I have written a book called "M/s for the Rest of Us" it is available for purchase here: http://www.lulu.com/shop/k-e-enzweiler/ms-for-the-rest-of-us/paperback/product-22151343.html

Or on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Rest-Us-K-E-Enzweiler/dp/1329062213/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1432825657&sr=1-2&keywords=m%2Fs+for+the+rest+of+us

I am the founder of the Albuquerque Masters Group. We meet once every other month. The group is open to all who wish to explore their Mastery, slavery, or Dominance and submission. Please contact me here or at my email : Bigdykebear@yahoo.com for more information!
The meetings are free to all who wish to attend!

If you are interested in power munches, skills workshops or play parties in the Albuquerque area please contact the 20 year organization of AEL at:


If you are interested in active online community please find:


Group names for the Albuquerque Community Include:

Land Of Enchantment Fetlifers

Albuquerque Kinksters

KinkySpot Clubhouse

Albuquerque Master/slave forum

New Mexico Leather League: Leather/Kink/Fetish and More

Friday, January 6, 2017

This makes me smile, and I am glad to be smiling

I am working with this person who is new to BDSM. They come from a world completely different then mine. I find their prospective very interesting. Literally, we are night and day.  I don’t often allow myself to hang out with newbie’s this much.  I figure that there are much better people to see them through the beginning stages then me.  

But, there is something that I am really getting out of this. Maybe it is the timing, maybe it is where I am emotionally, and maybe it is because who this newbie is. Insightful, caring, and funny as hell.  

We talk a lot about things that I am personally passionate about. Like history, play, sex, and responsibility.  It fascinates me to talk to someone whose only reference to BDSM is 50 shades.  Out of curiosity I watched the movie myself.  I loved the homage’s to The Secretary. Both dominates are named Mr.  Grey, they both put pens in a line, and they both miss understand themselves to believe that because the love BDSM they are bad people. So many crossovers. 

My beef with 50 shades (among other things) was that there was no training period for the submissive.  So the submissive was not given a grace period to learn how to act and to figure out for themselves how they feel about what they were agreeing to.  This takes away from the submissive ability to truly understand themselves.   

The punishment scene was brought on by the dominant not liking what he was hearing and getting angry. It was done out of anger and he allowed the submissive to goad him by saying “I want to know how bad it can be”. 

This lead to a very interesting conversation between the newbie and myself. 

My comment was “she wanted to know how bad it can be. Well, that has little to do with the body. A person can recover from a beating but a broken psyche is something that is much harder to fix.”
It also lead me to ask the newbie “as far as the punishment scene went, who was responsible for stopping the punishment before it got to an unhealthy point.”
This is where I had some fun. I knew how the newbie  was  doing to answer, and they did not disappoint.

 “The sub” they said. 

I said “think again, who was responsible for what was going to happen?” 

They paused and thought it through.  “The dom.” They said.   
Then they followed that with “the dom should have called it because they knew more.”

 I stopped in my tracks.  I was duly impressed. 

“Yes.” I said. 

I couldn’t stop myself from smiling. 

“The dom knew more. So he should have stopped it before the sub was pushed too far.”

My time with the newbie has been full of a lot of these surprise moments. Seeing their “a- ha” pieces come together.  Challenging the thought processes, letting them come to their own conclusions about submission, and dominance, but asking pointed questions. 
What does that mean? How does that play out in real time? Explain, define, and think it through. 

I don’t have to agree with what they think, I just want them thinking.   

I laugh because the newbie gives me tons of shit about asking so many questions.  

This makes me smile, and I am glad to be smiling. 

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