(Picture by Fox_Fotography!!!!)
Leather Bear Tails is about the leather journey of my slave and I. It deals with all parts of the leather and BDSM experience from safety to predators, to skills, and all of the lovely mistakes that she and I make along the way!!
Also!! I have written a book called "M/s for the Rest of Us" it can be found for purchase here: http://www.lulu.com/shop/k-e-enzweiler/ms-for-the-rest-of-us/paperback/product-22151343.html
I have written a book called "M/s for the Rest of Us" it is available for purchase here: http://www.lulu.com/shop/k-e-enzweiler/ms-for-the-rest-of-us/paperback/product-22151343.html
Or on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Rest-Us-K-E-Enzweiler/dp/1329062213/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1432825657&sr=1-2&keywords=m%2Fs+for+the+rest+of+us I am the founder of the Albuquerque Masters Group. We meet once every other month. The group is open to all who wish to explore their Mastery, slavery, or Dominance and submission. Please contact me here or at my email : Bigdykebear@yahoo.com for more information! The meetings are free to all who wish to attend!
If you are interested in power munches, skills workshops or play parties in the Albuquerque area please contact the 20 year organization of AEL at:
If you are interested in active online community please find:
Group names for the Albuquerque Community Include:
Land Of Enchantment Fetlifers
Albuquerque Master/slave forum
New Mexico Leather League: Leather/Kink/Fetish and More
A few weeks back my amazing slave did a presentation at
PERV. She was brilliant, and I will be
posting her notes for those that missed her speak! That aside,
the first hour of PERV the leaders go over rules, concepts, and social
graces that new people need to know, it is like a quickie 101 class that covers
Something that they cover
are the concepts of SSC, RACK, and PRICK.
Which are acronyms that have been used in the community for years to co
notate safety and what makes BDSM, fetish and kink separate from
SSC is the oldest term. It means safe, sane and consensual.
People that disagreed with SSC came up with RACK which means risk aware consensual
People that disagreed with that came up
with PRICK which means personal responsibility, informed consensual kink.
So here are my thoughts…..
First off PRICK is misogynistic, and non inclusive. What about
having an acronym for safety not based on male genitalia? How about CLIT? I also strongly believe that
a person can’t always be informed. How can you be informed about how you will respond
as a top or a bottom to a new type of play that you have never done before?
You may be informed on the technique- but the emotional response takes on a
life of its own. How can you be
personally aware of a disease process that you have if it hasn’t manifested
itself? And avoid those certain types of play that are dangerous to do? (For example- a
person with a fluid restriction or congestive heart failure, or high blood pressure should not do saline injections.
Breath play and reactive airway disease --RAD-
can be deadly, and genital
cutting and diabetes are a potentially castrating mix.) Also the use of the term Kink is extremely
exclusive. Many of us don’t view what we
do as kink, or kinky. There are many
that are strictly fetishist.
I know that this is a technicality of terms here -
but the word kink just doesn’t cover the very broad range of who we are and what
Leather isn’t my kink- it is
who I am, and who my slave is.
Then there is RACK. I go back to my previous points; first
off awareness of something a person has never done before is a fallacy. Just because a person is aware of the possible
physical tolls, does not mean that they are aware of the emotional ones. It also does not mean that what their bodies
once accepted, they can continue to accept. Being aware of the risks assumes
that you know your own risk. And that is not always possible. Again with the use of the word kink – that does
not include a massive amount of people in
Personally I like SSC. I know that the argument initially
was that what we do is not safe, and definitely not sane. I beg to differ.
What we do is safe within what we know at
this time. What I mean by that is--- new information about play is coming out
all of the time. Our safety is based in what we know now, and that may be different
then what we know five years from now. Twenty years ago it was considered safe
to tie someone up by their wrists, we (as in the community) know more about
joints and nerves now. Ten years ago cutting was done with betadine- now we know that betadine slows healing, so alcohol is sometimes the better choice. For that matter- the use of gloves did not come into fashion until just recently.....
As far as emotional
safety we go off of our own desire and our past experiences. Although we may
misjudge our responses at that time it does not mean that we are less responsible,
or less informed. It just means that we
strove for safety, and may have fell short.
As far as sane. If what we do is not sane, then does that
mean it is insane? What is more sane the recognizing who you are and then doing
something about it? What is more sane the negotiating pleasure and seeking
others that fit your desires? There is no negotiation with insanity, no reason,
no aftercare, no red-ing out.
Insanity is about disconnection for reality-
play is about the deepest connection to the reality that we have.
