I have written a book called "M/s for the Rest of Us" it is available for purchase here: http://www.lulu.com/shop/k-e-enzweiler/ms-for-the-rest-of-us/paperback/product-22151343.html

Or on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Rest-Us-K-E-Enzweiler/dp/1329062213/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1432825657&sr=1-2&keywords=m%2Fs+for+the+rest+of+us

I am the founder of the Albuquerque Masters Group. We meet once every other month. The group is open to all who wish to explore their Mastery, slavery, or Dominance and submission. Please contact me here or at my email : Bigdykebear@yahoo.com for more information!
The meetings are free to all who wish to attend!

If you are interested in power munches, skills workshops or play parties in the Albuquerque area please contact the 20 year organization of AEL at:


If you are interested in active online community please find:


Group names for the Albuquerque Community Include:

Land Of Enchantment Fetlifers

Albuquerque Kinksters

KinkySpot Clubhouse

Albuquerque Master/slave forum

New Mexico Leather League: Leather/Kink/Fetish and More

Friday, August 30, 2013


Now that same sex couple marriage licenses are being issued in  counties all over NM  the question has been posed to  us just about every day, multiple times a day-  WHEN ARE YOU GETTING MARRIED?????

I do truly appreciate the enthusiasm, in which people are asking us, and I am really looking forward to being legal as well, but I do not want to have it in some courthouse with just us. I want my wife and slave to have a proper wedding. You know - the dress, the ring, the ritual, the food, and the honeymoon, just like any other traditional interracial leather lesbian couple. HAHAHA!   

So yes, we are talking about getting married, again.

Honestly though – I am going to need to get past my anger first. This may sound stupid, and maybe you won’t understand unless you are not allowed to marry, but I am angry.  I guess now that we can be legal the last 11 years that I have loved, honored, cared for and provided for my wife didn’t matter, and I am supposed to get all excited because now it can matter? What about those years? What about our first wedding – not legally recognized? 

Why am I supposed to jump for joy because I get to jump through government hoops for something that should have always been?  So that I can have half a marriage certificate that is still not state of federally recognized? 

That is what makes me angry and hurt. That is why I am taking this slow- yes I want to marry her legally- but WHAT IF? What if we go get our license and the state does something completely out of left field and I am left with a document that isn’t worth the price of the paper that it was printed on. I can’t bear that thought. That we would marry again this time with the hope and joy if it being legal only to be left holding piece of paper that would be a running joke to those that had taken it away.

It would cut too deeply I think.

On one hand I hold this image of her- wedding gown, flowers, surrounded by loved ones, walking down that isle with a veil. Putting on that ring, doing that first “official” kiss of legal marriage, and the honey moon- yea! That is so sexy- her and I on this big soft bed watching TV, the wedding cake between us and only one spoon.  (What did you think we were going to do?  PERVERT!!!)

But what about all of our other kisses, were they not real enough, “official” enough, did they not matter?

I know – maybe I am over thinking this, but it is how I feel. I know that when we start the official planning for the wedding, this will fall away to the joy that I will feel being her wife in the legal world. But right now- I am her wife. I always have been. We were married, legal or not, and we have been for 8 years.

So when people say to me “so when are you going to get married” I think, I already am married. 

When people say this to me and they know me and my wife and the fact that we had a wedding, and we have been together for 11 years, it makes me pause. I know that they are well-meaning, but it makes me feel like they never really saw us as a married couple. We didn’t go around introducing ourselves as “partner” or “fiance” or “girlfriend” we have always used the word “wife.”  I know that isn’t their intent; but it stings.

So after some talking, my wife and I decided that we weren’t going to do this until we are ready, and that when we do get that piece of paper for us it will be the renewing of vows.We found that was how we could both wrap our heads around this concept of getting  “married” again.

When it is time we will know. And the party will be EPIC! 

UPDATE:  the IRS will recognize same sex marriages federally.  Time to  plan the party!


  1. Peoples enthusiasm can often expose their ignorance, well meaning though it may be. I look forward to the renewing of your vows as that is what it is. Your first marriage was for you and your family and your wife that is what matters. The second marriage will be a reminder of that love, it will in no way diminish that love.
    Your family from NM will be there to support you and encourage you. All of them will know it is a renewing of your vows and will honor your time "served" as it were. So don't think of it as a reset but instead as passing through Go again on the board game of life. This time you get tax benefits when you file and social security protections for your slave.
    maybe my enthusiasm is exposing my ignorance, and please tell me if it is, but i can think of nothing more important then celebrating your love and adding another level of financial protections for your wife. Plus it's gonna be one hell of a party!

    P.s. I am an ordained minister if you need an officiant.

    1. Thank you so much pepsquad! You are right, and I have worked past some of this and am starting to get excited about what this could mean. Your words have helped with me getting past some anger!
      You rock! And as far as an officiant---- I will definitely keep you in mind! HOW SWEET!!!!

  2. In our eyes, you will be no more married when you make it "legal" than you are today. Without a doubt, you are an amazing married couple! With all that said, I am so grateful that New Mexico is finally realizing this is a civil rights issue.... that you deserve the right to get that piece of paper! When, and if that day comes, we will celebrate with you! Until then, and for ever more, we will honor you as the loving married couple you are today!

    Love you!


    1. Thank you so much Kathryn!!!! You are so amazing and I love your support and love. It will b an epic party and we cant wait to celebrate with you!

      Love you much!