I have written a book called "M/s for the Rest of Us" it is available for purchase here: http://www.lulu.com/shop/k-e-enzweiler/ms-for-the-rest-of-us/paperback/product-22151343.html

Or on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Rest-Us-K-E-Enzweiler/dp/1329062213/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1432825657&sr=1-2&keywords=m%2Fs+for+the+rest+of+us

I am the founder of the Albuquerque Masters Group. We meet once every other month. The group is open to all who wish to explore their Mastery, slavery, or Dominance and submission. Please contact me here or at my email : Bigdykebear@yahoo.com for more information!
The meetings are free to all who wish to attend!

If you are interested in power munches, skills workshops or play parties in the Albuquerque area please contact the 20 year organization of AEL at:


If you are interested in active online community please find:


Group names for the Albuquerque Community Include:

Land Of Enchantment Fetlifers

Albuquerque Kinksters

KinkySpot Clubhouse

Albuquerque Master/slave forum

New Mexico Leather League: Leather/Kink/Fetish and More

Friday, July 26, 2013

When my slave hurts

I wonder how other Masters handle it when their slaves are going through something really hard.   I know that logically it probably runs the gambit from the Master who feels that the slave’s only duty is for the Masters use and   the slaves internal workings are none of the Master s concern. All the way on the other end of the spectrum to those Masters that want to know where their slave is emotionally so they can be a part of their slaves emotional growth, and health. 

Guess which one I am……

My slave went to a class recently on sensuality expecting to come away renewed and full of loving and sexual energy.  Instead she walked away really messed up. I mean it really did a number on her. What little sleep she gets is full of nightmares and she whimpers and moans. She is exhausted and needing a lot of reassurance that this is not  in her head-  that  this really was a bad experience that she is having to now sort through and deal  with. It will take time and her own emotional work for her to heal before she is OK again in a whole sense.  During her time of re- centering, re-grounding, and healing I work extra hard to create a safe space for her both emotionally and physically. 

As she talks through her process it is really hard for me to put my feeling of anger and protection aside so that she can feel heard.  There are times when I do ask to change the subject because I get so angry I can’t support her, and I know that is what she needs more then my anger. 

She is working through  it, one day at a time, one  experience at  a time,  one emotion at a time,  and I walk beside her, holding her hand , watching over her to comfort her as she sleeps,  kissing her tears, and  listening.... listening.  I am making sure that she rests, that she drinks and eats and takes her daily mediation, so that she can focus on healing.

I hold her and care for her now as she has endlessly done for me.  She will heal  and move forward in life, she works hard to do that,  but for the moment I make every effort to show that she is worth more to me then just her service,  that all of her matters. 

I am so deeply angry at the facilitators of that workshop. They were in my opinion dangerous, destructive, reckless, and so based in ego that they couldn’t teach shit out of a horse. I sent my slave to them for healing and enlightenment and she came back fractured and hurtling. And I am angry about it.  

The facilitators paired up  strangers who had NO knowledge of each other and  were told to tell the stranger in  front of them  "this is what  what I want you to do to me, tell me what you want me to do to you".   There was no discussion about or  consideration  or respect for sexual  orientation- body size preference- vanilla or kink desire, or ethnicity preference. The "facilitators"  shut down peoples real  emotions, told people to "shake off"  (like that is even  possible)  how they feel , and asked people to be extremely sexually  and emotionally vulnerable and then  told them to move on to the next person. They did not allow the group to laugh-  yes facilitators shut down  laughter. The room  was hot the air conditioner was turned off because it was loud and a door was not opened, and the two pitchers of room  temperature water did not even  come close to stopping people from  wilting.  

They are people that love hearing themselves talk, love thinking that they know it all, that they are the most advanced people, that they are so “progressive” that they can tell others how and what to feel, and what those feelings  mean - and you better not argue, because if you argue you just aren’t as “progressive” as they are.

They can kiss my big fat ass.  They are the worst kind of people - so based in ego that nothing else matters to them except to say that they taught a workshop.

 I am angry.  I am hurting for my wife and slave who works on body image and sensuality every day. I am pissed that theses assholes made money off of others and had no idea what they were doing. And  if  they  are told about how the workshop  really went-  it is my guess that these dick wads will simply say-  ohh that person wasn’t “engaged”  wasn’t “evolved” wasn’t “ready for our kind of intensity”.

 You want intensity asshole?

Meet you in the parking lot.  I have intensity for you……. 

OK - now I can go back to listening.

