I have written a book called "M/s for the Rest of Us" it is available for purchase here: http://www.lulu.com/shop/k-e-enzweiler/ms-for-the-rest-of-us/paperback/product-22151343.html

Or on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Rest-Us-K-E-Enzweiler/dp/1329062213/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1432825657&sr=1-2&keywords=m%2Fs+for+the+rest+of+us

I am the founder of the Albuquerque Masters Group. We meet once every other month. The group is open to all who wish to explore their Mastery, slavery, or Dominance and submission. Please contact me here or at my email : Bigdykebear@yahoo.com for more information!
The meetings are free to all who wish to attend!

If you are interested in power munches, skills workshops or play parties in the Albuquerque area please contact the 20 year organization of AEL at:


If you are interested in active online community please find:


Group names for the Albuquerque Community Include:

Land Of Enchantment Fetlifers

Albuquerque Kinksters

KinkySpot Clubhouse

Albuquerque Master/slave forum

New Mexico Leather League: Leather/Kink/Fetish and More

Friday, September 19, 2014

The Ending Of NMFL

For those of you that have only come into the community in Albuquerque within the last 4 years or so, you have always had access to New Mexico Fetlifers, and so you are the lucky ones. For those of us that where here past that, there are still the not do  fond memories of the choking feeling of small town politics.

I love the Albuquerque community, always have. We are strongly diverse, passionate, and we love our play. But until New Mexico Fetlifers came, there was - well- difficulty. I am not saying that all of the small town politics have gone away over the years, no one is that lucky. What I am saying is that New Mexico Fetlifers crashed through the way it was and opened up unlimited possibilities for those that saw how things could be.

Not only did the board of fantastic four organize, advocate and bring in speakers from all over. Bigger then that- they opened the door and made it possible for anyone that had the drive to organize to have an open and far reaching platform.

NMFL breathed parts of this community to life, and gave the “up and comers” a sense of inclusion that had not been available until then.
Personally NMFL made some of my dreams come true. It was always a dream to meet Vi Johnson, Jay Wiseman, and Guy Baldwin. Things that I NEVER believed would happen have now become fond memories woven in to the fabric of my life.  

So when NMFL announced that they were closing it down I flat out panicked.  The idea that this community would revert back to what it had been was unthinkable to me. When others in the community stepped forward ready to  pick  up the reins when NMFL closed I was so deeply grateful for them. 

Over the years the board of NMFL has taken their fair share of knocks. And as much as I can say that I haven’t always agreed with them personally, I have had and will always have the deepest respect for what they did to and for this community.

Like many organizers I would not be surprised if the fantastic four are sitting down, knocking back a heavy drink, licking their wounds and remembering with bittersweet words their last few years.

I can only hope that their memories are not to bitter- and more sweet. 
That they remember that if not for them many many dreams would have been unrealized.

Thank  you fantastic four. You deserved better.

Monday, September 15, 2014

More Info onthe BBQ/Fun-raiser!

 I am so excited that you will be attending the BBQ/Fun- raiser/Potluck/Play party! It will be on Saturday the 27th from 4-9 and then 9-whenever! 

We are asking for a 5$ per person donation at the door- BUT it is not necessary to attend the event!  

ALL proceeds go to Bozo the canine’s cancer surgery.

Whatever you can give would be greatly appreciated. So if you can’t do the door- just bring your lovely self and a dish to share.  (We ask that no one brings chips, pretzels or cookies.)  Absolutely NO Alcohol allowed. This is a drug free event.

For the first part of the event there will be all sorts of silent auction/raffle items from play goodies to food to homemade bath and beauty products.

For those that wish to stay and play:  the Play starts at 9.

I have been contacted by people that are looking to play and be played with! So come with your toy bag!  There will be a space for needles, cutting, saline injections as well as our cross and couch for whatever play strikes your fancy. There will a cool down space as well. Nudity allowed on the deck.

Where the fun raising will continue-  BDSM style! 

Please contact me at fet:  my profile is :    Master__Bear

Or at my e mail:  bigdykebear@yahoo.com

Bozo's information  is here!


Sunday, September 14, 2014

BBQ/raffle/potluck and fun raising

Hello All!

On  Saturday the 27 we are having a BBQ/Potluck/Play party/Fun-Raiser starting at 4pm! 

Everyone is invited -

From  4-9 there will be BBQ/raffle/potluck and  fun  raising of various types for the cancer surgery of the undeniable canine Bozo!

From  9 until whenever there will be a play party that will also involve different types fun raising- 

Entry is free:  please bring a dish  to  share. (No chips, pretzels, or alcohol). This is a drug free environment.

More details to come as the event unfolds!

Please contact me here or at  bigdykebear@yahoo.com  for details.

Friday, September 12, 2014

When did BDSM become the catch all for stupid?

So maybe I am old, or missed it, or maybe it always was and I just had a blind eye. When did BDSM become the catch all for stupid? 

Recently I was online and on my feed where these really interesting pictures so I popped onto the profile to look. The first thing I saw was the woman having sex with a man that she identified as her 11th unknown sexual partner for the day. I thought it was hot. I have no issue with that. Multiple unknown sexual partners can be very exciting. So at first I thought AWESOME!   

Then I read on to where she bragged about it all being bareback. I stopped and leaned back into my chair. Bareback? Really? Bareback? I understand that the use of protection can affect the feel of the fantasy- but so does Herpes, Aids, Gonorrhea, Syphilis…. Her whole pussy just became a STD crock-pot that could not just infect her but everyone else that was fucking her as well.

