I have written a book called "M/s for the Rest of Us" it is available for purchase here: http://www.lulu.com/shop/k-e-enzweiler/ms-for-the-rest-of-us/paperback/product-22151343.html
Or on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Rest-Us-K-E-Enzweiler/dp/1329062213/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1432825657&sr=1-2&keywords=m%2Fs+for+the+rest+of+us
I am the founder of the Albuquerque Masters Group. We meet once every other month. The group is open to all who wish to explore their Mastery, slavery, or Dominance and submission. Please contact me here or at my email : Bigdykebear@yahoo.com for more information! The meetings are free to all who wish to attend!
If you are interested in power munches, skills workshops or play parties in the Albuquerque area please contact the 20 year organization of AEL at:
If you are interested in active online community please find:
Group names for the Albuquerque Community Include:
Land Of Enchantment Fetlifers
Albuquerque Master/slave forum
New Mexico Leather League: Leather/Kink/Fetish and More
Friday, January 11, 2013
Goals for Mastery
A few weeks back a friend of mine asked “What are the goals for your Mastery?”
At this point two things came to mind:
one “what a cool question!"
and two “Oh shit- should I have goals for my Mastery?”
So I had to ponder that for a while, and I realized a few things. I used to have goals for my Mastery, but once my slave and I were up and running I got really comfortable and didn’t focus on them as much. Which brought me to: how are goals for my Mastery separate from expectations from my slave and lastly if I were to have goals now, what would they be?
In the beginning of our relationship I had a lot of goals that defined our relationship as Master and slave. The goals were based in tasks, how I requested a task, how I felt requesting it, how I followed up on it and most importantly how my slave executed those tasks. All of this gave me a sense of where I was in my Mastery as well as were I wanted to go.
For example: do I ask for something with an air or impatience, gratitude, or expectant? How did I feel using each way of asking for something? Was it representing the type of Master that I wanted to be? Did I want to be an inpatient Master, a grateful one, or an expectant one? Was it bringing me closer or further away from my own personal goals?
Afterwards how did I follow up, did I want to use punishments and/ or rewards? If so how and when and what?
Then the biggie, how was my slave doing? Because that to me was the biggest reflection on my Mastery, was she learning ? Was she getting more confident? Was she following thorough and becoming more independent? Was she challenging herself and following through with even the difficult requests?
So in the beginning I think it was easier to have goals for my Mastery because they related so closely to what my slave was doing. But over time, as life moved on and we integrated our Master and slave relationship so thoroughly, I stopped focusing on my personal goals for Mastery and started focusing on other things. Although the M/s component of our life has remained central to our relationship, I think that I have gotten a little lazy and let all of my goals fall on the shoulders of my slave instead of thinking about my personal goals for my Mastery without her.
Since a lot of Mastery is socially recognized as the slaves performance, it is really difficult to think about what my goals could be that did not require more tasks form my salve, and yet would still give me that sense of empowerment.
At first I did come up with three things that I felt it had let go that I really wanted back for my sense of power. Unfortunately these tasks did require more things from my slave. So I decided to ask for two out of three, since she already has that 24/7 no holiday or weekends or hazard pay job, and trust me I am not easy to live with.
But after thinking about it for a while I found that I did want something for and from myself. I want to be a stronger organizer and leader. I want to have stronger leadership social skills, and be able to be fair and open. I want to be a more skilled player with more skills and that includes being better at the ones that I do have. I want to be able to be calm, quiet, and strong. I want to be able to listen without as much bias to other peoples journeys and be candid about my own.
OK- maybe with as much bias, but I do want to be less conspicuous about it!
At that point I stopped the list, because quite frankly it is much easier to base my Mastery on my slaves behavior then it is to work on mine. And she is prettier to watch to….
So I have some questions for you all out there:
What are your goals for your Mastery that does not require any more work for your slave?
How will you be a stronger Master at the end of 2013 than you were at the end of 2012- that is without running your slave or submissive into the ground?
How have your goals for your Mastery changed over time?