This project of love was such a joy.
I have written a book called "M/s for the Rest of Us" it is available for purchase here: http://www.lulu.com/shop/k-e-enzweiler/ms-for-the-rest-of-us/paperback/product-22151343.html
Or on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Rest-Us-K-E-Enzweiler/dp/1329062213/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1432825657&sr=1-2&keywords=m%2Fs+for+the+rest+of+us
I am the founder of the Albuquerque Masters Group. We meet once every other month. The group is open to all who wish to explore their Mastery, slavery, or Dominance and submission. Please contact me here or at my email : Bigdykebear@yahoo.com for more information! The meetings are free to all who wish to attend!
If you are interested in power munches, skills workshops or play parties in the Albuquerque area please contact the 20 year organization of AEL at:
If you are interested in active online community please find:
Group names for the Albuquerque Community Include:
Land Of Enchantment Fetlifers
Albuquerque Master/slave forum
New Mexico Leather League: Leather/Kink/Fetish and More
Friday, September 27, 2013
There are those experiences in life that are just amazing blessings. I few months back I was asked to preside over a collaring ceremony. I was so flattered by the invite, but also honestly hesitant because I got to thinking “why me?” I am not certified to do ceremonies, I have never done one before, I have only been to two collaring ceremonies and one of them was ours- so I felt really unprepared.
But over time I thought, I think that I can do some good here. I think that I could make this special for them. So I met with Master T and slave z, and I found that what I lacked in experience I made up for in organization, enthusiasm, and love.
Over the next month while they were preparing for their ceremony we were moving into a new house, I was staring school,fighting off a lung infection, and beginning the AMG, all the while thinking that I was crazy for accepting this new project and fearing that I would not be able to do it justice.
As it turns out I had a whole cadre of people in the wings with me, helping out, lending a hand, being there to bring what they could to support the collaring ceremony. So I was so grateful that I had agreed to do this despite my own challenges. The night of the rehearsal went very smoothly everything was blocked out and people were more comfortable with were they were going to stand and walk, there was lots of laughter. That night some of the wedding party stayed and helped my slave and I decorate the dungeon in the wedding colors. I was so grateful, and said it multiple times, that I was working with someone that had no issue taking direction. I had the biggest smile on my face. I felt so lucky and blessed to be a part of this.
Their ceremony was beautifully choreographed by Maser T, he had everything down to the letter and the last minute glitches were seamless in the ceremony. After the collar was locked Master T led his slave over to the cross and they began their scene. Everyone that attended sat and watched as they played. The crowd was so vested in the couple that they even applauded when it was over. Afterwards everyone ate and played while the wedding party attended to the couple. It was so beautiful to watch a cohesive family take care of each other.
At that point I was on fire.
I played three times that night, a first for me. Each scene was different in its own way, and I surprised myself at my own ability to come up with three unique scenes with my only toys being my hands and the plastic utensils from the buffet table.
I am pretty sure I was all libido.
I also got to see others play that I hadn’t seen before, and I loved watching their dynamics. It was beautiful, intense, and lovingly powerful.
Behind the scenes however, my slave and I were driving on fumes to get to the ceremony and back home again. Although we won’t be this poor forever, and things are starting to change, we had expected some money to come in and it hadn’t yet, so we were really tight, but this was also nothing new for us. So we did what we always do- we lied about why we couldn’t go places that week! We also joked about being poor, we always do. But that night someone must have been listening, and listening to well- they left us a gift on the van as we were leaving.
That gift shocked and surprised us both. We both stood there in the rain staring at the gift taped to our door. Stunned. That gift- for whoever gave it- bought food for the horses for the next two days (we were out of hay until the money came in) and got us back home.
That gift, that night, that experience will stay with me forever. I am so deeply grateful that I was asked to do this. I will carry that love, that joy, and that lust with me forever. Thank you Master T and slave z for inviting me into your home, and for trusting me even though I had no experience.
This project of love was such a joy.
This project of love was such a joy.
