Politics can
be a very hard thing. But what is it really? It is a belief or a set of beliefs
that make us all different. Nothing
divides us or unites us so deeply and strongly as our personal passionate beliefs.
Not just the wants that get us through the day to day. Like - ok vanilla creamer in the morning coffee
instead of mocha creamer. Or ok, tuna at
lunch and not turkey. Not those. (Not even
if you are REALLY passionate about turkey.)
I am talking
the biggies. The hard core, visceral beliefs that separate us as people. Those
things are usually based in the concepts of morality, justice, and what we
truly and honestly believe is right.
Things in
particular to BDSM:
Do you
believe it is ok to drink or use before, during, or after play?
Do you believe
it is OK to blacklist someone out of the community based on a personal issue? (I.e.
they aren’t dangerous, or bad, you just don’t like them.)
Do you believe
it is a right and just thing to warn others about groups that you feel are
predatory and dangerous?
Do you
believe in inclusion, exclusion, or both?
How do you define someone as dangerous?
Let’s take
the last one here. How do you define someone
as dangerous?
I think as a
rule we can all say the same basic four things that can apply to both tops and bottoms:
Skews
consent
Manipulates
coercion
Isolation
Withholding
of affection and/or support to achieve control
Blah blah
blah, we all get that.
But what
else makes someone dangerous?
What if it is
as simple as treating people badly to the point of running them out?
You could argue
that this has nothing to do with BDSM. That they most likely treat people badly
everywhere they go.
But I argue
that because BDSM is a small community, and because BDSM is a major part of identity,
that the running of people out of a community is perhaps more dangerous then
the unskilled player.
They are, in
essence, step by step removing support systems from someone who, may deeply
need it, and in turn may accidentally hurt themselves or others.
Creating
unsafe space for people is deeply damaging, not just to those that leave because
of it, but to those that stay and fight for some sort of balance after it.
Dangerous is
easy to define when someone carries a scar, or loses a finger. It is much harder to define when the psyche
gets scarred. The emotions get jacked to
high hell, and the sense of safety is compromised.
But I argue,
that a scarred psyche and compromised safety are just as, if not more, dangerous then a lost finger.
