High Protocol

I am currently reading “The Ritual of Dominance & Submission: A Guide to High Protocol Dominance & Submission” by David English.

 

I am really enjoying the idea of adding something more ritualistic to what my slave and I already do. I deeply love service; I love the ritual of it, the thought behind it, and the beauty of the whole process.  So I am excited about looking at what we do and seeing where it could be tweaked or changed. I have the parts of the book that I disagree with, of course- but overall I like the flow.

 

Part of what it means to add something is to assess where we are currently to see if, when, and where other parts of protocol can be reasonably added. This is a lot of fun for me, because it puts me in a place where I have to look at what we have managed to achieve after all of this time! 

 

So far I am looking at our morning rituals, but I haven’t found a place that I could realistically implement some sort of advanced protocol that is reasonable for us.  So far every morning before I go to work, she lays out my clothes, gets me my morning drink so I can take my medications, makes my lunch, and feeds the horses. Not to mention fulfilling any other last minute requests that I have. 

 

When I come home she serves dinner while I decompress. Then we head to bed and get up the next morning and do it all over again.So because our daily schedule is so tight   I am looking at other things that are add –able.

 

I am in the part of the book that talks about slave positions. So in general the concept is that the slave serves the Master and then falls into a position (usually to the back or side of the room or to the side of their Master) until they are called on again to serve. That is where slave positions come in really handy and are beautiful to watch and experience.

Where I find difficulty in utilizing slave positions is that we are 24/7. So  since she is usually in  some form of active service or doing the things that keep the house up  and running (the unsexy things like  laundry,  mopping, and cleaning toilets)  where would having her stand to  the side waiting for me to  call  her come into  play?

 

 I mean, while she is standing there waiting for me to beckon her - ummmm—who is making lunch?

 

I could see using this type of thing at a party or event; I can also see these things in a multi slave household where each slave has a dedicated duty list.  But when it is one on one, I wonder if it is a little less applicable?   

 

To be completely honest- I don’t know. 

 

And I WONT know what is or isn’t truly doable until we dive in and get in the middle of it. Since I have never done this type of protocol before- there is only one way to find out. Try it, evaluate it, change it, and try it again.

 

 

How cool is that?????

We literally had NO IDEA

My eve and I are absolutely overwhelmed by the outpouring of last night.
When  AEL decided this  and Vlad and M took  on  the hosting-  we were told when  and where to  show up.

We literally had NO IDEA of the amount of work  and running that was happening on  our behalf.

I was stunned silent by the endless donations given, everyone put their heart, talent, energy and love into those amazing prizes.

Throughout the night I would be pulled aside and people would give me private donations.

 I was blown  away and touched by everyone of you that took  from  your own  to be able to give to  us.
I can only say Thank  you from  my heart. Your generosity has moved me deeply.

To  those that shared your words of encouragement, love, and inspiration-  all  of you have really touched eve and I.

This whole event has moved and touched our hearts. This community donated over 2400.00$ for us last night.

And because I believe in complete accountability to  all  of you that donated your time, effort, love energy,  talent and presence: today we sent out our mortgages for next two  months , and tomorrow we pre pay our health  insurance. 
You  did that.
You  made our home safe while I have to  take time away from  work  to recover.
You  made it possible for me to  walk  into  surgery on  the 5th with medical  coverage.

Even  now I am  slowly getting an  idea of how many people where involved in this.
This scope is beyond me -  and I that is to  say we-  are so  deeply humbled by this community.

Both  my eve and I are looking forward to  serving the community again  soon, when  all of this passes.


The words :Thank you" barely scratch  the surface of how we both  feel.

Thank you Deeply.
Thank you Humbly.
Thank  you from  the bottom of Our Leather Hearts. 

I AM DILATED!

Thanks to the donations of the people in this community our mortgage is paid and I have NEW glasses coming in one week! 

This is my eyes dilated after my appointment- It has been  said that I look  like RoboCop!!!! 

This Saturday AEL is doing a fundraiser for us, we are so grateful!

 Information is here:

Dear Friends!


You are invited for a very special event being produced by AEL: Kinks That Care. This coming Saturday, July 25th, join us for a fund raising pot luck, followed by a raffle and play party!
As many of you know, Master Bear and Squishybrowngrrl have been going through a very challenging period physically and financially. Over the years they have contributed so much energy to the community, and now it is time for us to come to help them. Lets show that we are a community that cares by supporting them in this time of need. Come out and join us for this amazing event!