Friday, September 20, 2013
One of the classes that I am taking is on how culture affects ones view of medical care and services. How culture can effect, delay, or stop treatment, even to the point of death. Primarily the class is dealing with cultures were the people don’t speak the primary language of the medical staff, and when things like eye contact , touch, or gender of the health care worker can make or break the patients acceptance of what is being said about their health or disease, as well as their follow up care such as medications, follow up appointments, dressing changes and lifestyle changes that sometimes need to occur with diagnoses.
As I read these books and articles I think about the mass amounts of transgendered, GLBTQI, and BDSM folks out there who won’t seek medical care because of the medical communities current views, and how in essence we as a BDSM culture are a different culture then the vanilla folk. What we view as normal and functional translates in the medical community as the reportable offenses of domestic violence, sexual assault, battery, and on and on.
So how do we as a culture walk that line of being honest with our health care professionals and educating them without getting ourselves and our partners sent to jail? How do we know when we should be speaking out about what is going on in our relationships, and when it is best to just remain quiet?
It is my belief that any sex related question is on the table for health care workers, everything from deep throat, to multiple partner sex, to varied types of penetration of any orifice. If the Dr can’t handle the question, becomes uncomfortable talking openly about sex concerns, or changes the subject without giving resources, it is time to get a new Dr.
This isn’t 1813, it is 2013 and Dr's need to be able to communicate openly and honestly about sex and sexual concerns, and if they aren’t able to answer your questions, they need to have resources for other people that can.
BDSM is one of those gray lines that even we as a culture sometimes have a difficulty in determining what protocol is and what is abuse. So I think it is unrealistic for us to expect the medical community to catch up to what we can’t define.
Play that leaves marks is a tricky area for the medical l community. Consider this- someone comes into their Dr with marks but questions regarding another medical condition. The Dr asks what happened; the patent says “it was consensual” the Dr notes the marks in the chart as well as the patient’s response and moves on to other parts of the assessment. Down the line that person is looking to get out of their relationship maybe have full custody of the kids and the Dr is subpoenaed for physical evidence of what was viewed during that exam. How far will the Dr saying “it was consensual” fly in a court of law then? So the Dr looks at losing their license for not reporting possible abuse. Ugly but possible.
Sometimes I get lucky and I have a chance to talk about BDSM to other health care practitioners. I stress that is usually consensual and pre negotiated but I see the confusion and resistance on their faces. On the job the topic will come up from time to time (thanks Rhiannon the singer) and I will talk fairly openly but with some reservation about BDSM versus abuse. I already openly discuss being poly, being gay, some issues in the GLBTQI community and sex workers, so the leap into BDSM is easier for me, I think.
But I understand where the medical community is coming from when it comes to the gray line of BDSM and how it can conflict with their responsibility to report suspected abuse; it is after all a felony for a medical professional to not report abuse.
So I think -just like all things- this will take time, and right now we are in that interesting phase of media acceptance putting us into the social conscience, and starting discussions, the place where people in general are getting to know the terminology which is always the start to a better understanding of each other. Other things will follow, and who knows what it will mean for us as a culture?
Being able to go into the Dr and say “those whip marks are from last night, but what I would really like you to look at…..”
How cool would that be?
Friday, September 13, 2013
Self Serve and I are doing a collective project of me teaching one on ones at the store. I am so excited about this. It is the opportunity for me to reach a different population. Such as people that can’t be public or are not comfortable coming into community for whatever reason but want to learn skills or about BDSM. Or maybe just want one on one attention because they learn better that way.
I do have a one reservation though, to make it cost efficient for the store to do the lessons they will have to be a little pricey. Also, I don’t feel right accepting money for one on one training, but my slave is really concerned that we will over extend ourselves by doing this, and wants us to take some for gas. My feeling is that whatever extra is made needs to go to charity. So this has become quite the discussion here. I know that she is right, that we aren’t financially stable enough to turn away gas money at this point, but I really feel that there are those that are hurting way worse than us and community service should come first. On the flip side- a person can’t do community service if they can’t get to where they are going, so it is something that I am wresting with.
