I have written a book called "M/s for the Rest of Us" it is available for purchase here: http://www.lulu.com/shop/k-e-enzweiler/ms-for-the-rest-of-us/paperback/product-22151343.html

Or on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Rest-Us-K-E-Enzweiler/dp/1329062213/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1432825657&sr=1-2&keywords=m%2Fs+for+the+rest+of+us

I am the founder of the Albuquerque Masters Group. We meet once every other month. The group is open to all who wish to explore their Mastery, slavery, or Dominance and submission. Please contact me here or at my email : Bigdykebear@yahoo.com for more information!
The meetings are free to all who wish to attend!

If you are interested in power munches, skills workshops or play parties in the Albuquerque area please contact the 20 year organization of AEL at:


If you are interested in active online community please find:


Group names for the Albuquerque Community Include:

Land Of Enchantment Fetlifers

Albuquerque Kinksters

KinkySpot Clubhouse

Albuquerque Master/slave forum

New Mexico Leather League: Leather/Kink/Fetish and More

Friday, March 13, 2015

When reason is replaced with hurt.

Hey everyone. this has been  a really shit week. I wrote about it.
But I don't really want to be that raw right now.

What I do  know is this- I am  looking forward to  the AEL play party on Saturday.

I need sleep.

I know that I am  not doing well  because I am  taking everything personally, and my slave and I got into a fight. 

That is the litmus. We generally dont fight.

So  I know that this is when my reason is replaced with hurt.

I have no  time to  do the things that I love.

Right now I am supposed to  be  prepping for Spring Pan.
I owe them  a write up for the class I will be teaching.
 I love that - I feel  so  deeply blessed that they have chose us to vend and me to present.

My book  is back in  the hands of my editor, I am  waiting to  do  my next rewrite. 
 I love that,  my editor is amazing. It is a huge emotional  step in the next part of my life.

I haven't had time to  find a host house for the AMG/AEL Kinkskills skills day on the 12th  of April.
I love these projects, and I believe in  them.

I haven't had time to  write those that I care about.

I feel  in  over my head and raw.

Like the next thing will  take me out. Like the next thing that happens will do  me in.

 I am  not sleeping.

So  nothing is coming for a place of reason  right now.  Everything is raw, personal, and more intentional  then it really is. This last week  has played on  all  of my deep wounds-  with  a little salt.

I know that next week  will be different.

The AEL  play party will  be awesome.

I will get sleep.

It will  change.

But right now it just burns.


  1. Fortunately, you are among people who will support you when you aren't a complete fortress of self-reliance. That's one of the things friends are for. If you start to sag, we'll help hold you up.