I have written a book called "M/s for the Rest of Us" it is available for purchase here: http://www.lulu.com/shop/k-e-enzweiler/ms-for-the-rest-of-us/paperback/product-22151343.html

Or on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Rest-Us-K-E-Enzweiler/dp/1329062213/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1432825657&sr=1-2&keywords=m%2Fs+for+the+rest+of+us

I am the founder of the Albuquerque Masters Group. We meet once every other month. The group is open to all who wish to explore their Mastery, slavery, or Dominance and submission. Please contact me here or at my email : Bigdykebear@yahoo.com for more information!
The meetings are free to all who wish to attend!

If you are interested in power munches, skills workshops or play parties in the Albuquerque area please contact the 20 year organization of AEL at:


If you are interested in active online community please find:


Group names for the Albuquerque Community Include:

Land Of Enchantment Fetlifers

Albuquerque Kinksters

KinkySpot Clubhouse

Albuquerque Master/slave forum

New Mexico Leather League: Leather/Kink/Fetish and More

Friday, November 7, 2014

The Rock of Reality

Recently I had the wonderful  experience of sitting down  with  another Master that I highly respect. I have a lot of fun as there are things that we agree on and things that we definitely don’t. That being said we are both extremely passionate about Mastery, slavery, and leather. 

So  the conversations are always colorful and animated. During our last get together (which  are unfortunately rare) she said something that really stuck  with  me.

We were talking about receiving  feedback  and she just offhandedly said  that she cant be a Master to  a rock. It was such  strong imagery that I had to pause.

There are a lot of Masters who  train  their slaves to give no  feedback in  life or in  play. It is the slaves job to take and respond accordingly- but feedback  is neither wanted nor desired. 

More than  that they actively train  their slaves to have no  opinion, this includes training not to recognize, speak, or acknowledge their own wants, needs or desires. 
For theses types of Masters the control is in the taking away of another’s voice- turning them into those who  only respond. 

I have played with  people that have been  trained in  this fashion, and it is well-  boring as hell. 
They are trained to  not move,  respond,  cry out,  or interact, and forget about talking to  them about what pushes their limits, turns them off or on, or is a trigger.   So  not only is there no  reference for how they are doing- they legitimately cannot tell  me what is pleasurable and what isn't. Because-  get this-  they DONT know. 
They have been  trained to  go  through  the motions, but if I ask  them what they feel, they cant tell  me.
It is like flogging a stone. 

I can  do  anything-  no  warm, up,  hit as hard as I please, mis hit,  fart- it doesn't matter. 
When I have played with  these people I have walked away thinking and feeling- well  that was -  pointless. I could have had a V-8…… 

But I digress- how this Master explained the concept of owning a rock was really powerful . She can  do  anything to  a rock, put it anywhere, call it anything, use it anyway that she pleases, but what she cant do is  have a conversation  with  it, watch  it grow,  ask  for its desires and get its feedback.  

 At this point as we were talking  she was actually holding a rock  and she pitched it to  the ground and it stayed there. Just like a slave trained in  that fashion would do  if thrown  to  the ground. It would stay there until  it was told its next move. I looked at the rock  and in  my minds eye I could see it-  the rock, the slave resting there waiting…

I am  not knocking others Masters desires or how they want to  experience their slaves interactions. 

I know what works for me, and it was really refreshing to  have someone else that feels the same way that I do, and can  express not just how she feels but why.

I have always felt that the power of what we do  is in  the interaction of the players. If I want to  just hand out random orders and be obeyed I would hire a maid, and a cook, and a driver. But that isn’t what really gets me off. It is the back  and forth, the learning of myself, the pushing of my own  skill, the not always being right. The challenge of loving a  slave that loves me back.

I think this is another type of experience that people can have in  the BDSM  realm.  It isn’t that one is more right then  the other.  All  different types of desires have people that feed them and there are many people put there who  want to  be the Masters rock. It works for them, it fits into  their psychology, and fulfills their inner workings.

But part of me thinks- is this more avoidance of real  life instead of integrating into it?

But who  am I to  say? I am  a poly lesbian  identified Master in  an  interracial  24/7 Master slave relationship.  

 So my reference for real  life may be somewhat skewed……

Thank  you to Lady Golden for such  amazing conversation!  


  1. Master Bear, I have been that rock, not because I had no feelings but because I was not allowed expression. I don't ever want to go to a place as such again. It is so much more fulfilling to be allowed all the emotions and feelings and even opinions (because I have this big fat juicy chess club brain) and I serve so much more completely. Is more of a gift, even if one is not given right now.

  2. How beautiful. You are absolutely right about being able to serve more completely when ALL of who you are is embraced.