But I am really excited about teaching these types of classes, getting really into the nitty gritty and having my salve teach as well. I love her insight and ability to really tune into people.
Currently I am, or rather we are, teaching a class a month or so at Self Serve. The next one is Tuesday September 10th on ‘finding your inner dominant.” Then in October I am doing BDSM basics on the 15th, and a flogging class on the 29th.
I love the finding your inner dominant class. I love working with people and watching their confidence grow, their questions come out and the surprise on their faces when they make the crotch to dominance or crotch to submission connection. Lots of blushing and laughter!
The BDSM basics is a new class that I am teaching, it is a combination of BDSM 101 and getting up and doing. Experimenting with blindfolds, bondage, toys around the store, or toys brought from home. The idea is to take the concept of BDSM 101 and make it interactive. In my opinion BDSM is about doing and experiencing not about listening to someone talk about it. So I am curious to see how it goes.
The flogging class is always one of my favorites. It is such a challenge to teach because everyone has a different skill level. Meeting each person where they are and thinking about how to either break down what they are doing to start at a different place or at a slower pace, or take them to that next step through skill or movement or dealing with their emotions.
Honestly I never thought that I would be doing this. I never thought that I would be at a place where I would be teaching consistently and that I would be getting such wonderful feedback. This is like a dream come true! Also to be doing it with my slave by my side, watching how she is so skilled in her way, different then mine.
Wow. Just Wow.
How did I get so lucky?
I think it is possible that I just might have the best life ever. Yep.
Saturday, September 7, 2013
Friday, September 6, 2013
This Saturday is the second meeting of the AMG, the Albuquerque Maters Group. I am so excited about this part of the project. It is where the‘s’ types get to come and the Masters get to experiment and learn from each other. The event is free and will provide drinks, plates, utensils, napkins and cups while the attendees are being asked to bring a dish to share.
The intention of this is to provide a space where Masters get to try their hands at different ways of being served without the pressure of being at an event. In this space it is ok to try something that fails, or that doesn’t feel right, or to ask questions of others about how to refine or how to do something a little differently.
I really wanted to create a space that is open and candid for other Masters to experience their relationships in different ways as well as providing a low pressure environment for slaves to learn new skills, it is here that can come and not think that they are going to be watched for mistakes or torn apart by others watching them. They are supposed to make mistakes here; both Masters and slaves are and maybe even laugh a time or two at themselves as they learn.
The other part of the AMG project that I am very happy to introduce is the “ram it in the can” can. It is the can where all of the community donations go. The idea behind that is that the group supports other parts of the community. People are encouraged to give whatever they can and all proceeds go to supporting the education of the Albuquerque community, by financially supporting the groups that bring in those opportunities.
I was thinking that maybe in the future we will support the outside areas to. I would love to donate to VI Johnson’s leather library, NCSF, The Outpost or NMAS. So to create incentive to give to the community, as soon as the group reaches 500$ I will shave off my braid. Now as has been pointed out before “so Keli, what makes your braid worth 500$?” Well, it isn’t. But giving back is priceless, and if it is what I can do to keep the group talking and giving, then that works for me.
I am very excited to talk with other Masters about what new things that they want to try and get new ideas for myself on skills, not just play skills, but service skills.
I have also invited singles to come that way people that are "M" or "s" identified but aren’t in relationships can find each other, or socialize, or ask someone for the chance to serve them or speak with other slaves about their service.
I know that I have all of these altruistic things in my head, I see butterflies, and bunnies, and yum yum trees. I also know that the reality is that I have my work cut out for me. Not everyone has the same sense of what respect is, or good manners, or proper etiquette. Even if they do know these things it is really easy to mess up and go too far. I do. Probably too often, now that I think about it.
So it will be a balance, between the love of the project and the reality of the group dynamic, as these projects always are.
But right now it is the day before and I am still in yum yum tree land! WHEE!
Also I want to put out a very very special thank you to Baby Bear who is allowing us to come in and intrude on her personal space for the evening! Thank you!