I have written a book called "M/s for the Rest of Us" it is available for purchase here: http://www.lulu.com/shop/k-e-enzweiler/ms-for-the-rest-of-us/paperback/product-22151343.html
Or on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Rest-Us-K-E-Enzweiler/dp/1329062213/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1432825657&sr=1-2&keywords=m%2Fs+for+the+rest+of+us
I am the founder of the Albuquerque Masters Group. We meet once every other month. The group is open to all who wish to explore their Mastery, slavery, or Dominance and submission. Please contact me here or at my email : Bigdykebear@yahoo.com for more information! The meetings are free to all who wish to attend!
If you are interested in power munches, skills workshops or play parties in the Albuquerque area please contact the 20 year organization of AEL at:
If you are interested in active online community please find:
Group names for the Albuquerque Community Include:
Land Of Enchantment Fetlifers
Albuquerque Master/slave forum
New Mexico Leather League: Leather/Kink/Fetish and More
Friday, March 24, 2017
What are you doing sitting here and reading my blog, when you should be packing and wonderfully anticipating tonight’s beginning of SPRING PAN!
Take a look at the classes , volunteered and picked from your community!
Witchcraft and BDSM: Aftercare as Ritual
I Want It All: How to Negotiate for What you Want
Building Online Profiles and Netiquette
The “What makes you Tick?” Panel
Playing While Disabled
The Art of Erotic Flogging: From Beginner to Advanced
Exploring Degradation and Psychological Sadism
Gender Rebels: Navigating Gender Identity in a BDSM Context
Play parties, Raffles, Host rooms from your favorites local groups, and meet and greet!
Sunday, March 19, 2017
It was a huge breakthrough for me to write and then publish “M/S for the Rest of Us”.
It was a dream come true and still feels somewhat surreal.
The feedback that I have gotten on M/s from people who I have sent it to for a review has been intense for me. It has all been overwhelmingly positive and powerful.
Here is a link:
So today, the third book that I have written, and the second book that I have gotten published is available.
It is called “Nurse V Nurse”
It can be a little hard to find because there are a lot of Nurse V---- out there.
So here are the links.
It will also be available in e form soon!
I am so excited!!!!!!!!
Thank you everyone for all of your love and support!
Friday, March 17, 2017
Politics can be a very hard thing. But what is it really? It is a belief or a set of beliefs that make us all different. Nothing divides us or unites us so deeply and strongly as our personal passionate beliefs. Not just the wants that get us through the day to day. Like - ok vanilla creamer in the morning coffee instead of mocha creamer. Or ok, tuna at lunch and not turkey. Not those. (Not even if you are REALLY passionate about turkey.)
I am talking the biggies. The hard core, visceral beliefs that separate us as people. Those things are usually based in the concepts of morality, justice, and what we truly and honestly believe is right.
Things in particular to BDSM:
Do you believe it is ok to drink or use before, during, or after play?
Do you believe it is OK to blacklist someone out of the community based on a personal issue? (I.e. they aren’t dangerous, or bad, you just don’t like them.)
Do you believe it is a right and just thing to warn others about groups that you feel are predatory and dangerous?
Do you believe in inclusion, exclusion, or both?
How do you define someone as dangerous?
Let’s take the last one here. How do you define someone as dangerous?
I think as a rule we can all say the same basic four things that can apply to both tops and bottoms:
Withholding of affection and/or support to achieve control
Blah blah blah, we all get that.
But what else makes someone dangerous?
What if it is as simple as treating people badly to the point of running them out?
You could argue that this has nothing to do with BDSM. That they most likely treat people badly everywhere they go.
But I argue that because BDSM is a small community, and because BDSM is a major part of identity, that the running of people out of a community is perhaps more dangerous then the unskilled player.
They are, in essence, step by step removing support systems from someone who, may deeply need it, and in turn may accidentally hurt themselves or others.
Creating unsafe space for people is deeply damaging, not just to those that leave because of it, but to those that stay and fight for some sort of balance after it.
Dangerous is easy to define when someone carries a scar, or loses a finger. It is much harder to define when the psyche gets scarred. The emotions get jacked to high hell, and the sense of safety is compromised.
But I argue, that a scarred psyche and compromised safety are just as, if not more, dangerous then a lost finger.
Friday, March 10, 2017
Lead with an open heart. OR not at all.
I wrote this in my last blog. It is a modified quote from Ghandi.
The actual quote is:
“In doing something, do it with love or never do it at all.”
I have found that since last November this quote, that I have kept to my heart like my blood that flows through it, I am not able to do.
I am angry, bitter, judgmental, and unable to let love lead. Truly unable to lead.
To me, letting love lead means putting the self aside, and being there for the other person - where they are, not where you think they should be. It means me saying- these are the other groups that you should look into- even if I personally am not welcome there. It means acceptance and humility. It means putting aside my wants and needs so that another can grow in their BDSM, their way.
Being a leader is only partly about putting on events. It is bigger than that. It is about reaching people, giving them that hope, and helping them grow. It is about putting you away- and not just listening, but truly hearing them. Putting away your own judgments by asking questions and hearing the answers. For them, not for you. Opening the door, and holding their hands that first few steps. With the promise to be there after they have found their footing.
And that applies to whether they are brand new, or 50 years in and growing into something new.
These are the parts of leadership that I truly feel make leaders worth following.
This is a part of me that I lost in November. I am still here, by my fingernails. I will still work behind the scenes, do what I can.
But I truly feel that, as even though my love and I continue to have a solid M/s relationship. That I cannot give to the community what it deserves.
I removed my leather honor patch.
I may put it back on again, when I feel I have something to offer worth honoring.
Thursday, March 2, 2017
I have always believed that you can change the rules if you don’t play the game. What this means in essence- is - you can’t affect what is going on around you if you disappear and refuse to engage. You probably won’t find the love of your life if you go from work to the TV and back again. You probably won’t find that next play partner if you don’t go to community events, engage in online discourse, and expand your pocket of friends.
I believe this with all that I have.
Here is the thing with that.
There is a cost.
A price that comes with engagement.
Sometimes that cost comes big and all at once - like a relentless tornado of dark that surrounds the all of you.
Sometimes it is slow. It chips away at you, bit by bit. Until one day you look up, and there is nothing of you left. And you think, I used to remember a part of me there. Was there really a part of me there once?
If you are lucky, the tornado slows and lets you see through its eye to the other side.
If you are lucky, you can find the bits of yourself and stick them back on, trying them for size, seeing if you are really you, or if you have changed into something else. Something unexpected.
So that is where I am. I am chipped and raw. I have nothing left to give. I am taking parts of myself and putting them down. Maybe for a short time, maybe permanently.
Like a shedding almost.
So I am going to say to you what I truly want for you to have from what is left of me:
Keep your eyes on the goal.
You can do this.
This community needs you.
Believe the best in people until they prove you otherwise.
It doesn’t matter if you have a million dollars or none- what you have to offer MATTERS.
Remember you were new once.
And most of all.
Lead with an open heart. OR not at all.