Wild Ride- make sure to wipe your butt.......

The last two  weeks have been  a wild ride.  I was lucky enough  to  teach the BDSM 101 class at Self Serve. It was a blast!  Each  couple and single had their own energy and dynamic. Some went home horny, others went home to  argue. Some went home informed and excited, others went home with a little more information and that all  important question- 

"Is this really for me?"

I knew that the class was going well when  I told the attendees that it was time to end their practice time so  we could share our experiences  and everyone stared daggers at me!  People were so PISSED that they had to  stop all the fun they were having! 

That made me laugh.

Next up  was the meeting of the Albuquerque Masters Group, the AMG. This meeting was for both the "M" and the "s" types. It was really well  attended, and the discussion  was lively and honest. 
At one point, I would like to say, it got a little raw for me as my slave openly talked about what I am  like when I am  angry.
Although I understood intelletcully the need for the information  to  be out there-  it was rough  hearing it from  her end.


 Another part that sticks in  my mind was  when I the group  asked about dealing with  anger and the concepts of being the Master over yourself.

My slave answered that one in a way that I had never  considered before. she said that when  the concept of Masters having Mastery  over themselves  started circulating, it had a tremendous affect on the slave community because it meant  that the slave wasn't responsible for everything that went wrong in the relationship.  This finally introduced the concepts such as  if the Master was noncompliant medically,  it was because they were not Mastering themselves, which was a refreshing from the assumption  that this was a failure on the slaves part.

This was a huge revelation for me.


It was worth  it to  listen to her openly talk about my anger and how she feels around it,  to get to  this point in  the conversation.

The AMG meeting made me walk away with both a  stark reminder and appreciation of the price of candor.  Transparency.


Then  the next night was the AEL munch.
It was so  powerful!  Roughhouse talked about  "what to  do  when  the police come knocking?"

He gave actual , usable advise on  what to  do  when and if the police come to  your door when  play is going on inside.
It was powerful, resonating, and beautifully presented.
I felt so  honored to know Roughhouse and be a part of such  an amazing presentation that answered questions that I have had for years.

So that is the last two  weeks in  one wild ride.

In between  this and that- I have been chugging away at school and work, and trying to find time to  wipe my butt.


Which  I found out is waaay more important then it seems....

Two types of Death

Last week my boy Roo got out. When we returned my slave found him dead in the garden. I buried him that night.

There are two types of death. Good death and bad death.

We are owed nothing by this world. 

But my only hope is that I have is that those that do   have to go are able to go with a good death.   

Quick, painless, without mental, emotional, or spiritual suffering for those that pass and those that surround them.

My boy was not so lucky in this life. My hope is that he will be in his next life.

For my Roo.  My little man. You will be missed. 

AMG this Sunday

Hello all The Albuquerque Master Group  is this Sunday form 4-6.
This time is is for the M and s types.
Singles are welcome.
Please bring a dish  to share.


If you are interested in a Masters or slaves journey,  partnered or single, wanting to  try a new protocol ,or a new way of service. If you have questions, or just want to learn  and talk  with others of like mind please join us..


Contact me on  fetlife or at bigdykebear@yahoo.com  for host house details.

A Box Full of Scarves That Smell Good

So a couple of  weeks ago we got in our tax return. For the most part, we did all of the responsible things such as pay on several past due bills and then we needed to think about what to do with the money that was left. 

For years at the old house, I had made promises to my slave that I knew that I couldn’t keep, and here I was with the opportunity to make things happen for her so I jumped on it with Both feet!!

 My slave has a room that belongs to her, which is very important because she is a house slave and she needs to have something where she can create and be herself. About a month ago, I needed a piece of cloth for a project that I was working on and I went into her room and realized what she had been dealing with. The closet had no innards so to speak, so all of her stuff was still in boxes on the ground. Because of space and organizational limitations, she hadn’t been able to unpack anything.  That is when it hit me!  Whatever money was left was going to go into fixing her room up. I wanted to make this room a joy for her as she learns and grows in her root work. 

So we sat down and reorganized her room. What did she need to make this space really work? We are now at the fun part where everything is ordered and  paid for, and  we are just waiting for everything to come in and be installed. There is a new window coming in, a closet organizer, new closet doors, and a new light/ fan. After everything is put in, a new paint job with custom tile work is next on the plate.

I am so thrilled!!

 After so many years of having to put her own needs on the back burner, I was finally able to splurge on her. I was finally able to provide all that she desired and more. It felt like such amazing accomplishment!  I am excited for her as the pieces come in a little at a time. The window is a custom job that will be ready in about 3 or more weeks, the new doors are in, the fan/light has been shipped as has the new closet organizer, which will allow her to hang her belly dance costumes up.

It was only a few hours after everything was ordered and the window guy and the handyman had left that my slave started to slowly deconstruct.  Okay, that’s a lie.  She  quickly deconstructed.

All of her fears about how much  we spent, how she didn’t feel worthy, and how she struggled with this being about her had caused her to implode.

It was a deconstruction that lasted a few weeks. 

And every time that she did it I would remind her by asking, “how many times were your needs put on the back burner because of the horses? Or an emergency or the old house exploding? How many time did your needs go unfulfilled so that others could have? Don’t you think that after all of this time you have earned this?”

And now- I get to do this for her, I get to care for her- I get to give her that box full of scarves that smell good- because she deserves that. 

My slave always has…

Squishy Squishy Brain

A lot of amazing things happened this week.

We had an incredible dinner party at route 66 buffet. Lots of love.

This week  we redesigned my slaves herb room.

It will take about three months to  finish-  but it is all paid for.  Lots of love.

I am  in  the middle of mid terms. My brain  is a squishy squishy mess.

I can  only take in  little bits of information at a time-  given slowly-  in little groups of small  words.


So here are is pretty pretty pictures:

Ok  so  I thought that I would have the brain  power to  put in  more them one.....  Nope...