So in my opinion I say we return to SSC. It is easy to
remember, inclusive, and general enough to keep people talking. And that is
what it was supposed to do, keep people talking and thinking about what we are
So I don’t understand something. I have actually heard this
a lot- the comment of- I don’t want to go to a play party because I don’t have
anyone to play with. Isn’t that kind of
like I don’t want to go to McDonalds because I don’t have a hamburger? Or I don’t want to go to the beach because I
don’t already have sunburn? Or I don’t
want to read that book because I don’t know the ending?
Isn't this putting the
cart before the horse or something like that?
I have an idea, why
don’t you go to a play party and see who else goes? I mean inst a person
more likely to find what they are looking for if they go to a place where that
thing might be? You don’t go looking for
a new car at Wal-Mart- at least not yet anyway.
And play and play partners are the same thing.
Of course I realize
that I am a little cocky, well a lot cocky, and very blessed that I have my
slave in my life. So I can’t say much about what it must be like in the dating
pool out there. Or how it would feel to go to a lot of events and come away
without playing but getting to sit by while others do. I would think that that would suck. A
lot. And after a time it would get
tiring, and going to events would feel pointless.
But isolating yourself from what you want isn’t the answer
You aren’t going to find a play partner by not going
anywhere or doing anything. Get out there, talk and meet people, and maybe learn
the art of conversation while you are at it. If going to events were people are
actively playing is too hard because it really hits you emotionally try going
to events were play isn’t going to happen, but people will be in the
That takes the pressure off.
You know what also helps- masturbate before you go out. No,
really I am serious here, a relaxed person is much easier to meet and talk with
then a tense one, and masturbation will take the edge off.
If you want to talk to someone, but don’t know how to start
he conversation here is a tip- walk up to someone, and compliment them on
something, it doesn’t matter what- their clothing, their car, whatever.
After you compliment them then ask them a question about that thing, and actually
listen to the answer… and take it form there.
The simple truth is that although my slave and I have an
amazing, life, that is full of love laughter, orgasms and play, all of this started because she walked over to me and said “hi my name is eve” , and I said “you are
the most beautiful woman in this bar.”
All of this was because she had the guts to come over and say hi.
It was as simple as that.
And yet not as simple. Take a breath, give yourself a break and get out
Who do you think that you are playing with?What is wrong with you?Can you not feel my power over you front gate?What makes you think that I am playing
here?I have all power over you!And yet you still think that breaking after I
fix you is funny? Do you laugh when you sag, or when you fall over, or when you pull yourself off of your hinges?
I will dominate you
and your rusty hinges!I will make you
feel my powerdespite your low hanging
front end!You and I front gate have
been at war for the least four years.You
may think that you have won by this last attempt at coming off your
Know this front gate—when I am done with you you will obey my
You will open and close at my WHIM!You will remain shut and not poke people non consensually
with your wires! You will keep your splinters and your comments to
yourself!You will be my bitch front gate!
Make no mistake here that
my sheer power and my electric screwdriver will wield you into obedience!
You will tremble at my appearance; you will shrink in fear
as I approach you!
You will remain naked
and you will do my bidding , and when I lend you out to others that will use
you as they see fit you will open and close without trying to throw yourself on
the ground, you willnot complain, you
willsilently comply and make people feel
good about using you!
So do not think for
one moment front gate that I have given up on your training!As soon as daylight hits you and I will go
I will dominate you like no other and in the end you will give
me exactly what I want!
So be aware!Tonight
I rest, tonight I eat cake, and tonight I charge my eclectic screwdriver!And tomorrow, tomorrow when I come out that
front door you will know that your will and not your hinges are to be broken.
(Just a side not here:just in case -- and I am just trying to cover my bases- that this does
not go well… umm….. does anyone know a handy person?)
There are certain things that a Master needs to be aware of
when taking on and caring for the nerd slave. These aren’t bad things, but they
are things that are specific to owning a nerd slave that may throw a Master off
of their game. So be prepared!
Come into the relationship with the knowledge that:
1) If you
want to join into an already existing conversation that your nerd slave is
animatedly having with someone else be prepared to talk about Farscape,
Firefly, or cheese.
prepared for your relationship to be
broken down in to explanations
like: my Master puts their shields up,
or my Master has their phaser set on
SEXY, or my Master asked for pie, and I gave her pi.
3)Be prepared for Sci-Fi and BBC television
programming that makes absolutely no sense, but will send the nerd slave into
fits of giggles as they quote it over and over like “there can be only one!!!” , “ride me
sideways” or “bugger me” . Or when they look at you with
intensity and say “you will be assimilated.”
(Which isn’t bad except for when they do it right after sex.)
4)Be prepared for them to giggle when you say you
know the dungeons DM. IT is NOT the same
thing to them.
5) Know that
a certain hand shake, a reference to something involving 42, and a pirated disc
of Matrix clips with dubbed in fart sounds are all in your future.
