The depth of her service

Of all of the things that my slave does in my life there is one thing that stands above all others in her ability to be selfless and serve. It is not in how she tends to the house, the shopping, the meals, it is not her expansive and cunning sexual repertoire, or her endless patience in driving everywhere.   It is how she hears me. Her patient, logical, and kind ability to listen and hear me out, even when I start the dialogue with “I know that this isn’t logical…”

To me that is the ultimate in service and  her patience and listening  has comet o mean  more to me then  a  clean  house, a hot  meal, or even  an afternoon  romp.

Lately, I have been going through a lot of transition, it is the good kind, but painful, and absolutely taking its emotional toll on me.  When  I came home the other day after a very rough couple of conversations that gave me a lot to think about, Pokey our blind Appaloosa, had wandered off the property.   I was very grateful that the neighbors had stopped and caught him, but Rainey had run herself into a state of exhaustion out of worry and all of this while it is still early in her healing process from her life threatening leg injury. Luckily she wasn’t limping or sweating too much, so I don’t think that he was out long. Nevertheless, it is one of those incidents' that keep me up at night. Of course, the next day was set aside to repair our horse fence with Fort Knox-like sturdiness . I swear Pokey is like one of those velociraptors in Jurassic Park, always testing the fence line…

So back to transition. I am going through a lot of transition, and during these times I have found that the love and softness of my slave to be very comforting.    Her patience and understanding, her always finding ways to gently remind me about the difference in  what is right and when I make hasty decisions  that are  motivated by hurt and anger, what is my responsibility, and when it is not my job to carry the baggage of others.  She reminds' me of how much  I deserve and all that I offer to my friends', loved ones, and the community around me.   She reminds me of what I can and cannot control.  Her ability to provide all of these these things has  made all of the difference to me as I go through a world of emotional changes.   In these things I hold my slave in the highest esteem.  It isn’t that she tells me what is pretty, or what I want to hear,  it is that she tells me what I need to hear, even if it burn s a little. 

It is through service that she leads. 

I know that everything will work itself out.  Life has a tendency to do that.  I also know that in another year or so I will be looking back at this time thinking “that was rough, but I made it, and I have that under my belt as another accomplishment in life.” 

Of all of the things that are painful, difficult, challenging, and hurtful right now, it is her love that I will remember the most, her patience as she takes me onto her lap and scratches my back and tells me all of those things that help me to fall asleep.

That is service, it is love, and it is the most selfless act that is driven by hope, faith, service, and 11 years of a life together.

So through  all of the transitions I feel her walking with me, sitting on my shoulder, reminding me that I can  be better, I can  be more,  and being with her--   makes me want to be.