Friday, July 19, 2013

My Mistress- the House

The other day my slave and I were preparing for our upcoming move when my slave said “this is like getting out of a bad relationship.” I laughed and thought how true, our current house has become like a very abusive mistress in more ways than one.  As we are preparing to move and start a new phase in our lives just how much this house was a bad relationship has started to sink in.

Ahh!!!!    In the beginning my Mistress “the house” and I talked so many dreams together. We planned our future talking of putting flowers in her front yard, me going back to school, and who knows maybe even a baby or two. The picture she painted was one of early retirement and relaxation. Lazy days filled with love, sex, play, horses, parties, family and friends. I would get her the deck that she always wanted, and she would support me going back to school for my Masters degree, she would get new flooring and I would be able to teach horses for next to nothing, she would get a paint job and I would write my book.

The birds sang every time we were together, the squirrels appeared and the wild bunnies applauded our new found love.  Oh how the sun shined up my ass, and it felt good up there.

It wasn’t long before her jealousies began to make themselves known. I remember our first spat, I was filling up the new waterbed and the water ran out.  I thought, this is just a glitch, a misunderstanding, we can work this out, but it was not to be. She felt that I wasn’t paying her enough attention that I was looking at other houses on the side, so she made more demands, as the kitchen sink exploded, and the dish washer stopped working.    She wanted more, so to make her happy I worked two jobs and over time to outfit her with new siding and a roof. 

The more I gave the more she wanted, and although it seemed like she was being legitimate and sincere in her demands, even regretful at how much I was working, the demands still came. Any time that she felt that my attention or focus was not on her she would explode and run out of water, the septic ran over, the stove, washer and dryer all went out at the same time. 

It was when she needed more money then what I could possibly make no matter how many hours I put in-- that I thought - maybe she would see what she was asking and want less, or need less, or support me more. But no- her desires were not to be denied and over time became impossible to satiate.  The bills mounted into three piles: payable, not payable and about to be shut off.

Finally I realized that I had given her my all, my time, my health, my blood, sweat, tears and sacrifice. At that point I came to realize that my house the Mistress was never going to be happy, she was never going to be fulfilled. My Mistress the house was going to take and take  until there was nothing left- and then she would only blame me for her unhappiness and unpainted walls. She would blame me for fulfilled promises and the lack of raised flower beds. All the while my own dreams had long been put aside under the strain of her need for attention time, money and more money.

When I started knowing it was time to move on I had my fears. What if my next house didn’t love me like she loved me? What if I am just overreacting and am really going from bad to worse? What if I am a failure and no matter what house I am with I will always fail?

What if the real problem was me?

When the new house came, she came with soft words and promises, and I was scared. My old Mistress had made promises to. But the new house, she has said that I can do this on my own time, and my own way. The new house has already proven her ability fulfill promises, and to provide support, and although I am afraid and cautious and not ready to emotionally commit all of the way. The new house is not pressuring me to. She has guided me gently, letting me cry, and be angry, she has been kind and forgiving, and she knows that it will take time for me to trust again, but she is ready and willing to do the work for me to get there.  Her well is producing strong and clean water; we contracted for how much she would need with no chance of her suddenly needing more and more. So everything that she has said she has backed up with reality.

So we move forward after these four years of a bad relationship. With much help from friends and loved ones and people coming out of the woodwork to make sure that we can move on. So many people are making this happen with us, wanting to see us in a better relationship, having sat patiently all this time waiting for me to be ready to move forward. 

I am a little more broken but repairable, a little more wary, and I have my work cut out for me. Work to do on myself, my finances, and my life. At this time though- I am also full of hope. Hope that the life that I had wanted for me and my slave is still attainable, still within my reach. I suppose that is all that one can  ask for after four years of failure and  increasing demands that took my dreams and turned them into sleepless nights,  to many jobs, and to little sanity. 

I still have the hope that it gets better. That I can with work and time and love -make it better. My old Mistress the house does not get to take that away, and I am not letting her. 

Thank you so much K&C, Vi Johnson, SM, BB and all of those that have made this possible. Without all that you have done we would be lost and without hope.

Sunday, July 14, 2013

Candle LIght Vigil this Wednesday

Hello Everyone.

This Wednesday we will be holding a  candle light vigil for those affected by the tragic story of Trayvon Martin and  in support of  his family and loved ones. This will be a vigil for all of us who have been  affected by, targeted because of, or wish to  lend support to those that have been brutalized by  racism, homophobia, and hate.

It will be this Wednesday at 7pm  at  BATAAN MEMORIAL Park off of Lomas and Carlisle .  All are welcome to join- bring yourself and if you can  a few white candles to share.

