I have written a book called "M/s for the Rest of Us" it is available for purchase here: http://www.lulu.com/shop/k-e-enzweiler/ms-for-the-rest-of-us/paperback/product-22151343.html
Or on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Rest-Us-K-E-Enzweiler/dp/1329062213/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1432825657&sr=1-2&keywords=m%2Fs+for+the+rest+of+us
I am the founder of the Albuquerque Masters Group. We meet once every other month. The group is open to all who wish to explore their Mastery, slavery, or Dominance and submission. Please contact me here or at my email : Bigdykebear@yahoo.com for more information! The meetings are free to all who wish to attend!
If you are interested in power munches, skills workshops or play parties in the Albuquerque area please contact the 20 year organization of AEL at:
If you are interested in active online community please find:
Group names for the Albuquerque Community Include:
Land Of Enchantment Fetlifers
Albuquerque Master/slave forum
New Mexico Leather League: Leather/Kink/Fetish and More
Friday, April 29, 2016
Excerpt from my AEL Presentation
So –why is it that BDSM protocol is considered different? So much so that people spend years, if not decades refining it, talking about it and fighting about it. It is something that makes or breaks friendships, partnerships, even marriages. It can determine your social base, as in- do you hang out with people who believe strongly in it, people who believe it doesn’t apply to them, and people who respect it, but don’t practice. Who are your friends, and how do your friends reflect your own practices?
Protocol is something that we use in BDSM for many purposes. Most commonly it strengthens the bonds of power exchange relationships, it creates a hierarchy and structure to showing respect, and it is so ingrained in our BDSM culture that when it is broken it is a “scandal”. Its like porn- we may not know what it is but we sure know what its not. We may not always know what protocol is, but we sure do seem to gossip about when it isn’t followed!
Common protocols that we all seem to follow no matter where we are on the protocol spectrum- of high to no protocol- saying please and thank you, not playing at the Wet Munch, not drinking at Leather fiesta, not having sex at AEL. We can say on one hand that these are the rules and we follow the rules. But are they not also the protocols of that event, that person’s home, that organizers preferences? And what is a protocol but a preferred way of acting, dressing, talking and being?
I think that what I am trying to say here is that protocol is important because whether you like it or not, whether you are a “non conformists bad ass” or not, if we don’t follow the social protocol then we don’t get asked back. And you end up being a very lonely non conformists bad ass, who doesn’t get recognized for just how much of a bad ass you are because no one wants to be around you.
BDSM protocol has a long and glorious and most likely somewhat fictional history. As I was beginning to work on this I went first to the internet- and I had a blast. I actually fund some amazing, insightful, and through sites to protocol and printed out some PDF's . I also found a lot of hot air. And it smelled funny.