I have written a book called "M/s for the Rest of Us" it is available for purchase here: http://www.lulu.com/shop/k-e-enzweiler/ms-for-the-rest-of-us/paperback/product-22151343.html
Or on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Rest-Us-K-E-Enzweiler/dp/1329062213/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1432825657&sr=1-2&keywords=m%2Fs+for+the+rest+of+us
I am the founder of the Albuquerque Masters Group. We meet once every other month. The group is open to all who wish to explore their Mastery, slavery, or Dominance and submission. Please contact me here or at my email : Bigdykebear@yahoo.com for more information! The meetings are free to all who wish to attend!
If you are interested in power munches, skills workshops or play parties in the Albuquerque area please contact the 20 year organization of AEL at:
If you are interested in active online community please find:
Group names for the Albuquerque Community Include:
Land Of Enchantment Fetlifers
Albuquerque Master/slave forum
New Mexico Leather League: Leather/Kink/Fetish and More
Friday, August 22, 2014
All Masters have something that they hesitate about.
There are things that we all have difficulty asking for from our partners and surprisingly Masters are no different. This comes to mind because over the last few months I have had multiple conversations with different people about their relationships and at one point the conversation would drift to things that they couldn’t or wouldn’t ask from their partner.
When I look at those relationships I can sit back and see why they won’t ask from their partners. Fear of losing the relationship, fear of angering an unstable partner, fear of exposing themselves when they already feel unsafe, fear of rejection, fear of emotional revenge. I can see those dynamics play out.
These multiple conversations brought me to thinking about my relationship with my slave, but first to take apart reality from myth.
Myth: Masters- to be Masters – are always self assured, confident and able to ask for what they want and desire. Masters are able to make what they want and desire happen with another person.
Reality: In all Masters there are things that we can’t talk about, or are afraid of asking for. There are conversations that we don’t want to have and because we are used to being catered to are sometimes emotionally unprepared to have. Being catered to means that the relationship can create a sense of entitlement and sometimes we as Masters get so comfortable in what we are experiencing that having a conversation about something that challenges us becomes too difficult. In essence we can get emotionally lazy.
Taking a back seat and looking at the relationships of others I can see what I think are clear reasons for someone to withhold asking for what they desire. But all of this brings me around to my relationship. How does what I am seeing in others equate to my relationship with my slave? I have thought about that over the last few days trying to come up with some insight. My slave rarely says no to me, and I can’t remember the last time she said no when it came to a sex or service request.
But still there are times and things that I don’t ask even though I desire them. Why? I could say because she (insert reason here). But that really isn’t it. This is mine.
Sometimes asking for what I desire is just hard. It has no real reason why it is, and by that I mean there is no reason based in reality. My slave isn’t going to say no, she isn’t going to refuse, and she isn’t going to leave me or make me pay emotionally for a request. So this is me.
And honestly I don’t have answers as to why I am hesitant I just know that when it comes to some desires I hesitate or go without instead of asking.
So now I have a new something that I want to challenge myself with.
I want to ask for that every difficult thing next time the occasion arises. I want to be able to ask for these things freely without double thinking myself.
So that is my goal.
Now- if I can just get her naked- no wait- that is an easy request…..