I have written a book called "M/s for the Rest of Us" it is available for purchase here: http://www.lulu.com/shop/k-e-enzweiler/ms-for-the-rest-of-us/paperback/product-22151343.html

Or on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Rest-Us-K-E-Enzweiler/dp/1329062213/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1432825657&sr=1-2&keywords=m%2Fs+for+the+rest+of+us

I am the founder of the Albuquerque Masters Group. We meet once every other month. The group is open to all who wish to explore their Mastery, slavery, or Dominance and submission. Please contact me here or at my email : Bigdykebear@yahoo.com for more information!
The meetings are free to all who wish to attend!

If you are interested in power munches, skills workshops or play parties in the Albuquerque area please contact the 20 year organization of AEL at:


If you are interested in active online community please find:


Group names for the Albuquerque Community Include:

Land Of Enchantment Fetlifers

Albuquerque Kinksters

KinkySpot Clubhouse

Albuquerque Master/slave forum

New Mexico Leather League: Leather/Kink/Fetish and More

Friday, December 20, 2013

Do public play parties limit our skill?

It is a powerful question isn’t it?  Do public play parties limit our skill? I think that public play parties offer so much good- I am by no means here belittling what they offer. Public play parties are an amazing venue to watch others, to see what else is being done, to learn, network, ask questions, meet new people and compare toys of all kinds.  It is also a place for growth, finding out where your skill level is in comparison to others and that safe space for so many to come and experience their firsts. Their first time seeing or having a flogging, their first time witnessing aftercare, their first time watching a caning, and getting that feeling way down deep in their crotch. I love those firsts.

However, because of the nature of public play parties, there are limits. Public play parties are about protecting the host house, the organizer, and providing a safe place for newbie’s to come. So often that means a limit on the types of play that can happen, such as blood, full body impact, wrestling, wax, suspension  and sometimes sex. It also means that there are limits on time as far as equipment.  Just to be clear here, for the most part I agree with these limits in public play. I agree with not splattering blood over someone else’s walls and then sitting on their furniture to rub it into the couch. Wax can be very messy and extensive to clean, full body play and wrestling takes a lot of room without stuff that breaks in it, and suspension takes specialized equipment. As far as sex,  I am very careful whose sexual energy I allow around me and my slave, and I don’t enjoy going to parties where I feel  unsafe by the sexual  vibe. 

 Those limits do not mean that public, open, everyone can come parties aren’t extremely important. When I first came into this community I learned tons of valuable information just by watching others. I learned so much about what I could do differently, better, stronger, how I could increase my skill, and what other toys are out there.  I loved that phase of my leaning, and I am grateful for it. I still love going to public play parties because I still learn, push myself, watch, and grow from others. 

But like all learning there comes that point where you grown and grow and outgrow some things. I am in no way saying that I have outgrown learning in a public play arena. What I am saying is that where I want to grow is sometimes restricted from public play. I really want to get better at piercing and cutting, and I would like to greater experience more total body rough play and heavy impact. I would love to learn full body suspension safely   on bigger bodies.

I know that ultimately my learning is my responsibility, and that it is my job to  seek out others that can  teach  me what I want to  learn, as well as  create the place for me  to do that. But I just got to thinking, do we as a community become lazy when we don’t strive to enhance or strengthen our skills? And is that influenced by being where we want to be in our familiar groups when it comes to public play? Do we, as a public play community, push each other to be more skilled and more daring in our play? Do we take advantage of the amazing amount of skill that exists in our community? Or have we relaxed and said that we are fine with our skill, no need to take it forward?

I do think that to a certain extent public play parties can limit a communities learning and growth as a whole because of the limitations that need to happen. I also feel that if we as a community are not careful, we can become extremely comfortable and then stagnant in what we are doing and learning. 

Public play parties are wonderful things, and we are lucky to have them, as they did not always exist. At one point you had to know someone and they had to approve you getting in and so on….. So being able to look online and say I would love to go to that play party is a novelty. Every time you send in your RSVP you should remember that this is a privilege. That many have never had that privilege, and so many have never been able to experience public play. But  don’t let where you are in public be the end of your learning, keep  striving for that next skill, that next piece of information that can unlock  that next piece for you. The opening of that door is powerful and amazing, be grateful, and honor those that have come before you by pushing yourself forward.

There is always more to learn.

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