I have written a book called "M/s for the Rest of Us" it is available for purchase here: http://www.lulu.com/shop/k-e-enzweiler/ms-for-the-rest-of-us/paperback/product-22151343.html
Or on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Rest-Us-K-E-Enzweiler/dp/1329062213/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1432825657&sr=1-2&keywords=m%2Fs+for+the+rest+of+us
I am the founder of the Albuquerque Masters Group. We meet once every other month. The group is open to all who wish to explore their Mastery, slavery, or Dominance and submission. Please contact me here or at my email : Bigdykebear@yahoo.com for more information! The meetings are free to all who wish to attend!
If you are interested in power munches, skills workshops or play parties in the Albuquerque area please contact the 20 year organization of AEL at:
If you are interested in active online community please find:
Group names for the Albuquerque Community Include:
Land Of Enchantment Fetlifers
Albuquerque Master/slave forum
New Mexico Leather League: Leather/Kink/Fetish and More
Friday, October 2, 2015
honoring my skill
It has been a lot of fun over here at the “House of Bear”. So much good is happening. My slave is working her ass off to get prepared for the upcoming events we have, October 3rd, October 10th, and the amazing Leather Fiesta on October 30th. Not only does the house need to come together, but she is also making tons of stuff for the basket on the 3rd, and for her vending at Leather Fiesta.
The good news is that her class at Self Serve and her performance at Pornatopia are done. So now it is just plowing forward. So I am going out and meeting with people as she stays home and works away. Honestly I have the easy job! LOL!
Last week I went to the AEL play party “Stag”. It was awesome! What I really love is that our community has so many talented people. People with years of experience that just shine in skill and the ability to teach others. To really work others through things and get them comfortable and safe. There were a lot of new people and the cool thing was that I could say to them “OK go watch ------“ and then come back to me and tell me what you think. Or “I want you to meet this person. They are excellent at ----“.
How cool is that?
I also had the mind blowing offer of being someone’s first. Wow. That is such an amazing thing for me. I am always honored that people would ask. So I had a blast, it wiped me out! But the reality is that I feel that it is always a rough place to be someone’s first. I never really know how they are going to take things, how they will register with what I am doing emotionally. Normally my play is overtly sexual. My goals are to either to either sexually excite who I play with, or to turn them into post play goo. Those end products allow me to feel successful in play, like I have really created an emotional experience for the person that I play with.
BUT- when it comes to a new person they honestly don’t know what to expect, and what does it for me truly may not do it for them. I love using my fingertips and finger nails, I love finding erogenous zones and building sexual tension. But not everyone enjoys that.
Also the real difference between S&M and D&S becomes glaring. I need D&S to get into play. I need the concepts of Dominance and the bottom submitting to me for it to go to my crotch. For it to build in me. But a new person may have a serious negative reaction to that act. And part of playing with a new person is being aware of that. This experience brought so much to me. It reminded me of all of the responsibility that being a person’s first holds. And the mind fields that new play can truly be.
I am still processing this experiencing. Double and triple thinking myself. Was I through? Did I give them what they needed? Was I safe? Did I help them to have insight? Did I help them connect the dots?
Geez- it’s like fucking a virgin. Honestly playing with someone the first time you have no idea what you are walking into, and all of the negotiation and safety can’t protect you from another’s psyche.
I loved it though. I was honored. It made me learn about myself and another, it made me hold my skill and limits accountable. It made me realize how much service makes me wet. How much I am so lucky in this life.
Not everyone should play with a person their first time out. (Not every person no matter their years experience should play…But that is another story.) There are a lot of times where I will politely decline. I am honored and truly grateful for the asking.
However part of honoring my skill is knowing when to say “no, their needs are out of my league.”