I have written a book called "M/s for the Rest of Us" it is available for purchase here: http://www.lulu.com/shop/k-e-enzweiler/ms-for-the-rest-of-us/paperback/product-22151343.html

Or on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Rest-Us-K-E-Enzweiler/dp/1329062213/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1432825657&sr=1-2&keywords=m%2Fs+for+the+rest+of+us

I am the founder of the Albuquerque Masters Group. We meet once every other month. The group is open to all who wish to explore their Mastery, slavery, or Dominance and submission. Please contact me here or at my email : Bigdykebear@yahoo.com for more information!
The meetings are free to all who wish to attend!

If you are interested in power munches, skills workshops or play parties in the Albuquerque area please contact the 20 year organization of AEL at:


If you are interested in active online community please find:


Group names for the Albuquerque Community Include:

Land Of Enchantment Fetlifers

Albuquerque Kinksters

KinkySpot Clubhouse

Albuquerque Master/slave forum

New Mexico Leather League: Leather/Kink/Fetish and More

Friday, February 26, 2016

Don’t Accept HATE as COMEDY.

*********TRIGGER WARNING********

 I can’t remember the last time I walked out of a movie while it was still going. I have done it before, but it has been years. Last weekend my slave and I went on a Deadpool binge. If you haven’t seen it- then shame on you. Go out and give that bisexual, fireball of a super “hero” your money! OMG!!!  COME ON!!! There is a pegging scene!!!!   We LOVE Deadpool and saw it twice over the weekend.

At one point I really pushed for us to see Zoolander 2.  We had both really enjoyed the first Zoolander.  It was camp, fun, gay fabulous, sex positive, and only slightly fat phobic but it is a movie about fashion. What counterbalanced the fat phobia was that the stupid was so incredulous that it picked fun at the fat phobia.  So I was excited to see the second one. 

Even though I had gotten a random warning from a random co –worker that the movie was up for a Razzie. I thought “well- the tailors look OK- let’s give it a try, and if it is truly awful then we have Deadpool to fall back on”.  So we went in. Me with a hopeful heart, and my slave with an “I hope that I don’t have to divorce her after this” heart. 

Spoiler alert- she was right.  

I would like to say that it is 2016 and our film industry has caught up with our complex and growing needs as consumers.  Come on- stop laughing. Dreams can come true, pink monkeys can fly out of my butt. 

So Zoolander 2 not only took Trans phobia to the next level,   the looks-ism and classism were truly uncompromising, and the fat phobia was blatantly through the roof.  

The trans phobia centered around the introduction of “ALL”.  A trans character who was used as a comic point when it was asked if the main character, Zoolander, would be happy and proud if his son brought “ALL” home. Assuming that Zoolander’s son would be engaged to “ALL”. I was stunned, that piece went on for about 4 minutes or so, as Zoolander tries not to squirm and vomit. 

 At one point one of the main charters, Hansel, took off a mask covering his eye and part of his cheek. Zoolander went ballistic about how hideous Hansel was and begged him to recover his unspeakable features. They then panned to the scarred face.  I knew it was coming- it was a tiny “Z” shaped scar. Almost invisible, completely beautiful, and without a single jagged edge. I got a little nauseous.

I have had to come to   terms with the 4 inch scar on my forehead. I haven’t thought of it as hideous in a long time. And it usually doesn’t occur to me that others would- 

We stayed. I don’t know why, as it continued to go downhill.  

It was soon after that when Zoolander and Hansel actually said OUT LOUD that Zoolander's kid being fat made him a bad person. AND because of that Zoolander was not willing to take his own motherless son out of an orphanage, and had to be talked out of walking away from his own son completely. 

Because his son was fat.  That is the only reason. 

From there the overriding premise was that the bad guy was doing Zoolander the most amount of damage by making sure his son was fat. Not that his son had lost his mother at an early age, not that he was taken away from  Zoolander by foster care and force to live in an orphanage.  Those things were all  massive unimportant in comparison to his being fat. 

 I wanted to leave right there, but honestly, I was in denial about what I was seeing.  

It was when the bad guy kidnapped Zoolander's son  and was going to  force him  to  eat pasta, when we got up and walked. 

I am still trying to shake this message. This horrific message.  

I know the other end of the argument: “ It is a comedy about fashion, what did I expect? Didn’t I set myself up for this by going in the first place?” 

Those are fair points.

If you are an idiot. 

Why does me wanting to see a comedy about fashion mean that trans, looks, and fat phobia are a given?

  A comedy shouldn’t automatically be hateful.

Deadpool  was amazingly funny, telling,  and brilliant. It was comedy that made you think, snort, and want more. 

Not that made you walk away feeling like there was something wrong with you.

We came home and watched Spy with Melissa McCarthy. It was healing. 

I think my overall message here is:  

Don’t ACCEPT HATE as COMEDY. Not in the movies, not in your daily, lives, not in your online interactions, and especially not from each other.

Hold each other accountable.


Friday, February 19, 2016

Those are the actions of a coward.

Empowered slaves make better, more skilled Masters.  

I am in absolute opposition to the idea that a Master becomes empowered by belittling, destroying, or breaking down the slave. I feel that those are the actions of a coward.  

And don't give me that tired line about how a slave needs to be “taught their place" or "learn respect" that is horse shit.

