I have written a book called "M/s for the Rest of Us" it is available for purchase here: http://www.lulu.com/shop/k-e-enzweiler/ms-for-the-rest-of-us/paperback/product-22151343.html
Or on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Rest-Us-K-E-Enzweiler/dp/1329062213/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1432825657&sr=1-2&keywords=m%2Fs+for+the+rest+of+us
I am the founder of the Albuquerque Masters Group. We meet once every other month. The group is open to all who wish to explore their Mastery, slavery, or Dominance and submission. Please contact me here or at my email : Bigdykebear@yahoo.com for more information! The meetings are free to all who wish to attend!
If you are interested in power munches, skills workshops or play parties in the Albuquerque area please contact the 20 year organization of AEL at:
If you are interested in active online community please find:
Group names for the Albuquerque Community Include:
Land Of Enchantment Fetlifers
Albuquerque Master/slave forum
New Mexico Leather League: Leather/Kink/Fetish and More
Friday, June 20, 2014
Not every class goes well.
I taught a BDSM 101 class this week. There was a great group of people, but I just didn’t feel that I did well. I am very much used to people learning to connect with their crotch at this class. For me beginning BDSM is about having your fantasies come to life. So one of the things that I do with the hands on part is I have people start acting on their fantasies and once they start understanding how their fantasies have a place in the real world -it usually goes from there.
I am very used to the end of the class being full of red, flushed faces, moans, and heavy breathing as people leave quickly. I teach BDSM 101 as a hands on because I believe that BDSM is like driving a car, I can talk all day long, but unless you have your hands in it a little you won’t really know what it is about. I also believe that a lot of things like protocol, flags, and more in depth terminology a person can learn on their own depending on how far they want to continue their BDSM journey.
BDSM 101 as hands on is a risk- but starting in BDSM is a risk, so doing it in front of someone who can answer questions I feel can be a good place to start.
This time though, I just walked away feeling like- feeling like- I had failed somehow.
In the group there was really only one person that I felt walked out confident, while I felt that every ones else seemed to really struggle and become more emotionally confused. Maybe I am over thinking things a little bit, maybe it was ok. But honestly, I needed to feel that it was OK. I know that everyone that walks into the class will understand BDSM in varying degrees, and I say in the beginning this is just the door.
I give the analogy that BDSM is a whole country with many states, and every state has its own dress, language, flag, and behavioral expectations. I explain that BDSM is a huge, wide field and that there is only so much that we can touch on in an hour and a half. So intellectually I know that when someone comes into the class what they want to find out after that is up to them. But I like thinking that I give people that chance to connect the head and the crotch, give them that ember of desire so that they want to seek out the community and themselves. Give them that piece of information that makes them go “Oh-YEA! NOW that makes sense.” OR even better “Oh YEA-now I make sense.”
I just don’t think that I did that this time.
Somehow I missed the boat.
I guess it was bound to happen; a person can only have so many good classes before something goes differently.
I just really hope that I gave them a good start, maybe they were a stoic group, maybe they weren’t ready, maybe I just wasn’t a good teacher that day, maybe I couldn’t connect with where they needed me to be. As it was my job to do.
I get my feedback forms from them in the next week or so, and so we will see how it went for them.
I can only hope that there was some grains planted, that there were some things that were discussed, or felt, or brought up, or experienced that will turn into what they need it to be.
This weights heavy on my heart.