I have written a book called "M/s for the Rest of Us" it is available for purchase here: http://www.lulu.com/shop/k-e-enzweiler/ms-for-the-rest-of-us/paperback/product-22151343.html

Or on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Rest-Us-K-E-Enzweiler/dp/1329062213/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1432825657&sr=1-2&keywords=m%2Fs+for+the+rest+of+us

I am the founder of the Albuquerque Masters Group. We meet once every other month. The group is open to all who wish to explore their Mastery, slavery, or Dominance and submission. Please contact me here or at my email : Bigdykebear@yahoo.com for more information!
The meetings are free to all who wish to attend!

If you are interested in power munches, skills workshops or play parties in the Albuquerque area please contact the 20 year organization of AEL at:


If you are interested in active online community please find:


Group names for the Albuquerque Community Include:

Land Of Enchantment Fetlifers

Albuquerque Kinksters

KinkySpot Clubhouse

Albuquerque Master/slave forum

New Mexico Leather League: Leather/Kink/Fetish and More

Tuesday, June 23, 2015

"HOW TO" Hospital Etiquette

Hello all. Last week I was in the hospital with kidney stones, I have never had those before. I went in  for surgery on  Thursday  for stent placement but did not do  well on  the table so  they quit early and got me back  up to  my room. Overall I was there from Wednesday night until Saturday afternoon. Everyone in the hospital was amazing. Most people knew me so they took extra special care of me.  It was intense, and very difficult.  I have never had an experience like this; I have never had surgery, much less emergent surgery.   

As I was being visited by some people some things became really apparent. When someone that a person  cares about is in  the hospital people don’t know how to  act or what to  say, so sometimes they unintentionally make things more difficult for the persons who  is ill.

So I am writing this to give you all a “HOW TO” visit someone in the hospital.

So to start my slave did not let anyone know about the event for a few reasons, one our phone completely died and once it dies it takes 3 hours of continuous charge just to turn it on. Two  she was so  deeply overwhelmed and terrified by what I  was going through  that she was out of her mind with  fear, and three) I was her only focus.

So people that found out after the fact that are upset that they were not contacted need to stop. Your frustration over not being called is not helping. Even though I am out of the hospital and home my slave is still going through waves of fear.  she says that she flashes back  to  me being in  the hospital  bed in pain, or the ambulance driving away  with  me as she was forced to  follow me to  the emergency room  and not speed. Although we both understand your feelings- right now it isn’t about you.

Secondly- unless you are given permission from the people in the hospital to tell others, please don’t. Once the word was out the phone at the hospital blew up. So while my slave was out running errands  she couldn’t get through to me. This sent her into a panic.  I know that people meant well, but it can tie up communication. And for people like us who only own one cell phone the hospital phone was how she needed to reach me.  

Thirdly- if you come to visit. Please keep the conversation/ visit short and focused on the patient. Conversations take energy, and if the person that comes to visit is self focused as in ----talking about their problems, or asking something from the sick individual then the visit becomes more of a drain then an uplifting thing. 

I know that my visitors meant well, but I was literally exhausted when they left. I had to  pay attention to  them, I had to  engage in and listen to  their problems, and in  some cases, actually had to  ask  them  to  table personal requests from  me.  If you visit someone in the hospital- PUT YOURSELF ASIDE for the 5 minutes that you are there. 

Talk to them about them, invest in them. Otherwise all that you are doing is making it more difficult and tiring FOR THE PERSON who is ILL.

Fourth- please watch for oxygen and IV lines.  Be careful not to grab hands or arms without looking first. IV’s even when they are in place can hurt so please when you lovingly grab someone’s hand LOOK FIRST.

I am trying to be OK with everything that has happened here. 

Wednesday night on the way to   the hospital we had to stop over on the side of the highway and call 911 for the ambulance to come get me. I was in the emergency room for about 12 hours, of that time the pain was unreal. I vaguely remember my whole body shaking and bucking. I maxed out on pain meds and had to try to talk myself through the next 15 minutes, and then the next 15 minutes. Thursday I went in for surgery, Friday I was out of it and tired. By Saturday I was kind of coming back into myself, but I was so unbelievably tired. Small things wiped me out, like walking to the bathroom, or pulling myself up in the bed. I don’t remember the ride home, or Sunday. But I know that they happened.

So thank you to all who tried to bring comfort. I am slowly recovering, I am tired a lot. I have to go back in for more surgery once the infection passes, but my Dr rocks. 

What I ask is that if you are reading this please really look inside of yourself. If you are not able to focus on someone else for a quick 5 minutes, please don’t come, just write a nice FB or Fet note. It will do a lot more good.  

My slave is emotionally exhausted. she is beyond not OK at the moment. So please if you can’t be here to support her or me, just step back. We won’t mind. We can’t comfort you right now.  We can’t make this right for you right now. We aren’t in a place where we can explain, justify, or give right now. Please understand it isn’t personal. We are just needing to  be OK. 


  1. Kidney stones and infections fucking suck. I hope your recovery is uneventful. Be well, both of you, and know that there are people who care very much about you both.

  2. Thank you Darla- I really appreciate it. Much better today. Trying to get my head together:)

  3. I wish you both a speedy recovery. If I can help, please don't hesitate to call on me.

  4. Thank you :) Slow, but recovering.