I have written a book called "M/s for the Rest of Us" it is available for purchase here: http://www.lulu.com/shop/k-e-enzweiler/ms-for-the-rest-of-us/paperback/product-22151343.html

Or on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Rest-Us-K-E-Enzweiler/dp/1329062213/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1432825657&sr=1-2&keywords=m%2Fs+for+the+rest+of+us

I am the founder of the Albuquerque Masters Group. We meet once every other month. The group is open to all who wish to explore their Mastery, slavery, or Dominance and submission. Please contact me here or at my email : Bigdykebear@yahoo.com for more information!
The meetings are free to all who wish to attend!

If you are interested in power munches, skills workshops or play parties in the Albuquerque area please contact the 20 year organization of AEL at:


If you are interested in active online community please find:


Group names for the Albuquerque Community Include:

Land Of Enchantment Fetlifers

Albuquerque Kinksters

KinkySpot Clubhouse

Albuquerque Master/slave forum

New Mexico Leather League: Leather/Kink/Fetish and More

Friday, October 9, 2015

Don’t let the Toy define YOU

I find it interesting that many Tops are defined through their toys, or their types of play.  When I was first learning single tail, my teacher pushed the issue for me to use both hands and to move my body. He really pushed for me to NOT be defined by the toy that I was using or to allow that toy to determine the play.  Since then I have taken his words and ran with them. The toy doesn’t define the play- the people do. BDSM toys are expensive and learning to  use them  in  ways that are unconventional,  unexpected and through  is something that I am always challenging myself and those that I work  with  to do. 

A flogger isn’t really a flogger; it is an impact toy with the handle and the falls.  It is also a butt plug, and a   great way to incorporate predicament bondage, or sensation play. Needles aren’t just needles, they are corsets, wings, and dream catchers. Canes are not just canes they are gags, tools used to position a bottom, build tension by sound, and a myriad of other things. 

It is easy to get caught up in the conventional use of toys. Just as easy as it is to get caught up in only using your dominant hand, or dominant stance. Those types of things limit your play.  Next time stop and take a look at the bottoms WHOLE body- what part haven’t you flogged, caned, or poked? Their inner thighs? Their chest? Their feet, their inner arms? What haven’t your touched, caressed, or played with lately and how can you take your favorite toy and make it worked for that body part? The biggie question “where is their erogenous zone?"And how can you take any toy and use it there? 

(For those of you who identify your erogenous zone as “the brain” – such as myself- your possibilities are LITERALLY endless.)

Next time you play-   USE YOUR OTHER HAND. Don’t get stuck in what is comfortable, use both hands equally, it will expand where and how you can play. Step back forth, as well as side to side and see how that opens up opportunities with the bottom.  You will eye that new spot that you haven’t worked with before. Make the entire bottom the toy not the implement in your hand.

Expanding your play is NOT all about expanding you toy box. I am not going to lie- it does help. But a computer or work chair has just as many options as a cross does.  A couch has just as many options as a spanking bench does.

If you want to challenge yourself even further- every toy that you own should be able to be used as a warm up, intense mid play, and cool down toy.  EVERY TOY. Every part of your body- insert giggle here- should be able to be used as a warm up, intense mid play and cool down toy. Don’t limit yourself to your flogger- let your flogger be your gateway to creativity and possibilities.

Next time you play DON’T USE TOYS. OOOO- WHAT?????  Yep, take the toys out of the play and see what you can do with your hands, your hair, your tongue, your imagination.

 Play is about the PEOPLE. Not about the toys. 

Expand your play, expand yourself-

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