PERV, Party, Lap dances, labia vegatables

I am on such a high from last Saturday. It was one of those days that seemed magical, and wonderful and so very memorable, mostly.  I had worked the night before and was going on little sleep, but the adrenaline of the day was all that I needed! 

 On Saturday afternoon I presented at PERV. This was a dream come true on many levels. First off I love talking about Master and slave relationships that is my joy and my heart.  There were about 15 people there to start and about 11 stayed for the actual talk. It was an advanced crowd that had a lot to offer and I was so amazingly surprised that people were also very candid and open. At the beginning of every PERV is an hour of going over general rules and protocols of group and play etiquette.

Sera and I presented that together, I enjoyed that part, and the one place that got really interesting was when the issue of safe words came up. I listened as people talked about whether or not they use safe words, and the same sort of story kept returning. People would talk about how everyone should use safe words- but they personally don’t play with safe words. At one point after someone talked about how they had just met someone, didn’t negotiate and didn’t play with safe words- but it was the most intense scene they ever had- I interrupted the conversation and said “the conversation about safe words is the same every time- people will say you should use safe words because you are a pussy, I am a bad ass so I don’t use safe words. What safe words really boil down to is how much communication you want during a scene.”   Honestly, my slave and I don’t negotiate and we don’t use safe words, but they are always there if we need them and if they are used we both   know what they are. 

After the rules and protocols we had a break and I was given the floor to present on M/s for the rest of U/us.  I covered the 4 pillars of training the slave, understanding punishment on an emotional, chemical and biological level, the un- trainable slave and the un-trainable Master, and looking at the long term. The people there were amazing; they all had so much to give and were really engaged.  As a group they were open and comfortable enough to talk about those things that didn’t go well, their histories/her stories, and their personal and emotional candor really was something to experience.  

Meanwhile, the whole time, my slave was there looking beautiful, extraordinary and being her loving and supportive self.  This was not an easy thing because I was using her as the example of when things don’t always go right. That is never easy for her, but she was gracious, and because was so wonderful and open to be used as an example the crowd felt open. Her response to my talking about her allowed people to feel safe about talking about themselves.  That was really a gift. 

After PERV people stayed and talked and there was much excitement about July when the Masters group starts- but that is another blog :) When we left PERV the plan was to go see a friend for their birthday and then head up to the NMFL play party. 

That was the plan.

My slave and I got to the party early, and   had a blast helping in the kitchen and talking smack and really enjoying ourselves. When people started to arrive they were so festive and joyful. Then my leather family came and we had a blast over by the grill. We were talking and laughing and interspacing that with deep conversations about organizing and events, and race. It was one of those conversations with just the right balance of love, support, and seriousness.   

Then it happened- my first glass of wine. It was my weakness- Moscato. 

Ohh—as soon as I guzzled that first glass, I knew- game on. At that point I turned to my slave and said "honey, I am drinking tonight."

Now just to so that you know- I am not a drinker,  we don’t keep it in the house, and overall  I feel that the  social emphasis on  drinking  is an  American  embarrassment. I also do not play or have sex impaired. Ever.  Ok wait- I used to have sex impaired and I probably wouldn’t be opposed to doing it again, but as a general rule, it is not my interest.

So, the wine was flowing and I was having a blast! I gave out a lot of lap dances that night and a few nipple dances.  I would take big plates of food around to the crowd and offer it up with the luscious sway of my hips! I circled my hips around WhipDaddys meat (we were working the grill!!) and had people reach for my lady corn!  But the real fun came in the form of the labia vegetables.  That is…. in between lap dances…..

After wards I enjoyed very much so giving the birthday girl her 30 licks- with my tongue, and a little biting! Maybe a little hard on the biting, but as a bottle and a half of Moscato and Riesling as a precursor- I think I did pretty well. Hehehehe!!!

Then I flung myself onto people and made crude remakes about how everyone is a little "het" when they drink, among I am sure other things that somehow have faded into a drunken background.  If I remember correctly there were multiple requests for male strippers- I figured we had already seen some naked women- let’s even the playing field. I was denied that though. Not even a shirt off, or a belly button……

Whew!

I had a blast, even though my poor slave was on edge and watching over my safety every minute. When I drink I get VERY amorous-  I mean  I could fuck  a bar stool, the pool table, and the ID checker before hitting the bar doors, and then  be ready for more when I get home-  that kind of  amorous. So in between that and my already aggressive nature, it can make for a pretty explosive combination.  So my slave watched to make sure that even though I was impaired that others didn’t take advantage of that, or me. It was a hard job for her, stressed her out a lot, but even she even admitted that she was having so much fun at the party that she didn’t want to leave.  

The next morning I woke up full of smiles and hang over free. 

What a day.

DandyKor was AWESOME!!!!!

Last weekend was DandyKor.  It is a group in Albuquerque that puts on queer block parties about once every other month, and for April they enlisted my slave and I to help with the kink element of the party. I was so thrilled to help out, and the outpouring of support, skill, and volunteering from this community was wonderful to see. 

I felt the luckiest because I was able to do the flogging booth and watch as my slave took on the spanking booth. 

I have never done a flogging booth in public before. I have taught flogging, but this was whole new ball game. For the most part I was working with people that had never played and had no reference for the realities of BDSM except for maybe   what they had fantasized about.  It presented its own challenges for example getting people to have confidence, then getting them to understand movement and their own bodies, explaining safety basics, and looking at the bottoms body as a whole--   all within say 15 minutes per couple. It was really great for my brain!!!  I loved the challenge, and seeing people come into the booth scared and intimidated but walk away giddy, smiling, giggling and for many very sexually aroused!   

