I have written a book called "M/s for the Rest of Us" it is available for purchase here: http://www.lulu.com/shop/k-e-enzweiler/ms-for-the-rest-of-us/paperback/product-22151343.html

Or on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Rest-Us-K-E-Enzweiler/dp/1329062213/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1432825657&sr=1-2&keywords=m%2Fs+for+the+rest+of+us

I am the founder of the Albuquerque Masters Group. We meet once every other month. The group is open to all who wish to explore their Mastery, slavery, or Dominance and submission. Please contact me here or at my email : Bigdykebear@yahoo.com for more information!
The meetings are free to all who wish to attend!

If you are interested in power munches, skills workshops or play parties in the Albuquerque area please contact the 20 year organization of AEL at:


If you are interested in active online community please find:


Group names for the Albuquerque Community Include:

Land Of Enchantment Fetlifers

Albuquerque Kinksters

KinkySpot Clubhouse

Albuquerque Master/slave forum

New Mexico Leather League: Leather/Kink/Fetish and More

Friday, August 29, 2014

Should there be a title in New Mexico?

This week we had the pleasure of being asked to present at AEL on a panel with some amazing people. There were three other people beside my slave and I, and we all had completely different prospective on the topics. It was really interesting to listen to the others on the panel talk about their experiences, beliefs and desires. At the end of the topic there was one question that was asked, but as we were out of time, it went unanswered, and I thought that I would tackle it here.

 The question was “Should there be a title in New Mexico?” Basically one of the other panel members and I groaned in response. But over the next day or so I really thought about it. 

I think that if New Mexico would open another title that it would only be if the title itself had a purpose. If the titleholder was required to hold at least one fundraiser every three months, if they had to incorporate at least 4 different community groups into each fundraiser to provide across the board representation, if they had to teach a certain amount of classes over the year and account for every dollar raised, and send out a monthly report to the community at large through Fetlife.  I could see having a title again. 

But otherwise what would be the point?

Seriously?  What is the point? To have a title just to say we have a title-  big deal. And hat means what and does what for our community? It affects this community how? I am not ANTI- Title.  I am  ANTI- Purposeless.

There is a lot of planning, time, effort, energy, thought, love and devotion that goes into a title and its holders. People that dedicated themselves to holding a contest are passionate about it, and they also take quite the beating for it. The complaint list is always 3 times longer than the compliment list. It is hours of work.

So I say sure, a title in New Mexico   could be a really good thing. But have it come with a meaning, a purpose, and accountability. Make it be about more than how someone looks, and whether or not that person can travel. Make it about being a representative that does things in and for OUR community. That can bring together all kinds of people, someone who mobilizes, inspires and is a lightning rod for others. 

I can see where a title can do all sorts of good things- but only if it is formulated that away. Otherwise might as well stand in a group and throw out a sash and whoever catches it gets to try to remember it for the next year. 

If we are going to have a representative – how would you like them to represent you?


  1. i was hoping to learn why "a title in New Mexico could be a really good thing.". that might be the issue.... a title holder needs community support

  2. im not trying to be antagonistic. i really dont get it

  3. Hello Sarah! I am glad that you asked! I dont find that antagonistic at all. Title holders in Albuquerque have - from my experience - always had tremendous community support. When the title holder themselves have put in the work to this community this community responds with tons of love. So the community isn't the issue.

    For the last title that NM had the only thing that they have required is that the title holder travel to represent NM. This is a good thing because if the title holder does it right it can attract big names to come down here to speak and present.

    It can be a not so good thing because this community does not see the title holder, and if the title holder does not touch base with the community on a regular basis- then the title holder and the community loose touch.

    In my opinion where a title holder can be a really good thing is IF the title holder is required to organize and work within our community, to be visible, to raise funds for charity, to be a representation of us to others who may 1) be interested in BDSM but didn't know we had a community here. 2) be a go -to person who can be called on to represent us in some media 3) work within the community to create occasions for the separate groups to work together. (Someone may not want to participate in a show for another person, but if that person is a title holder, they would be more likely to say yes.)

    A lot of other community have title holders and use their title holders to network to bring others into town to speak, present, and teach.

    A titleholder can be wonderful if they are doing outreach for our community and working within our community to bring people together at the same time.

    Does that make sense?

  4. Yes that makes sense. Sort of a political representative... a community rep.

  5. Yes- to the point where even at events people will ask if you have a title holder.