blog :) When we left PERV the plan was to go see a friend for their birthday and then head up to the NMFL play party. 

That was the plan.

My slave and I got to the party early, and   had a blast helping in the kitchen and talking smack and really enjoying ourselves. When people started to arrive they were so festive and joyful. Then my leather family came and we had a blast over by the grill. We were talking and laughing and interspacing that with deep conversations about organizing and events, and race. It was one of those conversations with just the right balance of love, support, and seriousness.   

Then it happened- my first glass of wine. It was my weakness- Moscato. 

Ohh—as soon as I guzzled that first glass, I knew- game on. At that point I turned to my slave and said "honey, I am drinking tonight."

Now just to so that you know- I am not a drinker,  we don’t keep it in the house, and overall  I feel that the  social emphasis on  drinking  is an  American  embarrassment. I also do not play or have sex impaired. Ever.  Ok wait- I used to have sex impaired and I probably wouldn’t be opposed to doing it again, but as a general rule, it is not my interest.

So, the wine was flowing and I was having a blast! I gave out a lot of lap dances that night and a few nipple dances.  I would take big plates of food around to the crowd and offer it up with the luscious sway of my hips! I circled my hips around WhipDaddys meat (we were working the grill!!) and had people reach for my lady corn!  But the real fun came in the form of the labia vegetables.  That is…. in between lap dances…..

After wards I enjoyed very much so giving the birthday girl her 30 licks- with my tongue, and a little biting! Maybe a little hard on the biting, but as a bottle and a half of Moscato and Riesling as a precursor- I think I did pretty well. Hehehehe!!!

Then I flung myself onto people and made crude remakes about how everyone is a little "het" when they drink, among I am sure other things that somehow have faded into a drunken background.  If I remember correctly there were multiple requests for male strippers- I figured we had already seen some naked women- let’s even the playing field. I was denied that though. Not even a shirt off, or a belly button……

Whew!

I had a blast, even though my poor slave was on edge and watching over my safety every minute. When I drink I get VERY amorous-  I mean  I could fuck  a bar stool, the pool table, and the ID checker before hitting the bar doors, and then  be ready for more when I get home-  that kind of  amorous. So in between that and my already aggressive nature, it can make for a pretty explosive combination.  So my slave watched to make sure that even though I was impaired that others didn’t take advantage of that, or me. It was a hard job for her, stressed her out a lot, but even she even admitted that she was having so much fun at the party that she didn’t want to leave.  

The next morning I woke up full of smiles and hang over free. 

What a day.

PERV May 25th

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Tons of SHIT TO DO!!!!!!!

Last month was New Mexico Fetlifers four year anniversary. When read the post I wanted to take a few days before I said anything. I wanted to really think about   what it was that NMFL has brought into my life and write a heartfelt reply.

 

So that got me to thinking about all of the things that I have experienced because of someone else s organizational efforts and how lucky I have been that Albuquerque has such strong groups that consistently produce these events. 

From AEL to NMFL to the individuals that run their private groups I feel very blessed to be in a place that has so many places where a person can find a home. 


A person doesn't always fit everywhere but with so many options there is a wonderful chance that everyone will eventually fit somewhere. 


Some of the things that I would never have gotten to experience in my lifetime had it not been for the amazing behind the scenes people of Albuquerque have been:


Being an RGL title holder. Riding in the Pride parade and facing the supporters and the haters. 


Thanks to AEL I have heard people speak that have lived leather for 50 years, and how our community has grown and changed and challenged each other. Listening to people talk about all kinds of play, and toys, safety, history, and relationships. 



Because of AEL's monthly parties I have been able to scene publicly enough so that I developed the skills to play and stay focused on my slave when there are others watching. As well as to be able to deal with someone that is attempting to take me away from my scene, or my slave away from her head space. Not just deal with them, but do so in a way that doesn't stop the flow of what we are doing.  I also now remember to wipe down the equipment, and have learned how to protect my slave in her post play space.  Those are things that you can only learn by doing, and doing consistently.



Thanks to NMFL I have been able to meet my idols Jay Wiseman and VI Johnson. Not just meet them, but have actual face to face time to talk to them.  Then there was when Guy Baldwin praised my slaves cooking- I will carry that with me for a long time.  I loved playing with liquid nitrogen, hearing Patrick  Mulcahey and his slave talk, and the stories of people that I would never have been able to meet otherwise.  I have also had the chance to learn about the bigotry surrounding pro Dommes that comes directly from our community that still blows my mind. 



Thanks to the Brickhouse Betties I have been able to come to terms with being a person of size.  Listening to and taking part of open and frank discussions that dealt with people’s bigotry, pain, and love has changed my life. It changed how I view myself, my body, and how I have the right to be treated as a person of size. It also opened my ears to the messages that I am being sent- so that way I can hear them fully- and tell them to fuck off.



Thanks to all of those that put their personal efforts into AEL Kinskills I am now a more knowledgeable and skilled player.  The real thrill has been watching other people take what skills that Kinkskills has brought them and actively use them. That gives me great great joy.




There is so much that I wish that I could put down here but it would be a long long blog!!!

 






 

 



 

Mainstreaming- good or bad? Neither? Both?

Just recently life slowed down for a cool five seconds and I had the chance to finally listen to the Evo Revo town hall with Sera Miles, Guy Baldwin, and VI Johnson. If you haven’t listened to it, take an hour over your morning cup of coffee and put an ear to it.  Listening to such amazing people such as Guy and VI give me the chills. I love their candid, open, and blatant way of approaching questions.

You can find the interview here on the Leatherati site: 

 http://www.leatherati.com/leatherati/2012/09/evorevo3-town-hall-panel-discussion.html

There was one point were they talked about our culture going mainstream and what  can happen to  our history, and our practices as the BDSM culture is absorbed by  the larger culture. They talked about some people not being able to stand the new influx of people, and going underground. Some will stay and teach others, and how parts of our culture will die with time and change.

I thought about this part of the conversation a lot. 

I have always been conflicted about the mainstreaming of our culture. Honestly speaking, teenagers wearing collars and slave bracelets make my skin crawl. They always did, always will. Fifty Shades of Sexually Frustrated Housewife makes me itch. I haven’t even read it    BUT- I pegged the plot.  Woman- pure, untouched. Man - broken wounded.  He gives up what he loves as a dominant, they marry.  Tell me I’m wrong…….  

I do enjoy the bits on TV that are obviously BDSM- that does make me giggle.

But seriously though-  the mainstreaming of our culture, does mean that there will be a  watering down of some of our practices, just as masses of people  step into the community with  access to more  information that was never available before. More bedroom players, more people who take on roles and titles without really putting in the time and practice and self knowledge that it takes to be that title, all because it is easy to become a Master at a click of a mouse. And Master SOUNDS SO COOL......

 I have to remind myself that as there will be a fair share of serious players that come into the life as well. Those vested in history, knowledge, skill, and self evolution. Just not as many…..

Then I got to thinking, that although mainstreaming will hit our community in a lot of ways, that ultimately the good will out weight the bad.

 If mainstreaming means that BDSM cannot be brought up  in divorce or custody proceedings, cannot be grounds to fire someone,  if it means that Dr’s need to became more educated so that Leather, kink and BDSM can be brought into the  examination room and  have questions and concerns discussed openly, if it means that laws need to be adjusted so that tops won’t be arrested for assault  and  bottoms can’t be arrested for  accessory to,  if it means that  we are able to protect our own community better from predators because we didn’t have to remain so secret, if it means that hotels and restaurants are vying for our events and munches instead of shying away from them ……   then mainstreaming is absolutely worth it.  

Bring it on.