Intervention

The new horse came in last month.  She is stunning, soft, big, and really breathtaking. I have wanted a black Percheron since I was a kid. The power of them in movies and pictures has always caught my breath.  So this year, after we got the truck, the idea of finally getting what I have wanted for such a long time became a possibilities.

Rainey, the race horse, has been successfully re-homed. She is getting the work that her heart had always truly craved.  I cried a little. It was sweet and perfect as in so many ways.  I got to be her rest time. Her rehab. We fed her twice a day and the neighbors fed her twice a day.  LOL.

So when Suzy came to us, now named Angel, I was overwhelmed. First from the guilt, financially we are paycheck to paycheck, and sometimes paycheck to oh shit. So  how could I have made such  a reckless financial  decision  to  get myself such  an  expensive thing. And the amount of hay that she goes through. She doesn’t eat like a horse, she eats likes three horses. We go through one 150 pound bale a day. 

So I struggled with that. Then she was a little more food aggressive then I thought, and decided that fences were for pussies.  When we got the call from our very patient neighbors that she had torn down their fence and was now in their yard. I ran home as fast as I could from work and put up the hot wire. That is what made a world of difference.  At the time we only had enough to hot wire to cover the space between us and the neighbors and not the whole pasture.  

So the day I got paid, I came home from work and Angel was on the road. Out of the pasture, out of our yard, and on the road.  I picked up more hot wire that night and my slave and I worked for three hours hot wiring the whole pasture.  

She may weigh 1800 pounds but she respects that thin wire of electricity. 

It was when I knew that she was going to be safe that I was able to relax a little more. 

But still, I didn’t go to and work with her. I just couldn’t.

I had all of this baggage from Rainey. All of this over ridding stuff that seemed like a mountain of doubt, fear, and reservation. If Angel did what Rainey did, I couldn’t keep her. I knew that.  So  I just didn’t work  with  Angel because I couldn’t face  the possibility of what  “could be”. 

I couldn’t face that I had made a terrible mistake. That not only sunk us financially but also showed that I truly wasn’t who I thought I was.  I know that Rainey’s behavior was really because of me. So the fear that this meant that Angel to would follow the same path was more then I could take. And then I would have no choice. I would have to get rid of her and walk away from the horse person in me.  

I have also made the decision that she will be my last horse.  That after Pokey goes and Angel goes, I am hanging up my harness.

So there was a lot more riding on her behavior that I wanted to admit. 

Last week I lay in bed. It was 2 in the afternoon and I was trying to get my head around getting out to the pasture and doing at least something. When my slave came in.

Coming over to the bed, she sat down. And she said the words of love that we all need from time to time. “I am doing an intervention.” I pulled the covers off my head and looked at her. “Go outside. Go and see her.” 

I knew that she was right. And little by little my slave helped me get up and put on clothes and shoes, and go outside. 

I got them both, Pokey and Angel. I tied Pokey but then I couldn’t tie Angel. The fear had me, if she pulled back, if she because dangerous, that was going to be the end.

I walked her around for a few minutes then, taking a deep breath, I tied her. 

She didn’t move. She just stood there and farted. 

I walked away into the barn to go get something that I had forgotten, she didn’t pull back.

I stood in front of her, raised my arms, held a whip, and even touched her face with the whip. Nothing, well, she farted. 

My slave came out and took pictures. I was so sure that her panic would come. I brushed Pokey, but was keenly aware of Angels every move behind me. Waiting for the behavior to start. 

The whole day went peacefully, she ate her cookies, listened when I asked her to more over, and didn’t fuss about. She stood quietly and waited.  

I waited to, I was ready.  When it was over and the day had ended.  I needed to get them both back  into  pasture. 

At first I was going to take them both to the pasture together. I said to myself, if she is going to go nuts, this would be the time.  I didn’t want to risk it. But I told myself, if this is going to happen, I need to know now. So  I took  another deep  breath.

I un-clipped Pokey and led home away, back to the pasture, alone.  Leaving Angel at the cross ties, I couldn’t look at her, I just kept going forward. She didn’t fuss; she just cocked her leg and rested. 

Then I went back  and got her and took  her to  the pasture, no  running me over,  no  jumpiness,  she let the halter fall from  her face and stood there. 

After the whole thing I sat down at the bench by the cross ties. I sat there for a long time. Moishe the dog came and joined me. I petted him. I needed him there.

Tomorrow may be a different story, it will take time for me to trust that she is different, and I am different by default. 

But for right now.  I hold on to that moment on the bench, me and Moishe and a world of possibilities. 

This world that starts by having someone who  believes that you can  get out of bed.  

Rainey with  her sweat marks in  her new home!

Me working with  Pokey as Moishe watches over us all.

I was  working on  Pokey but staying really in tune with  Angel.  Waiting.

                  Angel  responding  to  a request for her attention. 






So  the next day- I did  it for myself. I got up,  got my clothes on, and went outside. It went  smoothly the whole time. Then  a cool  thing happened.  I was taking Pokey back  to pasture, and as I was releasing him  the dogs started barking loud and furious. Angel  was still  tied to  the cross ties.  She raised her head and my breath  stopped. She raised her head high I could hear the chains start to  rattle. 

Then  she stopped. I waited for it,  the inevitable fight,  the  gut wrenching sound of the chains hitting their end point, and the furious ness of a panicked horse using everything they had to  get away. 

It never came.  

She  only took  one step  back, and with  that and her head raising she never did hit the end of the chains.

Thank  you my slave,  my Love.