I have written a book called "M/s for the Rest of Us" it is available for purchase here: http://www.lulu.com/shop/k-e-enzweiler/ms-for-the-rest-of-us/paperback/product-22151343.html

Or on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Rest-Us-K-E-Enzweiler/dp/1329062213/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1432825657&sr=1-2&keywords=m%2Fs+for+the+rest+of+us

I am the founder of the Albuquerque Masters Group. We meet once every other month. The group is open to all who wish to explore their Mastery, slavery, or Dominance and submission. Please contact me here or at my email : Bigdykebear@yahoo.com for more information!
The meetings are free to all who wish to attend!

If you are interested in power munches, skills workshops or play parties in the Albuquerque area please contact the 20 year organization of AEL at:


If you are interested in active online community please find:


Group names for the Albuquerque Community Include:

Land Of Enchantment Fetlifers

Albuquerque Kinksters

KinkySpot Clubhouse

Albuquerque Master/slave forum

New Mexico Leather League: Leather/Kink/Fetish and More

Friday, January 31, 2014

A “Must Have” Experience

OK PERV! I know what you are thinking, the must have experience is sex, or play, being fisted by several  people at once, being double teamed and made to cum over and over.  Being in an orgasmic three some or being turned black and blue until your thighs are wet and you are dripping with pleasure. Beating someone until they cum, or until they beg to cum, or until they suck you off and you cum.

Well-  OK – those are must have experiences to-  but the experience that I am  talking about is being in Darla's drawing class at the new shop that she has opened in  partnership  with  Tease Leather.

Last week my amazing slave modeled nude for Darla's drawing class. I love being there when it happens, and seeing the artistic renditions of her body by the students, and how they interpret her, how they each individually represent her through their eyes.
It fascinates me.

This week I got an extra special treat and I picked up a pencil and paper myself at Darla’s urging.  I got to, for the first time ever, be a student of my slaves body.

It was an intense experience. Now- I am by no means an artist, - quite frankly I looked over at Peters drawing to cheat. But the experience of seeing my slaves body out there and taking a pencil and following her curves,  watching that part of her nose that makes her so  regal, the swell  of her breasts as they came out on  my paper, the playful  depth  of her eyes as I messed  those up  real  bad, the beautiful  sea of her hips, and how they  teased my hands with  their simple complexity.

If you haven't modeled- MODEL! If you haven’t drawn, DRAW! Darla creates a safe class and environment, it is very loving and open. She maintains the artistic integrity of her models and the experience.
Although- I will warn you- Darla has a no eraser policy- but she does guide you through it, gives you pointers about how to look at your lines, and reassures you that whatever you are going through is all part of the experience.

The classes are 5 $ per person, EVERY Sunday from 1-3PM.

So here for your delight are some of the amazing pieces of my slave that came from the class that took my breath away. Not just because I think that they are amazing, but because that experience of sensually drawing her body, will stay with me a long time.

"eve" by Peter .  Stunning, classic.


"eve"  by Me

Now the pieces de Resistance----    "eve" by Darla

Don't let this idea intimidate you. Have this be that experience that you can  look back  at your life and say -  "I did that. "

You  will never regeret this.

For more information and to  go  see Unseen  gallery :


and www.unseengallery.com

Friday, January 24, 2014

Hands on class- red faces- and open to being Dominant

I love doing the “Finding your Inner Domme” classes. For me it is really challenging to look at a group of new Dominants, and try to find out what is that thing that is going to make the concept of power exchange click for them and become emotionally real. It is not an easy thing to do with a group of strangers, who have no reference for what I am asking, within an hour and a half. 

When finding someone is looking to experience their inner Dominant, it is their personal connection to power that is the key to getting them to understand their relationship to their Dominance.  This being said- talking about it will only get someone so far. That is why I designed the class to be hands on. People need to experience power exchange to understand it.  They need to connect to that one thing that unlocks their understanding of power and for each person - those can be very different things.

Each person or couple always comes in with their own needs and desires. I work the class around getting them to make the connection between what they really want, and understanding that they can ask for it- unapologetic-ally. Every class is very different, and each time I work with people it reminds me of how fundamentally different people’s connection to their own power really is.

 For some people they have a connection to their power through their toys.  Early in the class I take a break and ask the new Dominants look around for a toy that moves them. I ask them to find what appeals to them, what gets them excited. For some people as soon as they pick up that toy- there is that click- that connection.  Their eyes get wide, and their minds starts spinning and you can see that they have that mind-crotch connection.