Friday, July 12, 2013

Finding your Inner Dominant Class

I am  so excited!!!!!  This Tuesday at Self Serve I am  going to be teaching the "Finding your Inner Dominant" class. This isn't the first time that I have taught the concepts and I love the look  on people's faces when they hit that "A-HA" moment! 

So for those of you who are wondering about the class  here is a teaser of what will be covered :

Terminology- red, yellow,  green, BDSM , top drop, aftercare ect...

 Talking with your partner, introducing dominance in the bedroom.
Pitfalls, myths,  consent versus coercion.

How to  mentally prepare for taking on  your Dominant role by using archetypes  and stereotypes to  develop a mental  picture.

Steps to  experience Dominance physically. People are encouraged to bring something from home to  have fun with, or use something at the store. Dominance cannot be done in a chair, and will not be experienced by someone else talking about it. So I have come up with some exercises to  get the juices flowing! 

The emotional  understanding of Dominance will be talked about through the entire presentation.

I am  really excited about this class! I do  love new Dominants!!!!

 It will be:

 Tuesday July 16th at 7:30pm.
 Self Serve
3904 Central Ave SE  Albuquerque, NM 87108
(505) 265-5815

Call to RSVP! 


Friday, July 5, 2013

Albuquerque Masters Group

In August I start a new project  a Master and slave group in Albuquerque.  I am really excited about it.  Just to be clear here, I will not be starting a MAsT chapter, although I support MAsT international, I am not interested in currently taking on the responsibility of their requirements to be able to have and maintain a group. I am going a little more independent at this time, not to say that might change, but for right now this is what works for me.

The group will be meeting once a month, with activities alternating month by month. On one month there will be a discussion group, this is for Masters, prospective Masters, ex Masters, and those who are Master curious only, no slaves will be allowed at the discussion groups. At the beginning of the meeting everyone will be handed a card and everyone will write a question that they want answered, it is anonymous, and can be asked to a person or to the group.  We will beat that to death, then pull another question from the hat.  I am currently scoping out meeting places and have three hopefuls at this point which also keep the group meetings free. 

There will be guidelines such  as:  respect others experiences  and ups and downs, listen  without interrupting  (I will need help on that one)  understand that no one has the one way, understand that everyone fails and everyone succeeds, no one Master has all the answers, and not one Master has he ability to  train every slave.

On the opposite months will be potluck get togethers for Masters and slaves, singles and those in M/s relationships of any dynamic, the M/s curious and the M/s seeking as well as Dominants looking to try new protocols or are Master and slave curious when it comes to their requests of their slaves and submissives. 

The get togethers are going to be at host houses and will be set up for Masters and slaves to practice public protocol, try out new ideas, work on strengthening protocol, or learning from others with specialties. The idea is that when Masters and slaves pay for events they don't necessarily want to try a new protocol or use the time at the event focusing on trying something new that may or may not work for them in the long run.   

For example let’s say that a Master and slave want to try the “don’t talk unless the slave has permission to speak protocol” - instead of paying for an event and trying it out this is a chance to try it out to see if it works for  them and be able to focus on that part of the slaves training and the Masters experience without it being at the cost of an event. Or let’s say the Master wants the slave to be naked in service in public, this is the place to try that, or if the Master or Masters wants to put their slave through their public paces while serving multiple people. 

It is also a chance for us to learn from  each other, there are a few Masters that  know a lot about a higher protocol in  service, just kicking it up a notch, so  being able to talk with them and put my slave though a new way of serving excited me a lot! And being able to do to  try these new things “hands on” excites me even more!


There will be guidelines here as well:  no drinking, no drugs, no intoxication of any kind. This is not a play party, although  skills will be allowed to be shown  and taught upon request, no  touching what isn’t yours,  no requesting service from slaves that are not yours, inappropriate, impolite, or otherwise questionable behavior will lead to  that person  being asked to leave then  put on  probation  before being allowed back.

My goal is to create a stronger Master and slave community and network in Albuquerque. Free places where we can learn and grow from each other, as well as support  and help each other navigate through our relationships and our identities. There are some things that only other Masters ad slaves understand, some things that only single Masters and slaves know about expectations and relationships that other parts of the community, although  supportive, don’t really get. 

 Over time depending on how the group grows there may end up being an official event, weekend, or play party. But time will tell on those things.

I am really excited and will be posting all over when I have the meeting place and date set.  I do love a new project!!!!!

Although I will not be starting a MAsT chapter, if you are wanting  more information on MAsT International their website can be found here:  http://www.mast.net/