Pot Luck!!!


The pot luck will begin at 7:30pm. If you bring a dish to share, you will only be asked $5 per person for the party! If you do not bring a dish, the donation for the evening will be $10. Following the pot luck, plan to stay and have the chance to win some amazing raffle items during the Bozo auction!



Win!!!


During the evening you will also have the opportunity to still get tickets for the Grand Prize raffle of an
Under Bust Corset from Xcentricities Corsets
or
Fine Wine Selection from Stephen & Sally




Play!!!


If that were not enough to make for an amazing night, plan to stay and join us for a play party starting at 9pm. There will be multiple rooms of dungeon equipment, and we expect the play to go, and go, and go!!!


Please send us your RSVP as soon as possible to aelmailing@gmail.com, and we will be looking forward to having you join us on the 25th for a night of fun, food, and friends!
In Leather,
AEL: Kinks That Care

Gays NOT celebrating Gay Marriage rights???????

Hello all! My slave has an amazing brain.  she write this on her Facebook  but it was so powerful  I wanted to  put it out there in  my blog. For those of you that dont know, I am  white and my slave is of color. her introspective take  on life and personal insight  makes me so  proud to  be with her. This is what she wrote: 

Gentle Rant: 


For those in our queer community who are genuinely incensed at how gays' are celebrating finally having the right to marry, I say "To each their own", but for all of those who are speaking against gay marriage being approved because it's somehow "bourgeoisie" let me ask you something. 


Speaking as a queer descendent of slaves, did it ever occur to any of you who are affronted that maybe your conflation of marriage rights with "selling out" is a bourgeoisie thought process in itself? 

Marriage between slaves' or slaves' and people who weren't of their race wasn't recognized until VERY recently in our country's history and I can tell you that it DOES make a difference to have your commitment to each other recognized by your country because it's a very important first step in being recognized as a human with a right to dignity. 


In other words', until you have had the life altering experience of having to look up your ancestors' records' of births, deaths' (including lynchings'), and life partners' through countless "bill of sale" records, sit down, relax, and be happy for 5 minutes that a large segment of our nation's population now has rights' that were non-existent to them only last week. 


Your sense of elitist privilege is starting to show.





I am  adding this: 



  

The Happiest day of my life.  It was and still is the most perfect day.

Jobs, Kidneys, Surgery, HOPE

Hello All,

So  In don't really know how to write this.

One on hand I am  embarrassed,  on  the other- I am   encouraged and given hope.

So  a week  or so back I ended up  in  the emergency room  on a Wednesday night. I was driven  there by the most impressive group of EMT's, and ambulance people.

Turns out it was kidney stones. I have never had them  before, I stayed in the hospital  From  Wednesday until  Saturday. With  emergent surgery on  Thursday. I didn't do  well on  the table during surgery because of a kidney infection, so they stopped early before they could remove the stones. I stabilized quickly then.

But to  back  up  a little.

When we moved into our new house two  years ago  it was all  thanks to this community that stepped up and pitched in. Without  K, Roughhouse, Tease, Vlad, and Jaime and Lori-  I cant imagine what would have happened. 

And since then  we have made monumental  financial  strides in our life. 

 In April I quit working at the hospital. I planned for it  and made sure to  pay the mortgage in advance  and get us private health insurance to  carry us through  me getting a new job. Luckily I started my new job on June 8th.

The new job has been  incredibly understanding of me being in  the hospital. I was out of work  for 4 days, and then  when I was in new employee  orientation at HR my slave got the call  that the surgeon wanted my back in the ER to  test me for blood clots. 

So  I had to  leave and spend a few more hours being tested. I am  in  the clear. 

But I will be completely honest with  you-  that scared me more then  the kidney stones. 

I know that I am  of size, but I am  also  mobile and active. Moreover I know how dangerous blood clots can  be.  They are deadly. That day of emergence room  testing  scared me more then  the four days I was in  the hospital  put together. 
I know people that have died from  blood clots, I have cared for people that have died from  blood clots. My grandfather died from  blood clots post hip  surgery. 

The initial  testing came out a positive indicator for clots, but the further testing showed me to  be negative. 

I feel  so  damn  lucky. 

That being said my loss of time from the new job  has cost us- and upon  the recommendation  of beloved family we started a "fund me" page. 
The costs will  go  directly to  keeping our private health  insurance until my insurance from my new job kicks in. One of our mortgages, and a new pair  of glasses for me. (They were accidentally broken  during initial trip  to  the hospital.) 