Another point in the class I use getting connected to your sexual archetype. This is used to help people understand how being Dominant feels. I ask  people to think about someone that they identify as powerful-  could be anyone-  someone that they know-  someone that they have seen in a movie-  but it is understanding how that person  makes them “feel” that is significant. I always use Aaron Hotchner from Criminal Minds for myself. There is something so beautiful in his quiet power- I think about him when I am looking to connect to my Dominance. For some people that becomes where they connect- you can see their posture change, their eyes light up, their demeanor change, becoming stronger.

Then, as a class, we go through three exercises, one by one. At first we all  do the same exercise, then  by the third exercise I go  couple by couple or person  by person  and individualize what I want to  see from  them.  Some people connect right away at their first exercise. But others it takes the second time, and for some by the third go around they are horny, red-faced, and ready. Or connected rather…. And this is so beautiful to see.

Occasionally there are those that aren’t able to connect with their dominance by the end of the class. That does happen, because the connection for some is really complicated, and really difficult. It is so new, and for many, against a lot of what they either have never challenged in their life, or are hard core wired to believe. For those I can only hope that I gave them something to think about and resources to follow up with.

 BDSM is such a passion of mine. It is such a deep desire to give others the start that I never had. So to watch as the light goes on, as people leave giggly and red faced, and quickly! To see those that need more time, but have experienced something that they know will give them food for thought, and for everyone to have resources, safe resources that mean that-  if they want it- that  their learning gets to continue. 

That means the world to me.

Sunday, January 19, 2014

Finding your Inner Dominant Class!

Finding your Inner Dominant Class!

This Tuesday at Self Serve from  7:30- 9.


Friday, January 17, 2014


I remember when it happened.

 About three years ago. 

I remember the circumstances that led to me being pushed beyond my limits. The stress had taken its toll. I remember being in the bedroom of the old house and backing against the wall because I no longer had the strength to support myself. I remember sliding down and sitting in a fetal position. I remember the tears would not come because I no longer had it in me to cry. I remember that feeling of numbness. That feeling of nothingness, the feeling of emptiness. The void of who I was, who I had spent years making myself out to be ---was now gone, with nothing to replace it. I felt soulless. This wasn’t about pride. It wasn’t about not getting what I wanted.  It wasn’t about having a hissy fit fueled by self absorption or conceit. I literally in that moment lost my soul. I was a shell. I was numb and hollow and empty in a way that could only feel like death.

When a Phoenix rises from the ashes it is a bold, fiery thing. The heat is unmistakable, undeniable; the power is beyond words and emotions. The Phoenix is powerful and knows that it will inevitably change. That it will rise again, that it will overcome, it will conquer, it will live another day to grow and strengthen and rise.

But people are not Phoenixes.  At least I am not.

I didn’t come back from there as a Phoenix. I didn’t rise and stand and feel my fire and my strength. I had no ability to take back  who I was, I didn’t have the strength to  stand, how I could I have the strength to fight. I didn’t have the strength to breath how could I become fire?
But time marches on. Like water, like fire, time leaves nothing untouched. Including me.

The reason that I remember that moment so well is because this week I felt the beginning of a lasting fire again.

Real fire, my fire. Not the fire that I had borrowed from others who had given me the strength to stand again, but I would have to return to them.  Not the fire that I had hoped would be there but could not feel.  Not the fires that I had seen flicker and die and then flicker and die so many times. 

This was the beginning of my fire again. It burned softly, steadily, and carefully. Like it was trying to make its way--- not just back into the world again, but to be seen and felt again.

It felt like I could feel my own soul again. It was not that “who I was “had begun to return. It was that “who I have always wanted to be” is again within my grasp. 

That is what it felt like to breathe in again and feel my breath, feel my life, and feel that somewhere sitting by my fire was my soul again. 

I think that when we all fall there is this idea that we rise as powerfully as we fall, or that we comeback like the Phoenix. 

But that doesn’t always happen, in fact, it mostly doesn’t happen. 

Roads back to the self when so much is lost, or roads down to another self, are long arduous journeys that take time. They are painful, they are difficult, and they are filled with road blocks that make all of us just want to sit down and ask ourselves   “ why am I doing this anymore? “  “Why am I challenging myself to grow?”  “ Why am I bothering when that last part of the road that I just came from - maybe that wasn't too bad. I think I remember that there were fewer rocks there. Maybe I should go back there.” 

Especially since there are no guarantees that at the end of the new road things will be better, or easier.

 But there is one promise. One promise that my Mom made to me years ago, that I hold onto like the air that I breathe, like the fire that warms me.  The promise that it will be different.

And so like time, like water, like fire, I am different now. 

I can feel myself retuning to me. Slowly, but steadily. 

Who I was, a provider, a lover, a lesbian. Who I have always wanted to be a provider, a lover, a lesbian….  I feel that fire again.

Small, steady, but warm.

