Master Patrick Mulcahey shares his journey....

I went to the PERV put on by Fetlife and was so honored to be able to hear Patrick Mulcahey (Big P) speak. He is a Master identified gay man in a long term relationship with his slave who is also named Patrick (little p).

 I loved being in the room full of other Master and slave couples. It is such a rarity for me to have that experience, and I really felt that the other couples were as excited to learn as I was!

It is very interesting listening to someone else’s journey. You never really know what sorts of things you will hear, or how they will resonate with you. I enjoyed how Big P talked about how Master/ slave relationships can sometimes be about form versus function. In other words, many people get into Master and slave relationships and they are all about the appearance of the relationship, but how the relationship will lack resilience without some type of foundation in how the Master feels about the slave.  How a Master feels about the slave being the basis of the relationship is very rarely discussed in M/s circles.

He talked about his personal journey, how he played with men by tying them up and fucking them, but how his dominant identity was still something that he picked up and put down. Until one day he realized that the Dominant identify was who he was and that everything else was the other or false life. 

After he embraced his Dominant side he was able to then move forward and embrace his Master identity.

 He also said it was when he met his slave, little p, that things really were fulfilled for him.

They talked about their relationship and how at first they had a contract. How the contract, in many ways helped Big P figure out and define what he really wanted in his life and relationship with little p.

Little p talked about how in his vanilla relationships his mistakes were always held against him and how that doesn’t happen now. Hearing that form a slave was very powerful.

 They also talked about how when Big P asks little p what he wants for dinner little p says-- whatever you want.  The significance for Big P is that it forces him to go inside and really evaluate what he wants, and how that empowers him immensely.

Overall there was much about the presentation that I did not agree with, but I LOVE LOVE hearing others in their journey. What I really enjoyed here was Big P’s candor and openness about his needs and life.  That was a gift.

This is a day that I will hold close, being next to other Master and slave couples, listening to Big P’s journey and seeing the love and devotion that Big P and little p had for each other, that resonated with me deeply.

The love and joy that they felt filled the room every time their eyes met.

That I completely understand.