I have written a book called "M/s for the Rest of Us" it is available for purchase here: http://www.lulu.com/shop/k-e-enzweiler/ms-for-the-rest-of-us/paperback/product-22151343.html

Or on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Rest-Us-K-E-Enzweiler/dp/1329062213/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1432825657&sr=1-2&keywords=m%2Fs+for+the+rest+of+us

I am the founder of the Albuquerque Masters Group. We meet once every other month. The group is open to all who wish to explore their Mastery, slavery, or Dominance and submission. Please contact me here or at my email : Bigdykebear@yahoo.com for more information!
The meetings are free to all who wish to attend!

If you are interested in power munches, skills workshops or play parties in the Albuquerque area please contact the 20 year organization of AEL at:


If you are interested in active online community please find:


Group names for the Albuquerque Community Include:

Land Of Enchantment Fetlifers

Albuquerque Kinksters

KinkySpot Clubhouse

Albuquerque Master/slave forum

New Mexico Leather League: Leather/Kink/Fetish and More

Friday, January 20, 2012

Leashes and their connection to a Masters power

I was having this very interesting conversation with another Master a bit ago and they were talking about how collars and leashes were very important to them. For them the use of the leash was not only a huge undertaking of trust, as well as a direct symbol to those around them, but it also very strongly represented the concept that the Master is just as tied to the slave as the slave is to the Master. Since the Master as well as the slave could not go any further then the leash would allow.

I listened intently, because I had always been curious about what that particular act did for people, and people that are really into leashes are really into leashes. So I wondered what I was missing out on, that perhaps I had to quickly overlooked the experience. So I took a day or two and mulled it over and began to realize why I didn’t really have a personal connection of empowerment when it came to the concept of using the leash.

I have been blessed enough to have been able to be around horses since I was about 18, with a five year break taken because of my disastrous first marriage. Currently I have two horses of my own, Pokey who clocks in at about 1250 pounds and Rainey who is at about 1600 pounds. Despite their size, their own intentions, and their “not so” pure muscle (I like them a little round) given the right tools I can very easily physically dominate them both. I could cause them to fall and stay on the ground. I could force them to run for hours, or I could with minimal effort, put them in a position where I could do anything to their bodies, while simultaneously taking away their ability to fight back.

BUT- it is the “control” that I have over them without putting a thing on them that translates to me personally as pure power.

When it is just me and my beautiful horses in the pasture I can get them to move to and from me, move in a circle around me , or step to the side and that is when I know that they are responding to me and my unspoken needs. I can sense that they are really watching me, waiting to see what I would want next and responding in kind to my body. It is a feeling of intense connection and control.

This concept of hands off control has taken a deep seated root in all parts of my life.

With my slave I feel that if I have a leash on her that I have her right in my hands, and I’m bigger then her, so being able to dominate her would be fairly easy, even if she resisted… mmmm… resistance.

For me I love the control that happens when we are out in public and my slave stops what she is doing, crosses a crowded room and comes over to check on me. That touches me somewhere deep. I also love it when she brings over my morning cup of whatever and kisses my forehead and heads off into the kitchen. These are things that she does without me ever laying a hand on her.

So on one hand I think that get it, the idea of the leash tying the slave to the Master, the idea that all others are sent a direct message, and that the slave is brought into an intense and constant reminder about their place of service.

But on the other hand, and maybe I am just lazy here, that’s a lot of work for me, and I know that for me personally that if I need to exhibit that type of constant and direct control, then I am not really in control at all. The leash is. Or rather if the leash isn’t there then neither is the control.

So I find it to be another interesting way that Masters and their connection to power vastly differs from person to person, neither is more right or more “Masterly” they are just different, and it was a good chance for me to look inside myself and find out a little more about my own connection to power.

What is your connection to power that makes you do or not do what others do?


  1. Here's a video on horse training I thought you might appreciate.

    "Uploaded by TEDxTalks on Jan 25, 2012

    Koelle Simpson is a horse whisperer and life coach. Most recently featured on the OWN Network series "Finding Sarah," Koelle's message has made profound impact on leaders, corporations, and change agents around the world from South Africa, Europe, UAE, Canada, and the United States.
    Koelle has had rare opportunities to apprentice with exceptional teachers, such as the best-selling author and horse trainer Monty Roberts, as well as internationally acclaimed life coach, best-selling self-help author and columnist at O Magazine, Dr. Martha Beck. Yet, the most life changing teachers of all came from those with four legs instead of two, most especially horses. Her mission in life is to return the gift by helping others rebuild trust in themselves and unleash the powerful leader within each of us."

  2. The way I see the "leash" of control, Domination, is that it is an invisible pwoer that ties 2 people together. And because it is not phsyically seen, the only people who can break that tie that binds them, is those 2 (or however many) people.

    Now, a physical representation of a symbol that should be felt and is known by all, is much easier to break. Drop the leash and some fool can pick it up and whisk yours away. Or it can be cut, destroyed and the control that was there that tied them together is gone forever.

    For me, a physical leash is a toy and a prop for a scene. The best leash I've used has been eye contact, a soft command that is not mistaken for anything else, and a barely noticable gesture.

    Thanks Bear!


  3. Oh WOW!! I really enjoy this! Thank you for your insight!!!