Friday, January 10, 2014

What is mine is mine- what is yours is yours

I tend to talk to a lot of people online, sometimes they have questions about the lifestyle and sometimes they have very specific questions about what they are going through. I am always flattered and honored when people feel free and safe enough to ask me questions. That is a thing that I take very seriously. 

A few years ago I was mentoring someone and I saw that they were in an abusive relationship, or what I thought was an abusive relationship. So I thought that I was helping them ask questions about their situation, and to come to some sort of understanding about the type of abuse that they were dealing with.  I also thought that it was their goal to leave. So I was working towards what I thought their goal was. 

What I learned from that experience, which end badly, was that I was asking the wrong questions. I assumed that what I wanted for them was what they wanted for themselves.  I didn’t check in enough to see where their goals were, and what had changed.

So I take that experience with me and I use it now as I talk to people.

Sometimes it is really hard to listen to people when they hurt and not push to hard. To listen because all they need is an ear, not a judgment or pressure.  It is hard, especially when I really care about the person and can see that they have so much potential. It is hard when I hear myself wanting to ask “do you remember the last time you smiled, and meant it?” 

To watch and listen as they give all that they are against a wall that will not give back what they need. To see and hear as they wither because they think that it they are just better, if they just change, if they just learn to love more and accept more that it will get better and their partner will be happy- and then they can be happy.
Watch as they engross themselves in what the other person thinks because they think that if they just give that one more piece of them then things will change and it will be what it once was, or maybe that it never was but what they hoped it could be. 

Watching them strive and feeling like I can see the outcome unfold before my very eyes. 

It is so hard, and sometimes I fail at listening. I can’t do it anymore, it is too painful. It is too personal, it is to frustrating. So I take a break about what I can and can’t hear.  I remind myself that for someone to truly be empowered the decisions that they make have to be from their heart, or they can’t own them.

So that is what I focus on, empowering people,  asking questions,  getting them  to  define, narrow,  or broaden  their answers so  that their words are theirs alone,  and so that they are talking about their life and where they want it to go. 

That is when I know that I have done right by another person- when I can honestly say to myself- I did or said something to help them achieve their goals. 

Even if those goals are very different from mine.

Friday, January 3, 2014

New Years Omens

New Years Eve and ringing in the New Year are really big for us.  It has all sorts of omens as to what the New Year will bring. How you spend your time, who you spend it with, what you talk about, all of these things are signals as to what the next twelve months will hold.

 This year for New Years Eve we started off with  incredible, delectable sex. The kind of mind blowing sex that makes you blush  and giggle all day. The kind of sex that is as deeply orgasmic as it is loving and connecting. The kind of sex that makes you want to laugh, and cry, because you feel love and lust to your bones. It fulfills you as much  as it leaves you wanting more. Time stops and that moment is frozen  forever as a part of you. Always to  be with you.

Yea-  that kind of sex.

Then afterwards.......

We had dinner with some amazing friends and family. The conversation was wild. Their teen age son was there and - I am well- not skilled about being around kids. So that was hard and different- thank goodness he is such good kid! 

We laughed so hard, and I shoved my foot way deep down in my mouth so hard that it poked out my ass! Whew- it is rare that I really am that much of an ass in public- I wonder what they will mean for the New Year.

Then we crashed for a bit, and got up  and went to Denny’s at ten-ish to see if anyone was going to come to the open initiation to celebrate New Year’s. This year we did an open invite and I sent out a ton of personal invitations to see who would like to come to a cheap but open venue for the New Year. I received about 40 replies back.  Most people were going to  spend time elsewhere, so  I was pretty sure that it was going to  be me, my slave and the waiter ringing in the New year, which  I did not mind at all.

But it turns out that an amazing handful of people did come, and I loved their company and conversation. It took a while to gain some traction in the conversation, and for everybody to relax and open up, but when they did- it was real life. It was beautiful.

 So here is the weird thing. I don’t like kids as a rule, they make me very uncomfortable. I know that I don’t know anything about them, and generally parents are extremely distrustful of lesbians and children, especially girl children. So a wonderful friend showed up with her new baby and - ok this one got to me- this was one cute baby. So I took a chance, something that I have NEVER done before.  I really put myself out there to hold the baby and bounce the baby and entertain he baby. It was very very new to me- foreign- then I crossed all sorts of baby protocols that I had no idea existed.  

So for those of you who are never around babies- TAKE NOTES:

1) DO NOT stick your fingers in baby mouth.
2) NEVER FEED baby food or drink without asking the parent first.

Seems simple doesn’t it- like common sense? Yea- well- I was on a roll. The mother was very gentle with me, but I would have been PISSED!

So we all rang in the New Year, baby included, and then my slave and I went home and crashed. 

Good people, good food, a lot of love, a lot of laughter-

So what does 2014 hold for you?

(Posted with  Parental Permission.)