I have written a book called "M/s for the Rest of Us" it is available for purchase here: http://www.lulu.com/shop/k-e-enzweiler/ms-for-the-rest-of-us/paperback/product-22151343.html

Or on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Rest-Us-K-E-Enzweiler/dp/1329062213/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1432825657&sr=1-2&keywords=m%2Fs+for+the+rest+of+us

I am the founder of the Albuquerque Masters Group. We meet once every other month. The group is open to all who wish to explore their Mastery, slavery, or Dominance and submission. Please contact me here or at my email : Bigdykebear@yahoo.com for more information!
The meetings are free to all who wish to attend!

If you are interested in power munches, skills workshops or play parties in the Albuquerque area please contact the 20 year organization of AEL at:


If you are interested in active online community please find:


Group names for the Albuquerque Community Include:

Land Of Enchantment Fetlifers

Albuquerque Kinksters

KinkySpot Clubhouse

Albuquerque Master/slave forum

New Mexico Leather League: Leather/Kink/Fetish and More

Friday, December 28, 2012

2012- love and loss, and love again.

As I look at 2012 I see the depth of the darkness that I have never seen, and even though that is true, I can only say that 2012 was a year of love.

When I knew it was time for my beloved Bo to go to the crossroads, a pair of loved and cherished friends made his passing kind, and comfortable. He passed at his home and I was able to tell stories of his life and bury him under the big tree in the front.

When I was losing my grip on reality and I was yelling, screaming, and shrieking,  I was loved, heard, and supported by someone who should have washed their hands of me and left.

When I was lying in bed for days paralyzed by fear my slave saw through her own loneliness, pain, and terror. She loved me so gently, so completely that I am still grateful for what most have been  some very long days for her.

When I finally admitted that the darkness was too great and I was losing my battle. My leather brother loved and talked to me and made me feel safe and became my lifeline. He did not judge me, only let me know that he was there any time day or night.

When I stopped eating and stopped talking my slave put herself on the back burner and through her reading me stories and scratching my back and talking so softly she gave me her light.  

When I could no longer see myself as a Master, because  I had failed myself, my slave, and my community, it was  my leather brother who brought out his best Jewish accent and with love put my words back to me, so I could see them more clearly.

When I was irrational,  insane, abusive, controlling, and manipulative  I was loved and helped and listened to through my fear, until months later I could grab onto my own  sanity again.

This last year was the darkest of my adult life. If it were not for the efforts of my slave and my chosen family who gave so much of themselves so consistently, so lovingly, so freely I don’t know how I would have recovered.

2012 was a year that brought me to my knees more than once.  Although I will never wish to repeat that time, I can say that I was so deeply loved during that time, and that has given me strength.

Here is to 2013.  Hopefully this year I can give back the love that was given to  me.

R.I.P.  My Beloved Bo 1995-2012

Friday, December 21, 2012

AEL Kinkskills celebrates 2012

I love spending time reviewing what AEL Kinkskills has achieved over the past year, consider it ego stroking through mental masturbation.  But I have a deep love for this project and everyone that makes it possible from the host homes to the teachers to the attendees!  Thank you all of giving AEL Kinkskills another successful year! 

In January we kicked off with canes and caning by G. The teacher went all out; he made canes for everyone and even auctioned off a free flogger to one lucky winner!  He ran through several caning techniques, and then did one on ones with people after they had a chance to practice. We even had one person who came without a partner but caned the heck out of herself!!! Our host house Mrs. B was amazing, every time that she hosts she lays out food in the spirit of the event- so while everyone was busy caning themselves and others, I was happily snaking on canes of food!

In March Lady golden and Slave lou saved my butt because I screwed up on the date of the workshop and was without a host house! At the last minute they came in and gave us a place to land. WhipDaddy did a great workshop on breast bondage that covered everything from large to small women as well as men. I got to sit back and watch as people took what WhipDaddy taught and made it their own!  Fascinating! 

In May we had Roughouse teach an impact play class. Personally I love impact, and was really getting into the class when I offered for my slave to give it a go on me. At first she was hesitant, and then I said “3 am sex” (I love waking her up at 3 am for sex) and she walloped me so hard I went flying!  I followed that up by saying “socks on the floor”, and she was on a roll. She has quite a punch, and so for a while she would just walk up and punch me on the back!  I would be sitting at the computer, or working on a project and she would walk up and WHAM!  This has served to get me horny and put me under all at the same time!

In July Mrs. B taught needle bondage. I don’t get to do needles often, and I loved the opportunity to “bond “people together and  bond parts of people to themselves. I am very surprised what happens when you bind breasts together while they are in a bra, and then release the bra!! At that point it is the needled corset that is keeping the breasts in place!!! SWEET!!!!!

In September we had the amazing Travis of Tease with make your own flogger. He was as always wonderfully prepared and amazingly good at teaching.  At the end of the class people went their own ways and made handles that were very unique. After the class was over everyone walked away with a beautiful flogger that was really a part of them!

Unfortunately due to my own date conflicts and an unexpected illness, we were not able to complete our year with wax as planned, but I really look forward to what next year holds!

 Thank you so very much to G, Stan, Roughouse, Mrs. B, and Travis for your amazing teaching!
 And thank you so very much to Mrs. B, lady Golden, slave lou, and Thorn for providing some amazing host houses for the year!

I am so grateful to all of you!!!!

Friday, December 14, 2012

Playing with Liquid Nitrogen!!!!

