I have written a book called "M/s for the Rest of Us" it is available for purchase here: http://www.lulu.com/shop/k-e-enzweiler/ms-for-the-rest-of-us/paperback/product-22151343.html

Or on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Rest-Us-K-E-Enzweiler/dp/1329062213/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1432825657&sr=1-2&keywords=m%2Fs+for+the+rest+of+us

I am the founder of the Albuquerque Masters Group. We meet once every other month. The group is open to all who wish to explore their Mastery, slavery, or Dominance and submission. Please contact me here or at my email : Bigdykebear@yahoo.com for more information!
The meetings are free to all who wish to attend!

If you are interested in power munches, skills workshops or play parties in the Albuquerque area please contact the 20 year organization of AEL at:


If you are interested in active online community please find:


Group names for the Albuquerque Community Include:

Land Of Enchantment Fetlifers

Albuquerque Kinksters

KinkySpot Clubhouse

Albuquerque Master/slave forum

New Mexico Leather League: Leather/Kink/Fetish and More

Friday, April 11, 2014

My cracked out moment..... Possible trigger warning.

So  this week  I was so  exhausted, but we had errands to  run  in  town. At the end of the errands my slave says lets go  out to dinner so  when we get home you can just crash.

 Wonderful  in  theory-   so  we go  to  Luigis -  one of my favorite places.

 And at the end of the dinner I was so  delirious that when I spilled ice cream on my shirt  I started rubbing myself and saying  "Its all  over me!!! Its all over me!!!"

Luckily the waitress knew us pretty well-  because I looked like a cracked out mess and because I had rubbed  the ice cream into my shirt  at that point-  so there was nothing to see.

So I was feeling myself up, pointing at my tits and saying -  "its all over me!!  LOOK!! CAN'T you seee it???"


one of my better moments.

On the good news front- school is going well. I have another hard push  for the next three weeks, but then  I can  rest for  a week before I start summer classes.

I am struggling with  something though--  I don't feel  good.

I cant remember the last time that I really felt good.

I feel  so  sluggish  and tired and beaten up  all the time.

 I am  trying to keep  my body image intact as I get slower and slower from  not having time to  do  what I normally do. And from  just the mental  and physical  exhaustion of having to  get so  much done.

I feel  bulky, and awkward, undesirable, repulsive, and  physically weak.

That is hard sometimes.

I know --I know-  One thing for another-  But I cant wait for this semester to  be over so  that I will have the time to do  the things that I deeply miss that helped me feel  strong and powerful again.

 I know that this is worth  it-  I just have to  keep  reminding myself that there is an  end here. And a well  earned hike when  that happens.

And that I am  still of worth  even if it doesn't.



  1. It has been a hard Spring semester for many of us, even though things have been different. Sending you and yours strength to get through and hopes that you get your hike. *soft smile*

  2. Thank you, I also hope for a hike. But I also hope for an intact sense of self!!!! Hugz to you.

  3. You have a lot going on, I can relate to the way your feeling. You are far from bulky, and awkward, undesirable, repulsive, you are one of the most amazing , attractive, desirable, smart, caring people that I have had the honor of meeting. When I have had the wonderful pleasure of attending your classes or being around you it has always uplifted me and filled me with a much needed burst of acceptance and love for who I am and who I want to be. (corney I know - but so true) The things that you and your beautiful wife have endured over the past couple of years would kick anyone in the ass! I will be happy when you get a chance for a much needed break! I do hope that you get the "Intact sense of self" that you need!

  4. Dearest Butterfly,

    Thank you so much for your words, When I first read your response I had to stop and read it again. Thank you for knowing and understanding the meaning of needing an intact sense of self.
    Thank you for all of your kind and heartfelt words. When I am able to be around you - you uplift me with your beauty, your strength, your heart and that unforgettable smile! Love to you and yours, K

  5. Awww......Thank you so much for the very much needed words of love and support! I just love you and yours!