(Side note here:  during the latent stage someone can have syphilis; be able to transmit it and be asymptomatic for anywhere between 5 and 20 years.) 

The next was a picture of her tied to a bed, some guy fucking her and the picture being taken as if through a barely open door.  This was explained as her being tied to the bed at a hotel and the door left open to whoever should come by. It was not specified as to where they were at an event or not. 

When the posters questioned the safety of this the poster (or their partner) remarked back that it was “her idea” and that “the other rooms had people in them and there was security patrolling the hotel”.  Then other posters came forward and said that “whenever they are in a hotel they leave the door open when they have sex…”

Do I really need to go in depth here?

When called on their actions- they simply said if they don’t like it get off her profile. That was their answer- get off their profile. When did this become BDSM? Blatantly dangerous vanilla nonconstual activity, that could lead to her death – had whoever passed by decided to close then lock and chain the door and then slit her throat, or was into asphyxiation but oops- went too far. All  of this being sought to have validity under the BDSM name.

Is this just me? Am I to much of an old fogey or prude? Am I missing something? To be clear I am not against sex with multiple strangers. I am all for it actually. I have had my fair share. 

I am against non protected sex with unknown people in any form. I am against blatantly unsafe practices and trying to make that OK by saying it is BDSM. 
Then  going on  to claim that they can do it because they are bad asses but the rest of us are just pussies because we dare to question the possibility that what they were doing was unsafe That this is all just jealousy because “we” don’t have the guts to  be as “real “ or “adventurous” as they are. 

Well in that aspect they are right-(except the jealous part) I will not tie my slave to a bed in a public building and leave the door open. I will not allow her to have unprotected sex with multiple strangers. I will not piss on the inability of vanilla (or even BDSM people for that matter) to consent just to get my jollies off. 

It angers me that people think this is BDSM and that this behavior is OK because it is put under the BDSM name. That those that don’t praise or exalt what they are doing are all just not daring enough, and because – Hey this is BDSM- people have no rights to criticize or ask a question about safety. 

This isn’t BDSM- this is Bullshit. 

And it needs to be called what it is- a Big Heaping Pile Of Bull Shit that potentially jeopardizes others physical health, safety, and welfare. The potential of harming another’s psychological safety, the potential of having those that both don’t understand and didn’t ask  to be a part of that game end up  in  the middle of that scene, and then  have to  deal  with  the aftermath, and the absolute disregard for consent. 

These people aren’t players- they are thrill seekers that set up others for harm. And Why? Because they can’t see past their own fantasies to own responsibility.

I can only hope that this is not where we as a community are headed. I can only hope that this is a minute minority of what this community is.

 Hopefully BDSM, although the catch all for stupid, does not allow itself to be the stupid, and this stays a variance from what the rest of the community is.

Friday, September 5, 2014


It is 2 am. I am awake here, at the computer with the new kitten Mogadeet in my arm lobbying for attention through criminal cuteness. I am up at 2 am because this question on my mind isn’t going away.

How do you love someone through something that scares you?

How do you find the strength or the words or the ability to give them what they need while keeping yourself in balance? How do you hold your own anger, rage, or fear in check to keep the focus on them? 

When I was 21 or so I had this horse that got an infection in her hoof. If I wasn’t able to draw it out with Epson salts then she was going to have to be put down. So twice a day, every day, I soaked her foot in hot water and salts for 45 minutes to an hour. 
I remember telling my Mom about how frustrated I was and she turned to me and said “this isn’t about you.”

My mare did end up recovering, and I walked away with a powerful lesson. 

So here I am now a good 20 years later and those words still come to me.

But now the situation is a lot more complex. It inst about just putting myself aside and being there for someone else, it is about dealing with how what I am hearing is making me feel- while trying to  remain  open  and supportive and loving. 
Even though what I am hearing is tearing at my core. Scaring me senseless, or making me feel powerless, helpless, and full of anger or fear- or both.

When it is happening I hold on to those words “this isn’t about me”, if it gets too much I ask for a break. I may even ask for it not to be discussed if it is too much for my brain and heart. I try to ask gently so as not to make things worse. I try to gently explain why so they don’t feel too rejected in their time of need.  I try to pick it up again later when I can, if I can. 

“It isn’t about me.” But it does affect me.  And some part of what is said stays with me. 

It is that part of loving someone. Knowing that sometimes loving them means knowing your own limits.  Recognizing that even though you love them, you won’t always have the right words, or the right way to support them, and sometimes for your own self- you can’t. 
It means not saying what you want to  say, what you are burning to  say- becasue you know that those words wont help. That you would only speak  those words to  lessen  your own discomfort.  That those  words will only turn their attention from  them to  you. And this needs to be about their pain, not your anger or fear.

So sometimes it means that you bite the inside of your mouth  until  it bleeds while you listen and hold them and love them- because being there for them is more important than anything else. 

Even if you aren’t the same afterwards. 

And that means is picking yourself up- not leaning on them to do it. Not asking them to comfort you. Because then they really couldn’t let themselves go- not really- not with the knowledge that they would pay for it later by having to taking care of you, while they are  taking care of them.

You  take care of you.

So that way- it really does get to be about them.

And sometimes that means being up at 2 am writing blogs so that they can have peace in their heart that they are loved.