I have written a book called "M/s for the Rest of Us" it is available for purchase here: http://www.lulu.com/shop/k-e-enzweiler/ms-for-the-rest-of-us/paperback/product-22151343.html

Or on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Rest-Us-K-E-Enzweiler/dp/1329062213/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1432825657&sr=1-2&keywords=m%2Fs+for+the+rest+of+us

I am the founder of the Albuquerque Masters Group. We meet once every other month. The group is open to all who wish to explore their Mastery, slavery, or Dominance and submission. Please contact me here or at my email : Bigdykebear@yahoo.com for more information!
The meetings are free to all who wish to attend!

If you are interested in power munches, skills workshops or play parties in the Albuquerque area please contact the 20 year organization of AEL at:


If you are interested in active online community please find:


Group names for the Albuquerque Community Include:

Land Of Enchantment Fetlifers

Albuquerque Kinksters

KinkySpot Clubhouse

Albuquerque Master/slave forum

New Mexico Leather League: Leather/Kink/Fetish and More

Friday, August 22, 2014

All Masters have something that they hesitate about.

There are things that we all have difficulty asking for from our partners and surprisingly Masters are no different.  This comes to mind because over the last few months I have had multiple conversations with different  people about their relationships and at one point the conversation  would drift to  things that they couldn’t  or wouldn’t ask  from their partner.   

When I look at those relationships I can sit back and see why they won’t ask from their partners.  Fear of losing the relationship, fear of angering an unstable partner, fear of exposing themselves when they already feel unsafe, fear of rejection, fear of emotional revenge. I can see those dynamics play out. 

These multiple conversations brought me to thinking about my relationship with my slave, but first to take apart reality from myth. 

Myth:  Masters- to be Masters – are always self assured, confident and able to ask for what they want and desire.  Masters are able to make what they want and desire happen with another person.

Reality: In all Masters there are things that we can’t talk about, or are afraid of asking for.  There are conversations that we don’t want to have and because we are used to being catered to are sometimes emotionally unprepared to have. Being catered to  means that the relationship  can  create  a sense of entitlement and sometimes we as Masters get so  comfortable in  what we are experiencing that having a conversation  about something that challenges us  becomes  too  difficult. In essence we can get emotionally lazy.  

Taking a back seat and looking at the relationships of others I can see what I think are clear reasons for someone to withhold asking for what they desire. But all of this brings me around to my relationship. How does what I am seeing in others equate to my relationship with my slave? I have thought about that over the last few days trying to come up with some insight. My slave rarely says no to me, and I can’t remember the last time she said no when it came to  a sex or service request. 

But still there are times and things that I don’t ask even though I desire them. Why? I could say because she (insert reason here).   But that really isn’t it. This is mine. 

Sometimes asking for what I desire is just hard. It has no  real  reason  why it is, and by that I mean  there is no  reason  based in  reality. My slave isn’t going to  say no, she isn’t going to  refuse, and she isn’t going to leave me or make me pay emotionally for a request. So  this is me.
And honestly  I don’t have answers as to  why I am  hesitant I just know that when it comes to  some desires I hesitate or go  without instead of asking. 

So  now I have a new something that I want to  challenge myself with.
I want to  ask  for that every difficult thing next time the occasion arises. I want to be able to  ask  for these things freely without double thinking myself.

So that is my goal.
Now- if I can just get her naked- no wait- that is an easy request…..

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