Hello all not much better here, but working on ,it spending a lot of time in bed really. My slave is doing extra over time taking care of me. Here is something that I wrote I think in 2011.
There
is a lot of social pressure to be perfect. Not just having the right
look, the right degree, or the right job, but also the right partner,
the right dynamic, and the right amount of public recognition. These
types of pressures occur no matter what the social group. In lesbian
circles, there is generally a tendency towards social and economic
class-ism with an emphasis on gender expression appropriate partners. If
you as a couple don’t fit in that social group there will be no
question in your mind that it is time to move on. If you meet one of the
requirements but not the other, then you may be accepted, but not all
the way, and probably because someone else in the group wants to fuck
you. … Ahhh... Social circles.
BDSM
and leather are not free from these concepts of perfection. In some
ways we tend to put each other under a weird microscope. I think that
some of it is the normal social ideas of “where does someone fit in
with who is around them” and “where am I in my leather and BDSM journey
and were “should” I be”, and I think that some of it is based in the
good old fashioned need to feel better about ourselves.
What this does though, is create a strange veil of secrecy, for Masters in particularly.
To
be taken seriously as a Master that has control of their slave, a
Master may sometimes feel that they can’t really discuss the things that
happen in their household. Being open about difficulties that they are
having with obedience, compliance, and the training of the slave may
make the Master feel like they would be viewed as incompetent or
unskilled or maybe not a Master at all.
I
am not saying go and talk to that weird looking lady at the bus about
your household problems, or talk to anyone who will listen at the local
munch that you just met, what I am saying is that problems are
something that are universal, and they don’t well in a vacuum.
When
I have learned about the problems that other Masters have had in their
relationships I find that I relax a little. It helps me to relate to
them better, and I feel that the problems that I have had and will
continue to have in my leather journey aren’t just mine.
Some of the things that I have learned about other couples that have really helped me have been:
Three high powered couples whose slaves have threatened to and almost walked.
One couple who the slave would not do the housework, even though it is what the Master required.
One couple where the Master gave the slave over to another Master to train because everything that they tried had failed
And
one couple where the slave was cheating on the Master with another
Master, then when caught refused to stop seeing that other Master.
Perhaps
it is because problems are the great equalizer that makes them
difficult to discuss in real time. The Master and slave dynamic in many
ways is viewed as very simple and one sided. Master says, slave does,
life goes on. But the reality is that all consensual relationships come
with problems, even Master and slave ones.
Imagine
what we could learn from each other if we could drop the facade and
actually look at the realities that come with complex and there
dimensional relationships.
Being
in a Master and slave relationship makes my life full and powerful, but
that does not mean that we don’t argue, that she doesn’t have her own
ideas, and that I don’t have my own problems with obedience and
training. It doesn’t meant that I am less of a Master or that she is
less of a slave, it does mean however, that as real people we deal with
real issues that our titles don’t solve.
Just to put it out there if anyone has the magic recipe for making dusting happen and stay happening, I am all ears….
No comments:
Post a Comment