If you are too incompetent to lead, do us all a favor and stay home.

WE are all adults here, and a Master that needs to destroy a slave to “rebuild them” is only using another person’s body and psyche to act out their own insecurities.

I love my slave strong, empowered, a force to be reckoned with, and capable. These qualities in no way take away from her service, identity, or ability to submit.

My slave’s abilities force me to be stronger, better, and more adept in my ownership of her. 

And even then- as a Master I do not believe that I have to be smarter or somehow more than my slave. That is another fallacy that incompetent, emotionally insecure Masters put out there. I am not less of a Master because she has skills, talents, and abilities that I don't. I am not less of a Master because my slave is more capable in some areas of life then I am. And I refuse to allow my identity of Master diminish her light. 

Those are the actions of a coward.

Those are actions that I see Masters and Dominants do over and over.  The only way that they feel empowered is at the expense of their "s" type. 
So these amazing "s" types - beautiful, brilliant, talented, skilled, and driven become these shells because they are lead to believe that their prowess in life takes away from who they serve.

The "s" types downplay their intelligence, accomplishments, and desires because who they serve have egos that view those strengths as a threat to their sense of self and their Mastery. 
Again the actions of a coward. 

I love showcasing my slave, I love bragging about her. 
I am a better person because of what she pushes herself to accomplish.




Friday, February 12, 2016

Like a baby or a carrot........

Last year I published a book called “M/s for the Rest of Us”. It was the second book that I have written the first one that I have published. The first edition was a real push to get out by Spring Pan. My editor and I worked tirelessly, she more then I, to reach the deadline.  That meant that the original edition went out with some interesting mistakes in it. The second edition was more widely spread and corrected those initial “ooops”.  

People have had interesting reactions to the book overall.  While I have completely struggled with how to receive those that approach me saying that they bought it, or are expecting it in the mail. It was a labor of love right from the beginning. I feel the overall vibe is positive. I get these amazing updates from  my editor – who  does math- my book  is currently in the top  7% of all  “self help” books and currently in  the top 17% of all  books on Amazon. It is also being nominated for a Geoff Mains award for BDSM nonfiction. That is amazing to me.  

On one hand I am completely taken aback by the numbers. Those numbers are beyond my understanding, I think. And on the other I think, Wow.  Love it or hate it, at least they are buying it. 

Honestly though, on day to day basis I don’t really know what to think or feel. When someone comes up to me and says that they have read my book, the first thing that I feel is taken aback, followed directly by fear. I am terrified that I will come across as this ego centric “kiss my hand before you speak” kind of person. I want to be relatable and approachable. So I freeze. Then I say something self deprecating. To make myself feel more comfortable. Not a good idea, but what I resorted to, and overall a surprise to me. 

I explained this to my editor who promptly blew her top at me.  Wise and brave woman that she is. She explained to me that I need to stop thinking about the book like it is “a me thing”. The book is its own thing now, its own life, and I need to honor that.  

This stopped me in my tracks.  She was right.  What I do from now on needs to nurture it and not me.  It needs to be about the books growth first. Like a baby or a carrot.......

 And after that I can think of myself and my growth. How I am going to learn more and become stronger.  How that is all part of the learning process, and criticism will help with growth.

So I am right here going to take that first step   in my own growth. In Putting the book before myself as its own thing.  OK here goes.   

For those of you that have read it I ask that you please put your review Amazon. This will help the book to have a life and grow. I would greatly appreciate it.


For those of you that have bought books- I would love to discuss what you thought and If you would like and haven’t already had it happen, sign them for you. 

For those of you that would like a copy, but can’t afford it right now, contact me. I can help with that in exchange for your review on Amazon. 

For those of you that have no idea what I am talking about go here:


Whew-  ok break. 

Thursday, February 4, 2016

Share the Love!

 Fundraiser for Casa Q!

Casa Q's mission is to provide safe living options and services for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer and questioning (LGBTQ) youth, and allies who are at risk of or experiencing homelessness.

Saturday, February 06, 2016 · 7:00 PM until 10:00 PM   

Sidewinders Bar (21+)  8900 central  


Join us at Sidewinders as we celebrate and share the love of our community! Enjoy entertainment, vie to win coveted treasures in the silent auction, watch Mr and Ms Corazón Leather 2015 receive their title patches, and much, much more!

The silent auction will include items like:

an AEL Party package
Art from several artists
Body product baskets
Books from local kink/leather authors
Books from national kink authors
Classes from several community education sources
Hand-knitted scarves
Legal Fees ($1000) gift certificates
Massage gift certificates
A NMLL Pan Package
Waxing gift certificates (This professional does brazilian waxing for men and women!)

An amazing Valentines day package that includes 4 Gold Level Seats at the Boyz II Men concert at Route 66 Casino on Feb 14 and a gift certificate for the Best in ABQ Buffet Dinner!

The entertainment will include: 

A bawdy song by Mr. Corazón Leather, burlesque by Alex, single tail whips by Alibi, the musical styling of the lovely Sherri, and an aerial performance by Avery!

Whether we are asexual, bi, gay, straight, transgender, transsexual, queer, single, partnered, grouped, members of a house... we are all part of a community family and on February 6th we will "Share the Love" with Casa Q!