I have written a book called "M/s for the Rest of Us" it is available for purchase here: http://www.lulu.com/shop/k-e-enzweiler/ms-for-the-rest-of-us/paperback/product-22151343.html

Or on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Rest-Us-K-E-Enzweiler/dp/1329062213/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1432825657&sr=1-2&keywords=m%2Fs+for+the+rest+of+us

I am the founder of the Albuquerque Masters Group. We meet once every other month. The group is open to all who wish to explore their Mastery, slavery, or Dominance and submission. Please contact me here or at my email : Bigdykebear@yahoo.com for more information!
The meetings are free to all who wish to attend!

If you are interested in power munches, skills workshops or play parties in the Albuquerque area please contact the 20 year organization of AEL at:


If you are interested in active online community please find:


Group names for the Albuquerque Community Include:

Land Of Enchantment Fetlifers

Albuquerque Kinksters

KinkySpot Clubhouse

Albuquerque Master/slave forum

New Mexico Leather League: Leather/Kink/Fetish and More

Friday, May 30, 2014

The AMG and Does religion Matter?

The last AMG (Albuquerque Masters Group) was very invigorating for me. There were a lot of really thought provoking questions asked, and so much sharing and candor. There was so much to mull over that I am still thinking about some of what was said and what I learned. 

One of the questions asked brought on a very good debate, it was “could you own someone of a significantly different sexual preference then yours?” It was a powerful question. Some people said yes, others said no, it was well debated and everyone seemed to have a strong opinion. The cool thing was that no one was more right than anyone else and everyone listened to what others had to say.

 However this question got me to thinking- what things would matter in an M/s relationship if they were directly opposite of each other? Sexual preference, religion, economic status, educational status, health status? All of those things influence a person’s inner perspective, quality of life, and how they view their place in the world as a whole. So what would it mean if the Master and the slave are on extremely different ends of one another?

 Of course the easy answer is “love- or service - conquers all”. 

Yea- OK- and now back  to real life. 

My first wife was a christian. At first it didn’t bother me, but over time it became more and more a pressured issue, and after a while it was blatantly obvious to  me  that it was something that I didn’t want any part of. What she would say when I wouldn’t want to go to the latest christian gathering was that I was unsupportive of her, or how could I understand her if I didn’t understand her spiritual base? (I am toning it down here, but that was the gist of it.)

These were powerful statements especially in the face of me being introduced as her “friend” at these gatherings. I hated going, but I didn’t feel I had much of an emotional choice.  When I wouldn’t go she would escalate.  Always with a reason that in that time and space sounded reasonable, and when I would go she would de-escalate. 

There are those that say- it isn’t the religion - it is how the person uses the religion- and I get that and it is a beautiful theory- but the reality is that opposite religions is another thing that separates people in their most intimate of times- dealing with stress, marriage, birth, death, divorce. 

My ex was under a ton of stress and pressure from her family and friends because of her sexuality changing- so when she was feeling pressured, or under stress she went back to her religion for comfort. When I could no longer be a part of it with her, or even pretend to be, it increased the already widening gap between her and me. I don’t think that she thought that she was being unreasonable. I think that she really believed that if we could share in that together that it would somehow make “us” better. 

That is not how it felt to me- it felt like an assault to my senses- an assault to what I felt was right and to what I viscerally believed to be true. It was some of the hardest times in my life to be sitting or standing at those gatherings or that church and just feeling so on guard that I would feel  nauseous and afterwards I ached all over and had to go to rest.

Now- the whole marriage was bad- but that was just one aspect of how difficult it was to be with someone who was so spiritually different from me.

My slave and I have the same religion, although we both practice different aspects of it. I am grateful for this. I learned a lot from watching and talking with my slave. But I wonder, what would it mean for us if her spiritual path was directly in opposition to mine? Could I do that again and stay in a relationship where I felt that I could not relate to or was deeply offended by her spiritual path?

I believe that as a Master there are things that I have no right to mess with and my slave’s spiritual path is one of them. That is something that she has to decide for herself and I feel that even though I have ownership over her that her spiritual path is her and hers alone.

I am blessed that I don’t have to ask these questions of myself and my slave. 

But I think that the question has merit. We can say that those things can be negotiated, that they shouldn’t matter, but they do matter and anything can be negotiated except for how a person feels- that can never be negotiated. 

So  as I look  back  now  it now  I can only say That I am so  utterly grateful  that I don’t have to deal with  that. I don’t know if I could. Having the same spiritual base has given me insight into my slave and how we celebrate life together.

 I am not saying that it is not doing able - for many it is- I am saying that I am glad that it isn’t were we are.

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