6)Know that in your relationship there will be
arguments about who was the best Star Trek Captain, what should have been done
with the Borg, who is a better singer Shatner or Nimoy, and which one of the X
men movies sucked the most ass.
7)Br prepared for ongoing rants about how bad Cat
woman was when played by Hallie Berry, how Rouge should never have been Anna
Paquin, and how it is a scientific face that old Xavier was a hell of a lot
sexier then young Xavier.
be very afraid of any references involving Buckaroo Banzai. Do NOT ask for a plot and Do Not try to
control it, just back away slowly.
9)Be prepared to choose a car insurance company
based on hit points , chaotic subtype, and experience points.
And last but certainly not least:
10)Be prepared for your heart to jump every time
your nerd slave brings home a new DVD and excitedly says “This is a classic!!” Every time that they enter a room
and laugh at jokes that make absolutely no sense but still connects
with those around you on a
visceral level because of B movies and
alien sex references.
It is a pleasure and a joy to own a nerd slave. Sometimes a challenge, sometimes I just smile
and nod like I understand anything that she is saying, but mostly it just turns
The other day I was out cussing up a storm while repairing
the fence line after having to go get Pokey (the white horse) from yet another
trip outside the pasture. He likes to escape, thinks it is great fun….I called him an asshole...a lot. But for some strange reason as I was
working on the fence I got to thinking about this friend I had in Florida.
Even though she knew nothing about horses, it was always her
dream to own one. So as soon as she got her RN degree she went right out and bought
her first horse. The horse had “some problems” but the seller, who was also the
owner of the barn and the head trainer, told my friend that she “just knew”
that those two were a perfect match and that my friend was just what that horse
needed (remember the NO experience part here).
My friend paid this person for the horse, as well as monthly board (
covers food, water and a stall) , a trainer’s fee(a monthly fee to work with the horse a few times
a week) and then paid for lessons(were the trainer would work with both her and
the horse privately) when she could afford them.After the horse threw my friend for the
umpteenth time and gave her permanent inner ear damage (even though she was
wearing a helmet) that caused ringing in her ears so loud and so unpredictable
that she was forced out of her job in the ICU, the trainer “graciously” offered
to buy the horse back for a third of what she had charged. The whole process
took less than six months.
I then got to thinking about my beginning in the horse
world, and how extremely lucky I was - no more than that- more than words
really - to be around people that saw how I knew nothing, recognized the danger
I was to myself, to the horse, and what that wrong horse could potentially do
to me, and from there made the appropriate moves to make sure that I was safe
and was able to learn. They answered my questions, kept me paired up with
horses that were not over my head, and overall except a few injuries here and
here, I was immersed in an environment that was fun, loving and full of success
that I still draw on today.
But that was just it, I was surrounded by people that were
so vested in my growth learning and safety, so lacking of ego, and self
importance, that they could watch me, and teach me without ulterior
They weren’t trying to make me be who they wanted me to be
they were just accepting who I was and went from there.
That life experience guided me strongly when I first entered
onto my leather journey with my slave.I
quickly could identify the difference between a person that wanted to teach me
because they were interested in my learning and growth versus the person that
wanted to teach me because they wanted me to be a certain way, for them.
Those that had their own motives would do things like
question my ability to lead my own house, question my decisions actively, or
passively. Make “joking” comments about my lack of experience. Make unwanted
and unwarranted passes at me, or go directly after my slave. They would hit her
when I wasn’t around to see what her response was, and then tell her that
because they were in the scene longer then I was that they had rights over her
and that there was nothing that I could do. Then wait to see how I would
Ultimately these people did not last in our lives long, and
we walked away annoyed but unharmed.
But just like my friend in Florida whose entry into the
horse world left her so battered that not only did she lose her hearing and her
job, she lost her hope and her hearts dream. I wonder about the people that
come into BDSM and leather and end up being at the mercy of someone else’s
The person that comes in and really wants to be a strong
dominant but because those who surround them eitherdo not want them to do this, or simply
cannotsee them that way, the new
personis talked out of having those
experiences. The new person that is really smart but because the people around
them are more experienced and have no interest in being challenged, they dumb
themselves down. The new person that is laughed at, ignored, or humiliatedfor their questions, until they simply stop
asking them. The new person that really wants to submit, but are pushed into
being dominant. The person that really wants and needs aftercare, but are told
that real dominants don’t do that, and real submissive’s don’t need it. The
person whose personal desires are overlooked, downplayed, laughed at, or
harassed out of them, until they either leave the scene because it could not
fulfill them and it was not what they thought or hoped it was, or they leave that
group and keep searching for answers until they get them, and hopefully in a
few years time when confronted with another person asking those same questions
that they once had, they answer them instead of laugh at them.
There are so many ways to break someone down and just one
road to build them up.
We all have that choice, and there will come a time when it
will be right there in your face.