I think what I am  trying to do  here is justify why I am asking for help. I don't want anyone to think that I am  just a lazy, poor me person  looking for a handout. 

So  before I back  out and erase this whole blog I am  going to  post the link and walk  away. 

 Thank  you to everyone that has donated at this point. W/we are deeply deeply grateful .





http://www.youcaring.com/daddybear-aka-keli-381121#.VZWK--RpGms.facebook

 



 



 

Inner parts, outer parts

I think that I have written about this before, but it was a long time ago and recently it has come up again. A lOOOOOOOOOOng time ago before I was gay and before I was leather I was at a horse expo in Colorado. I wasn’t expo-ing that year I was just a spectator. In between events and competitions there was a “Horse Master” who was doing a demo about his expertise. He had his legion of fans of course and behind him was his class of students that had followed him, his entourage, so to speak. So in the center of the arena he was doing tricks with his horse. The showy stuff, getting the horse to lie down, go down on one knee, follow hand signals that type of thing.

 At one point he just happened to look back at his students. I remember following his gaze and seeing what had caught his eye. 

One of his students, a very young, thin girl was having considerable trouble with her horse. It was rearing, bucking, trying to bolt, and running into other horses. It was becoming a danger not only to its rider, but also to the other horses and riders that where there. She was doing everything that she could to get the horse to calm down with no results. The “Horse Master” however, seeing the trouble that she was having ignored the struggling horse and rider and turned back around to continue with his show. 

This experience has stuck with me ever since. It has permeated its way into how I think and what I experience in my leather walk. What is the point of pretty pony tricks if the basics of life are ignored? What is the point of having amazing public protocol if behind closed doors everything is a fight?  What is the point of looking your best only to have every request ignored, or complained about? 

And this goes for both sides of the whip. What is the point of a beautiful, amazing, and powerful slave if the Master is a gasbag jerk off that can’t see their way out of their own toy closet? 

I think about this a lot. For me the real service is the service that happens behind the doors. It is beautiful when it is public and recognized, but what emotionally goes on between the people is where the actual power is.  

I have seen beautiful play, beautiful players. I have been mesmerized by the intensity of public protocol that has left my head spinning, only to see where the people truly were emotionally and think oh- no. I really wanted it to be different, for me, for them. I wanted to see them a certain way, I wanted that to be real. And yet I know that if they had spent as much time and focus on their inner parts as they do their outer parts maybe they wouldn’t be walking away from play and service feeling empty and confused.

We are told that somehow the acts of service, and play should be deeply fulfilling for us. And when they aren’t, or they leave us questioning, it can very confusing. So here is a little light on the subject.  If a person is not emotionally fulfilled in the basis of their relationship then play and service will not fill those holes. It will give them something to do. It will give them something to focus on, it will distract them from how they are feeling, but in the end, the feelings of being unfulfilled will remain.

People do different things with those feelings.  If they stay in the relationship sometimes they get nasty with others. I have noticed that people that are really unfulfilled tend to do a lot of “Mine is better or bigger then yours” talk.  "My service is more meaningful, deeper, more thought out then yours" kind of thing.

 I will give slaves this, their ability to be passive aggressive is highly evolved involved in them. (Just kidding!!!)

 However it happens in slaves as much as in Masters.  When Masters do it they don’t even try to hide that shit. They just whip it out and go at each other. It’s ugly, but true and one of the main reasons why having a Dominant or Masters Group can be a very big challenge.  The interesting thing is that I know it when I see it. When a Master or a Dominant comes over to me and is all swagger, or says something really idiotic that they think is really enlightened, it shines a light on their feelings of being unfulfilled.  

But then who knows maybe I am just the asshole here.  I can feel it coming a mile away. I have been that idiot. I know what that feels like.  I know how it feels to sit across from people that I feel are very secure and fulfilled and feel like I come up short. That is why I started really working on the things that matter the most.  Not just because of that feeling of being less then, but being inspired by others who have that depth with their partners.  I want that, I fight for that. I don’t ever want to be the one who has the prettiest play only countered by the most vicious arguments. 

Funny how this memory has played itself out, I have often wondered what happened to that girl rider. Did she continue on with her horse path, or was she so disillusioned by that day that she put away her saddle, or find a new mentor? What would I have done? What would you have done?