For some you could see that this was a skill that they took too like a fish to water, and that they connected to on a deep level. This was visible from the people both throwing the flogger as well as receiving the flogging. There were some new bottoms that glazed over in a happy smile and although nervous about asking for more, were very eager for the lesson to continue. 

 I also had the opportunity to have some fun on experienced players and play with my back hand swing. That was a blast!!!  There was a lot of hard hitting fun and laughing! 

Overall I am still on cloud nine from this experience. It was amazing to see people instantly fall in love with flogging the way that I am.  And for those that didn’t fall in love with it I got to see their defenses lower, their fear dissipate, and their confidence sky rocket. 

Honestly, I think one of my favorite parts was the demo. My bottom for the evening and I did an on stage 5 minute demo on flogging. It was hot, sensual, and the crowd was completely engaged.  I had my lovely bottom sitting on a chair facing the crowd with  her   legs open, and I was explaining about how to use  the chest and inner thighs and of course, the genitals. By the end of the demo the crowd was right along with me shouting “pussy! “  I explained about hitting hard and hitting softly, and that sometimes my bottom gets a little mouthy and it is good to hit her a little harder. I made it a point to say that hitting someone hard is easy, that it doesn’t have any art to it but using floggers differently takes finesse and skill. So at the end of the demo I asked the crowd if they had any questions and someone shouted “Isn’t she mouthy now?”  I laughed and gave a thwap to her breasts...  

It was amazing to have a crowd so engaged.

I also surprised myself in being able to talk about both men and women bottoms, and how techniques transfer over. I really felt like I did something worthwhile that night. 

I really enjoyed how my slave took over the spanking booth. she was amazing, and her booth was hot and busy just about all night. In fact she was spanking people all the way until I escorted her out of the building at midnight! I loved watching her interact with everyone.  Although my slave was worried about how well she would do, she is extremely skilled and she seemed to be able to take everyone from the shaking novice, to the bravado butches, to the experienced and wanting all with stride. I was so proud and impressed watching her.  Not only was she hot as hell in her corset, but she was skilled, attentive and knew how to read what people really needed even if they didn’t know it themselves.  I was just beaming.

The whole night was magical and wonderful, and it was just what my slave and I needed. I love those moments.

 Thank you so much to Avery for your vision and powerful leadership in making DandyKor possible. I would like to put out a very special Thank you to all who made this night possible. If it were not for the wonderfully experienced and skilled players manning the caning, paddling, and bondage booths, as well as Tease vending, the amazing leather man M as the MC, Alibi and his slaveonyx, and all of the local groups and individuals that volunteered and donated for this event -G- , AEL, NMFL, and Tease it would not have been the amazing night that it was. I am deeply deeply grateful to all of you.

For more information about Dandykor you can find them here:  http://dandykor.com/

Tons of SHIT TO DO!!!!!!!

Last month was New Mexico Fetlifers four year anniversary. When read the post I wanted to take a few days before I said anything. I wanted to really think about   what it was that NMFL has brought into my life and write a heartfelt reply.

 

So that got me to thinking about all of the things that I have experienced because of someone else s organizational efforts and how lucky I have been that Albuquerque has such strong groups that consistently produce these events. 

From AEL to NMFL to the individuals that run their private groups I feel very blessed to be in a place that has so many places where a person can find a home. 


A person doesn't always fit everywhere but with so many options there is a wonderful chance that everyone will eventually fit somewhere. 


Some of the things that I would never have gotten to experience in my lifetime had it not been for the amazing behind the scenes people of Albuquerque have been:


Being an RGL title holder. Riding in the Pride parade and facing the supporters and the haters. 


Thanks to AEL I have heard people speak that have lived leather for 50 years, and how our community has grown and changed and challenged each other. Listening to people talk about all kinds of play, and toys, safety, history, and relationships. 



Because of AEL's monthly parties I have been able to scene publicly enough so that I developed the skills to play and stay focused on my slave when there are others watching. As well as to be able to deal with someone that is attempting to take me away from my scene, or my slave away from her head space. Not just deal with them, but do so in a way that doesn't stop the flow of what we are doing.  I also now remember to wipe down the equipment, and have learned how to protect my slave in her post play space.  Those are things that you can only learn by doing, and doing consistently.



Thanks to NMFL I have been able to meet my idols Jay Wiseman and VI Johnson. Not just meet them, but have actual face to face time to talk to them.  Then there was when Guy Baldwin praised my slaves cooking- I will carry that with me for a long time.  I loved playing with liquid nitrogen, hearing Patrick  Mulcahey and his slave talk, and the stories of people that I would never have been able to meet otherwise.  I have also had the chance to learn about the bigotry surrounding pro Dommes that comes directly from our community that still blows my mind. 



Thanks to the Brickhouse Betties I have been able to come to terms with being a person of size.  Listening to and taking part of open and frank discussions that dealt with people’s bigotry, pain, and love has changed my life. It changed how I view myself, my body, and how I have the right to be treated as a person of size. It also opened my ears to the messages that I am being sent- so that way I can hear them fully- and tell them to fuck off.



Thanks to all of those that put their personal efforts into AEL Kinskills I am now a more knowledgeable and skilled player.  The real thrill has been watching other people take what skills that Kinkskills has brought them and actively use them. That gives me great great joy.




There is so much that I wish that I could put down here but it would be a long long blog!!!