Tons of SHIT TO DO!!!!!!!

Last month was New Mexico Fetlifers four year anniversary. When read the post I wanted to take a few days before I said anything. I wanted to really think about   what it was that NMFL has brought into my life and write a heartfelt reply.

 

So that got me to thinking about all of the things that I have experienced because of someone else s organizational efforts and how lucky I have been that Albuquerque has such strong groups that consistently produce these events. 

From AEL to NMFL to the individuals that run their private groups I feel very blessed to be in a place that has so many places where a person can find a home. 


A person doesn't always fit everywhere but with so many options there is a wonderful chance that everyone will eventually fit somewhere. 


Some of the things that I would never have gotten to experience in my lifetime had it not been for the amazing behind the scenes people of Albuquerque have been:


Being an RGL title holder. Riding in the Pride parade and facing the supporters and the haters. 


Thanks to AEL I have heard people speak that have lived leather for 50 years, and how our community has grown and changed and challenged each other. Listening to people talk about all kinds of play, and toys, safety, history, and relationships. 



Because of AEL's monthly parties I have been able to scene publicly enough so that I developed the skills to play and stay focused on my slave when there are others watching. As well as to be able to deal with someone that is attempting to take me away from my scene, or my slave away from her head space. Not just deal with them, but do so in a way that doesn't stop the flow of what we are doing.  I also now remember to wipe down the equipment, and have learned how to protect my slave in her post play space.  Those are things that you can only learn by doing, and doing consistently.



Thanks to NMFL I have been able to meet my idols Jay Wiseman and VI Johnson. Not just meet them, but have actual face to face time to talk to them.  Then there was when Guy Baldwin praised my slaves cooking- I will carry that with me for a long time.  I loved playing with liquid nitrogen, hearing Patrick  Mulcahey and his slave talk, and the stories of people that I would never have been able to meet otherwise.  I have also had the chance to learn about the bigotry surrounding pro Dommes that comes directly from our community that still blows my mind. 



Thanks to the Brickhouse Betties I have been able to come to terms with being a person of size.  Listening to and taking part of open and frank discussions that dealt with people’s bigotry, pain, and love has changed my life. It changed how I view myself, my body, and how I have the right to be treated as a person of size. It also opened my ears to the messages that I am being sent- so that way I can hear them fully- and tell them to fuck off.



Thanks to all of those that put their personal efforts into AEL Kinskills I am now a more knowledgeable and skilled player.  The real thrill has been watching other people take what skills that Kinkskills has brought them and actively use them. That gives me great great joy.




There is so much that I wish that I could put down here but it would be a long long blog!!!

 






 

 



 

Mainstreaming- good or bad? Neither? Both?

Just recently life slowed down for a cool five seconds and I had the chance to finally listen to the Evo Revo town hall with Sera Miles, Guy Baldwin, and VI Johnson. If you haven’t listened to it, take an hour over your morning cup of coffee and put an ear to it.  Listening to such amazing people such as Guy and VI give me the chills. I love their candid, open, and blatant way of approaching questions.

You can find the interview here on the Leatherati site: 

 http://www.leatherati.com/leatherati/2012/09/evorevo3-town-hall-panel-discussion.html

There was one point were they talked about our culture going mainstream and what  can happen to  our history, and our practices as the BDSM culture is absorbed by  the larger culture. They talked about some people not being able to stand the new influx of people, and going underground. Some will stay and teach others, and how parts of our culture will die with time and change.

I thought about this part of the conversation a lot. 

I have always been conflicted about the mainstreaming of our culture. Honestly speaking, teenagers wearing collars and slave bracelets make my skin crawl. They always did, always will. Fifty Shades of Sexually Frustrated Housewife makes me itch. I haven’t even read it    BUT- I pegged the plot.  Woman- pure, untouched. Man - broken wounded.  He gives up what he loves as a dominant, they marry.  Tell me I’m wrong…….  

I do enjoy the bits on TV that are obviously BDSM- that does make me giggle.

But seriously though-  the mainstreaming of our culture, does mean that there will be a  watering down of some of our practices, just as masses of people  step into the community with  access to more  information that was never available before. More bedroom players, more people who take on roles and titles without really putting in the time and practice and self knowledge that it takes to be that title, all because it is easy to become a Master at a click of a mouse. And Master SOUNDS SO COOL......

 I have to remind myself that as there will be a fair share of serious players that come into the life as well. Those vested in history, knowledge, skill, and self evolution. Just not as many…..

Then I got to thinking, that although mainstreaming will hit our community in a lot of ways, that ultimately the good will out weight the bad.

 If mainstreaming means that BDSM cannot be brought up  in divorce or custody proceedings, cannot be grounds to fire someone,  if it means that Dr’s need to became more educated so that Leather, kink and BDSM can be brought into the  examination room and  have questions and concerns discussed openly, if it means that laws need to be adjusted so that tops won’t be arrested for assault  and  bottoms can’t be arrested for  accessory to,  if it means that  we are able to protect our own community better from predators because we didn’t have to remain so secret, if it means that hotels and restaurants are vying for our events and munches instead of shying away from them ……   then mainstreaming is absolutely worth it.  

Bring it on.

little kid at the BIG Kids Table

I got to be the little kid sitting at the Big Kids table on Monday!!   IT WAS SO AWESOME! I just needed a sippy cup and a bib!!!

I got to sit and listen to the Biggies talk about their lives, and ask questions to Vi Johnson, Max Rulz, and Boi Robbie, and then I got to embarrass myself at Guy Baldwin!

I am going to paraphrase some of the things here that were said that I am still thinking about.  These are just parts of conversations, so bear with me as my head is still spinning over the experience of Monday.

Safe words make lazy ass tops. They don’t have to think, they don’t have to know anything, and they don’t have to watch their bottoms.

You can train a Monkey to flog, I can read a book and flog…. (In relationship to bottoms using safe words as manipulation.)

If you don’t trust - you will never fly.

Relationships, especially poly ones are not about the people looking at each other- they are about the people in the relationship all looking in the same direction.

You would learn because a Grand Master would be right at your side saying watch this, and what do you see here, and what about this.

 When I first asked her to mentor me she hung up on me, it took a long time to convince her that I really wanted to be mentored.  Then it was months of questions.

The best teacher for a new slave is another slave.

A Master can’t just bring in another slave and command that they be family - that shit don’t fly. You can’t build from the top.

I can train a slave to clean, but I can’t train a slave to not lie to me, that is my only deal breaker.

I am the keeper of secrets.

My other top moments:

Thank you to Saint for allowing me time with Chance.  That was a blessing.

 Thank you Sera for letting me run you out of your own kitchen- that was erotic and a blessing!

My amazing slave dancing at the drop of a hat by request.

Ms. R telling me that she was a dominant after I asked her to hand me my glass with both hands!!!!!  OOOOPPPPPSSSS!!!!

Giving complete permission to SW, T, and A to sit on my slave if she moves from her place before she finishes her lunch and her drink!

Honestly speaking I have had fantasies about things that I thought would never happen in my lifetime.

Meeting these people, hearing their words, soaking up every amazing minute that was a gift and a joy that I NEVER thought would happen to me.

Thank you NMFL for making this happen!!!!!!