When I first read the announcement that the New Mexico Fetlifer’s board was having a workshop on “how to use liquid nitrogen in play” I thought “are these people crazy? Isn’t liquid nitrogen - you know—dangerous?  And expensive???”   But it didn’t take long for my curiosity to take over, and when the day came I was so excited!

The workshop was given by Dr Clockwork; as a teacher I was very impressed. Not only was he knowledgeable, but he made even difficult concepts like “science” easy for me to understand.  In the beginning of the workshop Dr Clockwork explained about the liquid nitrogen. So I will do my best to rehash what I understood. However, this is by no means a tutorial!!!!  So please contact Dr Clockwork at his website for classes, questions, and supplies. 

You can find him here:  http://www.drclockwork.com

So what makes people able to play with liquid nitrogen is that it evaporates as soon as it hits the air.  So as long as the liquid is moving it is quickly evaporating at the same time. The liquid is surrounded by a cloud of its own gas. This means that the liquid itself never hits the skin the evaporated gas does. As a good friend explained later- it is like air hokey. The puck is the liquid and it floats in the air surrounded by a cloud of its own gas.  (Insert giggle here…)

If the liquid stops moving- like you hold it in your hands- it stops evaporating and the liquid will burn your hands, like frostbite. If the liquid gets trapped in a body fold, a piece of clothing, jewelry, even body hair  then it will stop moving causing it to  stop evaporating and  then burn the skin.  So it was important that the demo bottom be completely naked, including jewelry.

I was advised against freezing an object and inserting it anywhere, even though the core body temperature would warm the object, the  initial  cold and insertion  would create a sticking to the  object by the inside of the body.  So no to insert-ables…… I did notice a lot of people backed away from me after I asked that question……

Liquid nitrogen is stored in a big thermos called a “Doer”. The top is not screwed on, but rather a foam plug that can pop off if the internal pressure becomes too much. Otherwise the doer would essentially become a bomb. That also means that if the thermos falls over there is nothing to stop the liquid nitrogen from pouring out, so should it spill in an enclosed space the gas would become lethal within seconds.

The only expensive part of the play is the initial expense of the doer.  Looking them up online you can get some for around 300-500$, but they last forever. Dr Clockwork explained that around ten liters of liquid nitrogen cost him about 15$, and that is more than enough for an entire weekend of play.

When Dr Clockwork poured liquid nitrogen all over the demo bottom it hit her body and immediately balled up into little beads. When it fell off the demo bottom and hit the floor it made a hissing noise and became a cloud of gas. The demo bottom explained that it felt really cold, and she was flopping all over the table because the beads were headed towards her ---well- peeper.  So she was constantly whacking at herself to get the beads off of her peeper parts….

At one point Dr Clockwork poured the liquid nitrogen down my arm...  It felt just like water.  Honestly I think that I was too scared to feel the cold part, but it was really exciting!

 Then Dr Clockwork took a marshmallow and froze it, and people were able to eat them! It was when he stuck a rose in the glass of liquid nitrogen freezing it sold that he was able to beat the bottom with it, when the rose shattered on the bottoms butt, it filled the room with the smell of roses. 

It was really awesome to watch a rose shatter! I volunteered for it to be done to me, and was really surprised when he hit my arm with the rose and it broke into pieces. 

After a while I came up and took a rose and stuck it into the cup, I watched as it boiled and bubbled in the liquid nitrogen  and when I pulled it out the rose was cold, stiff, and frozen. I broke it on the demo bottom’s butt, and then brought up my slave. I put another rose into the glass and pulled it out and ran the gas up and down my slaves arm, and then I broke the rose on her! It was AWESOME!

Lastly I had the opportunity to hold the liquid nitrogen in my hands. Dr Clockwork explained that anything over about 3 seconds would burn, so he was going to pour it in my hands then I was to count to three and do “Jazz hands” dropping the liquid. 

It was AWESOME! I was a TOTAL BAD ASS, and when I held the liquid I could finally feel the cold.

I was so thrilled about the workshop- that was a once in a lifetime time opportunity for me.  Thank you to NMFL and Dr Clockwork for such an amazing Sunday afternoon!!!!

Friday, December 7, 2012

BDSM and Spirituality

OK I am just going to say it.

I do not understand people who say that BDSM is spiritual for them. I honestly  just don't get it. As I think about it, that is probably because I view spirituality in  pretty narrow terms.  

For me spirituality is about a personal internal connection with  a higher power. For me BDSM is about a personal internal connection to another person, or persons. So I have trouble understanding how someone can view BDSM  activities as part of their  spiritual path.

I understand  that suffering and self infliction of pain have been used by people for centuries of all religions and spiritual beliefs. These acts help the person deal with  emotional pain, guilt, show devotion, act to purify, or show empathy to their ancestors or spiritual and religious icons.   
I get that using pain to create an intense psychological and emotional space for some is a gateway for transcendence.

I view what those people do to be an  intentional personal self inflicted activity used specifically for the intensifying of  their spiritual connection.

It is hard for me to take that thought process and understand how a person can equate those things with modern day BDSM. 

I am not saying that play cannot create transcendence, clarity, and connection, it can  and does. What I am saying is that when I play I am looking for that experience with who I am playing with, and my spirituality is separate from that.  ( Even though it is common for my slave to scream for god....) 

Playing (no matter whether I am topping or bottoming) does not make me more spiritually in touch, neither does tantra, nor does my commitment and execution of my Mastery. Those things  do however, being me closer to my slave. 

So I am going to chop this up to yet another thing in  life that I do not understand. Like those people on Doomsday Preppers,  or people that marry their dogs.