OK I am just going to say it.
I do not understand people who say that BDSM is spiritual for them. I honestly just don't get it. As I think about it, that is probably because I view spirituality in pretty narrow terms.
For me spirituality is about a personal internal connection with a higher power. For me BDSM is about a personal internal connection to another person, or persons. So I have trouble understanding how someone can view BDSM activities as part of their spiritual path.
I understand that suffering and self infliction of pain have been used by people for centuries of all religions and spiritual beliefs. These acts help the person deal with emotional pain, guilt, show devotion, act to purify, or show empathy to their ancestors or spiritual and religious icons.
I get that using pain to create an intense psychological and emotional space for some is a gateway for transcendence.
I view what those people do to be an intentional personal self inflicted activity used specifically for the intensifying of their spiritual connection.
It is hard for me to take that thought process and understand how a person can equate those things with modern day BDSM.
I am not saying that play cannot create transcendence, clarity, and connection, it can and does. What I am saying is that when I play I am looking for that experience with who I am playing with, and my spirituality is separate from that. ( Even though it is common for my slave to scream for god....)
Playing (no matter whether I am topping or bottoming) does not make me more spiritually in touch, neither does tantra, nor does my commitment and execution of my Mastery. Those things do however, being me closer to my slave.
So I am going to chop this up to yet another thing in life that I do not understand. Like those people on Doomsday Preppers, or people that marry their dogs.
(Picture by Fox_Fotography!!!!) Leather Bear Tails is about the leather journey of my slave and I. It deals with all parts of the leather and BDSM experience from safety to predators, to skills, and all of the lovely mistakes that she and I make along the way!! Also!! I have written a book called "M/s for the Rest of Us" it can be found for purchase here: http://www.lulu.com/shop/k-e-enzweiler/ms-for-the-rest-of-us/paperback/product-22151343.html
"A Higher Power" That's where I think the disconnect is.
ReplyDeleteWhat exactly is a higher power? How does spirituality relate to a higher power? Can spirituality relate to inner peace? Can spirituality be focused upon a relationship with another person? Can another person BE the higher power? Because our marble is so very diverse I think the answer to all those questions is yes.
So can BDSM be a spiritual experience? Sure, but in order to understand how we have to understand how they define such an experience.
My view on ALL things BDSM is that there is a lack of common definitions within the community as a whole for us to have a common understanding of the things we are talking about. Perfect example is two people consider themselves bottoms, one a slave and the other a submissive. One person views them self as a slave in that they devote all their actions towards their Master, but can't withstand any pain or humiliation. The other views them self as a submissive in that they are only active in the bedroom with a love for pain and humiliation yet their relationship is still fully devoted to the satisfaction of their partner.
So who's the sub and who's the salve?
My answer is always "The definition is specific to those involved in that particular relationship". Thus leaving us without a properly defined term to use in conversation, and the crux of the term spirituality. It's a poorly defined term within the lifestyle to be used in conversation.
I understand what you are saying:) However, I believe that a higher power is beyond us. Spirituality can relate to inner peace, and be focused on a relationship with another person. But that is were it ends for me, it can be influenced by those things but it is not those things. Were you and I differ is the thought that another person can be the higher power. I do not believe that to be true. In my belief a higher power is not and cannot be another person. Or we all end up drinking kool aid......
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed your concepts of submissive and slave. It is a misnomer that slaves must have a pain/humiliation tolerance. slavery and masochism are to completely different identities. As far as the submissive, that person may have to become a submissive to allow themselves to receive pain, but are not able to give anything else up.
It makes sense that part of this is a lack of definition, but for me, the definitions are pretty clear. And I cannot reconcile one thing and the other.
Thank you so much for your points!!!!
We are on the same page. :D
DeleteI too believe there is a higher power, but what form, or how much influence is unknown to me and I'm not trying to figure it out. That information will come with time. I also share your view on submissive/slave definitions. I was simply playing devils advocate to ferret out the different possibilities that are our there where spirituality and submission are concerned.
Glad you enjoyed it!