I have written a book called "M/s for the Rest of Us" it is available for purchase here: http://www.lulu.com/shop/k-e-enzweiler/ms-for-the-rest-of-us/paperback/product-22151343.html
Or on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Rest-Us-K-E-Enzweiler/dp/1329062213/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1432825657&sr=1-2&keywords=m%2Fs+for+the+rest+of+us
I am the founder of the Albuquerque Masters Group. We meet once every other month. The group is open to all who wish to explore their Mastery, slavery, or Dominance and submission. Please contact me here or at my email : Bigdykebear@yahoo.com for more information! The meetings are free to all who wish to attend!
If you are interested in power munches, skills workshops or play parties in the Albuquerque area please contact the 20 year organization of AEL at:
If you are interested in active online community please find:
Group names for the Albuquerque Community Include:
Land Of Enchantment Fetlifers
Albuquerque Master/slave forum
New Mexico Leather League: Leather/Kink/Fetish and More
Friday, April 12, 2013
Leather and Poly
Out of all of the aspects that I have assumed control over my slave the one that I don’t, through my choice, is the polyamorous aspect of our relationship. My slaves dating interests don’t have to go through me, nor do I tell her no when it comes to who she chooses. We do however both have a few strict rules that we follow in choosing our dating partners. No drugs, no alcoholics, must be employed. The other “unspoken” rules that speak to whether or not the relationship continues are must be excellent in bed, must be independent, must be able to speak intelligently.
Overall, however, I don’t interfere in her dating, and I don’t monitor her correspondence. I know that a lot of Masters do and that they have rules where the other person has to go through the Master to initiate dating with their slave.
I do however have complete say over who plays with her. My slave is never loaned out. I may from time to time invite someone to play with her when I am playing with her. But that is very rare. Personally I don’t understand the loaning out thing. I don’t get off on it, I find it rather distasteful. I don’t mean playing with other people - that kind of loaning out I get. I mean loaning the slave out for sex. I don’t get that at all. I think that it is kind of gross, really.
When my slave is looking at dating she says that she isn’t interested in dating someone who is leather, she isn’t interested in her other lovers having any type of D/s element. Interesting huh? she says that being a slave is exhausting!!! LOL!!! she can’t imagine being that tired with her other lovers!
Honestly speaking, the other reason that I don’t interfere with her dating is because I was monogamous for many years. Although she was poly and she would date, we were mostly poly in theory and monogamous in practice. I didn’t take any control over her polyamorous choices because I didn’t feel that I could do it responsibly. I didn’t feel that I would pick her other partners fairly and because of my own insecurities I would simply say no to everyone. So since I couldn’t be fair and responsible, I didn’t take control over that part of her life. Then when she found another partner that she was serious about really dating and wanted to start a sexual relationship with that person, it rocked me to my core. We went through it for about 5 months as we struggled to find where polyamory legitimately had a place in our lives. It was so deeply difficult at that time.
But we did come out on the other side, much stronger, much happier, very much in love. I however, still don’t take any control over that part of her life. Even though now I feel that I would be much more responsible, I still feel that those choices need to be hers. We do discuss things like sex, and negotiate time and make sure that we are both comfortable. But those negations are done outside of the boundaries of our Master and slave relationship, just in case she would feel a need to withhold how she feels or what she wants for the sake of her service.
Also conversely, when I date another partner I negotiate time and sex with my slave. I don’t just tell her who I am seeing and when we are going to do things. We do talk about it and I am very careful to take in her feelings.
I have heard of Masters who bring in other slaves, or submissive's or who tell their slave that they have to have a relationship sexually with someone else, and are surprised when the slave has FEELINGS about that.
I think that relationships, especially multiple ones, are delicate things. And I think that as much as Masters have control over our slaves, how a slave feels is their own. I want my slave to have full emotionally rich relationships, and only she knows who those people can be who would really fulfill her.
After all a happy slave makes for a happy house.