Mother$%#@&@#^@^ FUCK@#&@@#*@*

 Things that a loving and dedicated slave says to  their Master while driving home with 40 more minutes to go-  after the Master has just shit her self......  On their 40th birthday.......


"I am concerned when was the last time we had Churches chicken?"

"Sometimes things happen- and sometimes those things happen down your pants leg...."

"I bet you that car next to us is shit free. Those assholes haven’t lived...."


"If there was a poo your pants pageant you would be the most beautiful woman there... You would win FIRST prize! They would give you a sash!"


"You had better not tailgate, because the ambulance people have thermometers and they are going to know that you shit yourself before the accident AND you are a tailgater.  Then they are going to make you take the second ambulance." 


"Most people poo in a toilet, but not you, you are a Maverick.  You think outside the box."


"When you shit yourself the hidden meanings of the world open up to you. Like this song we are listening to she is sending her love and support to her cowboy-   because he just shit himself."



"You see that twinkling star; it is the star of colongus. The Goddess of colons and orange juice.  And it is twinkling extra bright just for you. How magical...."

"Look Master, you've already shit yourself, just let me run into Walmart."


Overall, my birthday has been wonderful. My amazing wife and slave sent me 40 messages this morning each with its own song attached to it, each with  a message from her heart. It was wonderful listening to her songs all day.

Between the beauty of her songs, and the surreal experience of shitting myself- today has been magical.